Heater, Mother of Lance

View of L.A. from Runyon Canyon circa October 2002

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    2005/01/15 at 7:26 am

    That is a great post I have to say. All of it, but frankly the last parts where the best. Does Beth know you were totally messing with her? Well, I guess she does now!
    My kid would have been SCREAMING bloody murder if he fell in mud.

  • Smoove D

    2005/01/15 at 7:26 am

    Nice shot. I dig the surrealness of it all.

  • honestyrain

    2005/01/15 at 7:32 am

    as cold as it is here – and it is buttfuck cold – i don’t think i could trade it for smog. not LA smog anyway. i prefer san diego and san francisco.

  • Serephin

    2005/01/15 at 7:47 am

    Dooce —

    Eyebrows have lips?

  • Meggan

    2005/01/15 at 7:50 am

    Looks smoggy. As opposed to the Utah pictures, I can’t say this entices me to visit.

  • Beth

    2005/01/15 at 7:59 am

    I went to LA once to visit my dad when I as 9. I bought a snow globe, but instead of ‘snow’ it had ‘dirt’, and it settled along the top of the tiny skyline. At the bottom it said, “LA’s Got it All!”

    Not to say I’m not trying to convince my hubby to take me for a visit, though. Thanks for the pic!

  • Julie

    2005/01/15 at 8:05 am

    Leta is better off being raised in Utah than in Smogland.

  • Julie

    2005/01/15 at 8:06 am

    San Diego, on the other hand, is beautiful today!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    2005/01/15 at 8:19 am

    Serephin (#54), I don’t mind eyebrows having lips. It’s when they sprout a tongue that I pull down the shades. . .

  • L'aura

    2005/01/15 at 8:20 am

    COFFEE GIRL: Why did constantinople get the works?

    That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

  • Alaska Danielle

    2005/01/15 at 8:29 am

    Remember when Punjab did the 7Up commercials? “Nevah had eet, nevah weeel”?

    That’s how I feel about L.A.

  • EWP

    2005/01/15 at 8:32 am

    I LOOOOVE L.A.! I just recently moved back to L.A. from being in Florida for 8 month. I just love the mixture of different people. I think L.A. is at least 20 years ahead of the rest of the country in almost every way whether that’s good or bad.

    Dooce, you need to come back!!

  • jules

    2005/01/15 at 8:33 am

    this one really made me smile….

    i miss that view each and every day

  • Erin

    2005/01/15 at 8:38 am

    Wow, all of you must be really sensitive to smog… the smog in that picture looks way better than it usually does! At least in the picture it isn’t a poop-brown color, like it usually is. And just think, it was about 200x worse in the 70s and 80s…

    Can you tell that I’m an Angelino? 🙂

  • another mama

    2005/01/15 at 8:42 am

    Awww, now you made me go and miss taking my furry fruitcakes hiking up there! Views, dust, celebrities, and dog shit. Good times.

  • Jennifer

    2005/01/15 at 8:43 am

    I sometimes forget how trendy it is to speak ill of Los Angeles, especially by people who have never visited it, or only did the tourist thing.

    That looks more like weather-haze than smog. Smog = brown. Haze = greys. Unless, of course, Her Dooceness tweaked the colors.

    And for the non-Angelenos, Runyon Canyon (where she took the pic) is IN Los Angeles. It’s a big-ass city, for sure.

  • Miss Kimberley

    2005/01/15 at 8:43 am

    I love America, where you can buy beer IN THE GROCERY STORE. And when we were in L.A. I had to buy a six pack every fuckin’ time I walked into a 7-11.

  • Katie

    2005/01/15 at 8:48 am

    Ahh, nothing like pollution to wake you up in the morning.

    But it was raining hardcore for days here so now it’s nice and clear.

  • Jay

    2005/01/15 at 8:50 am

    Today in LA it’s crystal clear, blue skies, calm, and 70 degrees. All the hills are green and beautiful. The rain has washed all the dust and grime off the buildings and streets.

    God I wish I was skiing in Utah right now.


  • Kassi

    2005/01/15 at 8:50 am

    I’m not sure what is stranger: that some of the information I have been looking for have been featured links on your sight, or that I am looking for that particular information. Regardless…thanks!

  • Stephanie

    2005/01/15 at 8:52 am

    You take the most beautiful freaking pictures. I am soooo jealous!

  • Kristen

    2005/01/15 at 9:19 am

    first time poster…

    As a current resident of southern california, I think that part of the charm of L.A. is the gross smog and the grungy streets. It’s an acquired taste, but once you can appreciate it, nothing else comes close.

  • Wen

    2005/01/15 at 9:26 am

    Thia was taken a mere two blocks from my home.

    LA misses you dooce.

  • Kristine

    2005/01/15 at 9:31 am


    you a Laker fan?

  • nothanks

    2005/01/15 at 9:46 am

    Ah! I’m suppose to be hiking there right now but I over slept.
    Dooce, I love your site, and if you were still here in la la land, I’d try to keep up on the stairs with ya.

  • 01234

    2005/01/15 at 9:50 am

    3) The way some people can just make it up as they go along, on the fly, is a source of some envy, because it’s more fun with two, and I can’t remember the last time I hung out with someone that fed off my lines and vice versa.

    6) I totally MISSED OUT.

  • Alyssa

    2005/01/15 at 9:55 am

    I hardly ever comment, but I just have to…

    It’s so true about fat guys! Think there’s a logical explanation?

  • Alaska Danielle

    2005/01/15 at 10:10 am

    Jennifer (#66)
    “I sometimes forget how trendy it is to speak ill of Los Angeles, especially by people who have never visited it, or only did the tourist thing.”

    Speaking only for myself, I lived in California for four years, and frequented L.A. to stay with friends. I’m not sure if it’s trendy, I just don’t enjoy the place. I can say that about a lot of cities now that I’ve lived in Alaska. 🙂 To each his own, I suppose.

  • kim

    2005/01/15 at 10:15 am

    it looks great but from what i heard it’s just too expensive to live there. and i really can’t be bothered with earthquakes and stuff like that… but i hope everyone is okay over there with the flooding and all..

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    2005/01/15 at 10:28 am

    My husband is fat and his penis is perfect. And by perfect I mean he makes me ORGASM IN UNDER 2 MINUTES (jack hammering as he likes to call it)! Hey, I know it isn’t 20 seconds but nobody is perfect.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    2005/01/15 at 10:29 am

    Even if their penis is.

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    2005/01/15 at 10:40 am

    I feel so close to you right now, Mrs. Strizzay.

  • Girl.A

    2005/01/15 at 10:48 am

    LA has some very cool museums and restaurants.

    I did not realize this until I visited there. I had been scared into believing it was a city of people exclusively in wheelchairs and saran wrap after hearing that Missing Person album so many times as a kid.

  • cimalouise

    2005/01/15 at 10:57 am

    No jealousy…I am going there today…(I live in West Hollywood…and used to live near the fairfax district, you know, your old neighborhood) You are NOT MISSING ANYTHING. Life out here is still as it always was…if you know what I mean. I can’t wait to trade it for beautiful clean air, miles of open space, a wonderful scrumptious bearded, and a baby with dimpled thighs. Yes, I know…and don’t worry. I am enjoying what I have now…not taking it for granted…but trust me…I hope that that vision of my future happens too… You are so lucky…wake up and smell chuck’s feet for goodness sakes!

  • GSV Micturition to Windward

    2005/01/15 at 11:27 am

    Came back to read the new comments since I posted my very first one a few hours ago. Read from #41 to #84 while trying to button the sleeves on my shirt, at which point I realized I had a vitally important piece of information to share with you all:

    If you can read 44 comments in the time it takes you to FAIL to button up your sleeves, your shirt is inside-out.

  • DG

    2005/01/15 at 11:32 am

    Dear, sweet, Mrs. Strizzay,

    Maybe it’s not your husband’s penis wot’s perfect.

    Maybe it’s your girl parts that are?

    Or – maybe * *together* *, yours and his are a perfect combination?

    Anyways, the long and short of it is that we won’t be able to know for certain without a visual assessment. 😉


  • Amanda B.

    2005/01/15 at 11:32 am

    This has turned into an E.coast/W.coast verbal drive by. Awesome.

    Listen, I grew up visiting New Orleans about twice a month. I’ve never been to a stinker, dirtier, scarier place in my life. I love the hell out of it. If you visit on a Saturday and hang out by the river you will see every type of person you can imagine, in every stage of undress know to man. The food is unbelievable. And, by the way the entire city is haunted.

    I love New Orleans and it’s beer/urine/vomit smell, but there’s no way in hell I’d pay $1500.00 bucks a month to live there.

  • Carol

    2005/01/15 at 11:39 am

    Hey Amanda B! I love New Orleans, too! I was there for Jazz Fest one time and was going home (walking of all things!) late at night when we saw a pack, A PACK, of stray dogs just sauntering down the street. Thank God they didn’t see us. That was the scariest, most surreal thing I’ve ever seen. That city is beautiful, weird, fun as hell, crazy and dangerous all at the same time.

  • Kristine

    2005/01/15 at 11:42 am

    Hi everyone. It’s quiet this weekend.

    In the past whenever dooce is up for an award and needs lots of votes I send an email to my friends on my mailing list telling them to go vote and 200 plus people rush to do it. we’ve known each other for 7 years, we are a family and when someone needs something we do what it takes to get it done.
    It reminds me a lot of this place. This is why I am writing this here.
    Julia (one of listees daughters) turns 13 today. Julia is being teased at school (they live in LA) every single day for not having money, not being skinny, being a ‘loser’.
    I sent Julia an email with a link to my blog, I wrote her something.

    Will you please put a “Happy Birthday Julia” comment for her on my blog so when she goes there tonight she can see how many people are good and not horribly mean and cruel?

    And I promise never to write a really long comment again.

    I love this comment page and all the people here….well, except that one person who says mean things.

  • Eric

    2005/01/15 at 11:49 am

    Nice of you to only send Em the bill for the carpet cleaning. I would have sent her the vomit in an envelope stating “To Emily, with love, Chuck.”

  • Kassi

    2005/01/15 at 12:42 pm

    I like Eric’s idea. Barf in the mail will probably be the next new thing.

    It beats finding human poop in the litter box.

  • Em

    2005/01/15 at 1:04 pm

    Ah, LA. Nice to see you.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    2005/01/15 at 1:05 pm

    Human poop in the litter box? My dog would *so* eat that.

  • Tim

    2005/01/15 at 1:18 pm

    Hey, I can see my house from here!

  • Kristine

    2005/01/15 at 1:32 pm

    whoa. to everyone that left a comment for julia…thank you SO much. i never thought she would get so many. thank you.

    i would never want to be 13 again.

  • Cristin

    2005/01/15 at 2:14 pm

    Hey Kristine, the Dooce Posse can be your posse too, right?

    at least when needed 🙂

  • mrs. george #2

    2005/01/15 at 2:24 pm

    google ad: “kee-ka for the wee ones!”
    I am really, REALLY scared to click on that based on all the #1 licky that was going on here yesterday.

  • Crystal

    2005/01/15 at 2:35 pm

    “Laurie Mecham has never lost her penis.”
    And I hope she never does-thanks for sharing the link to the article.

  • Carol

    2005/01/15 at 2:37 pm

    Kristine – i just left a comment for Julia – I hope it’s not too late?

  • Dan

    2005/01/15 at 3:10 pm

    We miss you too

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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