Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Is this thing on?

  • I was married in a court house where the ceromony took all of 4.7 minutes. And it was to cold to go take pictures outside. At least we cropped the prisoners out of the pics. And I was pregnant. SO PWT.

  • Excellent. Heather, you were a gorgeous bride!

  • just LOOK at your gorgeous dress! i love it that you guys already knew what many of us marrieds found out after they wed – it’s stupid to waste your money and energy on a ceremony for other people…making it personal and your own is the coolest way to go!

    you guys are so funny in that pic.

  • You both looked fabulous. Heather did you try the curlers again that day? I must say it looks fantastic.

  • Love the hair Heather!

  • amy

    You are a stunning couple – even when you are trying to figure out if the camera is working!

  • I really like this photo. I too, thought that you’d hired a photographer, or that the person who did your wedding ceremony was doubly-talented. So, I’m impressed at the use of the tripod and timer.

    I went looking for your wedding pics, tried “wedding”, “elope”, and “hair disaster” in the search category…. but nothing pulled them up.

    So, I’m going to take pity on anyone else who goes searching and post the link here:

    The third pic? Long arms and a steady hand, wow!

  • Mir

    See, now, I only have beautiful and posed pictures from my wedding, and I’m divorced. I firmly believe it’s pictures like this that hold a couple together.

  • Heather, A good friend of mine (who reads my site and has subsequently become hopelessly addicted to Dooce) pointed out that it has been a while since you have done any albums like the Elopacious one and the others from trips, etc. So from one reader… they were awesome and I, for one, would love to see more of them. 🙂

  • RazDreams

    Danielle: the search on dooce’s website seems to be case-sensitive. try searching with Capitals at the beginning of the words to see if that helps. likely, you also may have to have the word typed *exactly* as it is in the post (i.e., if the word is “eloped,” you couldn’t find it with just “elope”…that’s what i’m thinking).

  • DG

    No.7 & No.12 = ♥

  • I like that one alot.

  • confusion

  • hehehe i love it.

  • I love 1, 2, *3*, and 14!!! (yes I just used 3 of em) So pretty!

  • wow. what an amazing backdrop. you both look awesome. i hope that my b/f and i can take cool wedding day photos…whenever that day arrives 😉

  • Southern Fried Girl

    That is such a beautiful spot to get married. Good for you all for doing it your own way. 🙂

  • That scenery is surreal it’s so beautiful.

    I love the fact that you and Jon did that together. You just went off and got married, damn it. Took your own professional wedding photos, thankyou very much.

    After the clusterfuck that was our wedding, I wish Scott and I had done the same damn thing. In fact, on our 10th anniversary, we just might.

  • nerdarific!


  • I love this pic! Perfect wedding photo.

  • By the way, gorgeous dress!

  • hehehe. That’s cute. 🙂

  • Totally unrelated to the photo, but in regards to sex with fat men..

    I read an article about the size issue with overweight men, and apparently the heavier a man is, the more his penis shrinks. Yes, you heard me, his penis shrinks. So it’s scientifically proven that fat men generally have little bitties. I’m at a loss as to how to describe why, but maybe you can Google it.

  • I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for my old wedding pictures 😉

    I will write up something formal and mushy for what you all did yesterday for Julia.
    I had no idea how many awkward 13 year old adults who had been teased in school resided on’s comment page.

    You guys are fantastic and I love you for commenting for Julia…I wish I could just give everyone a hug. I got home and I read what you all wrote and cried. You guys are unbelievable and I am in awe of all of you.

    As soon as I hear from Julia & her mom Laura, I will let you know what she said.

    Thank you again!!

  • I also enjoy the word “RIFUCKINGDICULOUS”

  • So beautiful!

  • bb

    You DO have large hands!
    (not meant as an insult, since I admire you very much and check this website often)

  • Sarah

    I was wondering if you got your dress at the place that advertised their selection of “hundreds of modest wedding dresses” for the modern Mormon bride.

    Just kidding. You look lovely. 🙂

  • The dress is beautiful! The flowers lovely. You look gorgeous. But I’m trying to figure out why you would marry a man whose head is three times the size of your head.

    Oh, wait, my bad. It’s all about the perspective. Carry on.

  • Alena – I know why the fat man has the penis issue, and this may be too much info. As the man gets fatter, his mons pubis gets fatter, and the penis kinda gets enveloped by the fat. If he loses weight, the fat goes, and the knob goes back to normal. So it’s not that his penis shrinks, it’s just not um..fully displayed.

    I just typed the words “mons pubis”. Woah.

  • Fat man penis retraction on the next Extreme Makeover (home edition)

  • SEK

    Dooce, my husband and I were married on August 27, 2002, and my son was born on February 3, 2004. I just thought it was kinda cool our important dates were so close to yours. Beautiful!

  • Flowers

    Gerber Daisies and roses!

  • I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You’re Gorgeous! And he ain’t so bad either…

    Always love your photo’s… it’s a daily addiction!

  • That picture is fucking beautiful. I would marry you guys in a heart beat. Please excuse the ass kissing, but I am dead serious!

  • another paula

    My god yes! You do have incredibly long arms and large hands! I agree- I like your hair not curled like that.. yikes!

    But- wow- is Jon hot without facial hair…wowwowowoww… is that why you encourage him to grow it? lolol…

  • Whoever said this looks kinda like a paparazzi picture was right. And you both look great.

  • That’s how I first learned about the blurbdoocery, your way cool wedding pics, as linked to by kottke.

  • Ok, So maybe he doesn’t have the “ridge” but he is SOOOOOOO the rest of the Ridgeback thing…..

    I am now lobbying for the naming of Chuck’s 75% Rhodesian Ridgeback, 25% Retriver.

    Heather? Any votes here? Am I close?

  • you know what i like about those little daily photo icon thingies you have on your main page? it’s that you never know what the big picture is going to be.

  • Dooce – Leta looks like you here. A LOT. Can you see it? I think that it’s more apparent to see genetic links when people are making a face that isn’t posed for a camera, but is very natural – this is not a face unlike the one that Leta made when she realized Santa wasn’t you or Jon!

    See? She *does* look like you! Hurrah!

  • You look so much like Gwen Steffani here!

  • This photo, IMO, reminds me of Gwen Stefani in the What You Waiting For video….Heather’s hair, the dress, all the colors…IMO…I LOVE IT!

  • THAT is my kind of wedding picture!

  • karen

    even when you two are making little gargoyle faces, you still manage to produce an excellent photo. I’m completely irrirated by the entire concept.

  • Harry

    Ahhhhhhh……….Wedding Pic au naturale….the best and most memorable. Bewbie Newc!!

  • Harry

    that was bewdie newc!

  • Number 89: I don’t think Chuck has any Ridgeback in him, but only because Ridgebacks weigh in the 100 pound range and AS CUTE AS CHUCK IS, I could totally take his ass. He weighs, what, around 40 pounds?

    Anyway, I guess we’re all trendy as fuck, because I had orange gerber dasies (at my Vegas wedding) too.

  • I had like 4 roses at my wedding. HELLO on a budget here people!

  • trucmuche

    Nice! Is it me or is the picture too stretched horizontally? Looks like the frame was designed for the D70’s aspect ratio.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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