An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Family portrait

  • I can’t believe people are arguing about CAR SEAT…Inward until 20 lbs…you are technically allowed to face outward after 20 lbs. but really the American Society of Pediatrics says you should face inward until 1 year.


    Car seats are IMPOSSIBLE to install. If anyone is reading this, be sure and check to see if your local police have a car seat program. Without them, we actually could not install the car seat–and this is in several cars–our parents and ours.

    I have a booklet here that says what is what. And no parent will be dumb enough to go on what a comment on someone’s blog said, I’m sure. So why do I even bother?

    Baby Bjorns are the best thing. The only expensive baby thing that is actually worth the money.

  • Hereyago
  • I’m going to repeat myself here…. I really do Not think that is Chuck in the background. Although it would be nice if it were.

    Not only is the dog in the background too yellow and too big with a chest that is wider than Chuck’s, but I looked up the pic from Jan 12, and Chuck’s collar is a chain. You can also see that his collar is a chain it in the dogpark pics. (1,3 etc etc) Now, I don’t have the greatest monitor on my computer, but I really don’t think that the dog in the background has on a chain collar.

    The dog in the background looks like a lab.

    Plus, would the Armstrongs and Emily really let Chuck wander that far away while taking pics?

  • Mary: actually, there is a reason it’s 20 lbs and one year old for children to be rear-facing–the child’s skeletal structure is not developed enough before 1 yr and can be damaged worse when facing forward during a crash.

    Rachel: I doubt anyone would deliberately putting their child at risk (if they were gonna do that, why use a car seat at all?). Some kids just don’t fit in the rear-facing seats anymore, no matter their weight or age. And guess what? The safety people say to put kids in seats that fit them, rather than in one they have outgrown, regardless of direction. There are differing degrees of safety, and forward facing at less than 20 lbs or less than a year is better than backward facing in a too-small seat. Of course, rear-facing would be perfect, but until they start to make custom car seats for every child, that’s just not gonna happen.

    And besides, Leta being a week or two shy of her birthday is probably close enough, dontcha think? It’s an arbitrary number because all kids are well-enough developed by then to sit forward.

    ok, of my ramblin’ soapbox now. 🙂

  • Rachel

    I have never seen or heard of a kid under 20 lbs that does not fit in a rear facing seat. Maybe the infant seats but not a convertable seat like Leta is in.

    My comment earlier was wrong, I said rear facing instead of forward, thats what I get for typing with a 2 year old climbing on me.

  • Lori

    Sheesh, I’m sorry I had to READ the car seat sheezat.

    But I will say – police department car seat safety program ROCKS!! I did not have to read the instructions or try to figure the stupid belts and latches out. It took them less than 5 minutes, what would have taken me half an hour and had me swearing.

  • Yaaaay! Happy Family!

    Strangely, that’s a combo at a Grandview, Missouri Chinese Restaurant.

    The Armstrongs are yummier.

  • Um… Is it still okay to post a comment that doesn’t involve car seat safety?
    Nice pic, Dooce.

  • mg2

    Wonderful! Happy, lovely family.

  • copy_kitty

    Speaking of car seats. Here in Texas they want to pass a law that requires kids up to the age of eight ride in car seats. Well, my eight-year-old wears a women’s size six shoe and it almost as tall as her teacher.

    And I’m supposed to strap he into a car seat?!

  • Cristin

    in NJ the law is now eight years old *or* 80 lbs, whichever comes first.
    My eldest was quite ticked off about this, there was never enough room in the Brownie troop leaders van for her booster, I had to drive because she is a WAIF, and is now only eighty pounds at 10 years old.


  • All I know is Dooce can strap her kid into a laundry basket with some speaker wire if she chooses to and not a damn thing any one of us can do about it. So there. :0P

  • Mmmm, wintry.

  • That photo makes my heart smile.

  • Deenzadrine



  • Laura C.

    That’s right, Mrs.Strizzay! 🙂

  • butternut

    Now that GEORGE! has his own blog, does this mean Dooce already has a spinoff?

  • i love how chuckie is posing in the background. he’s like, “i’m back here peoples!”

  • Smiling! A new Dooce photo fave.

  • Hee hee, dooce spin off. THATS good.

    I’m home today. Sinus headache. So I am doing some blog hopping before the medication kicks in…whoa, there it is…and I was reading about American Idol…if Dooce got on that show, she would win. She has us to vote her to the top 3 AT LEAST.

    Next year, she should try out…what is the name of the song she sings?

  • Aah push it by Salt N Peppa?

  • Cammie

    Jelene; I don’t think thats Chuck in the background. That dog is yellow.

  • regarding car seats:
    My husband has 8 other brothers and sisters (every sperm being sacred and all) and he sat on the floor.

    I come from a family of six. I got to sit on the HUMP. Kind of explains a lot about us. Mybey too much. I’ll go now.

  • Love the Valectric Avenue post.
    I used to sing (with GREAT feeling) a popular song by Bonnie Tyler. Sing it with me, now…

    It’s a HOT EGG!
    Nothin’ but a HOT EGG!
    Gitcha-gitcha GOOD EGG
    Gitcha-gitcha doooooowwwwwn.

    That’s how I sang it, anyway.

    But I do know most of the real words to “You Light Up My Life.” So there.

  • alas, that is not Chuck in the background. he was most likely humping Emily’s leg as she took the picture.

    calm down about the car seat people. I’ve already got about 100 emails in my inbox telling me that by putting her in the forward-facing position that I’m going to kill her. thanks.

    she’s over 20lbs, extremely tall, and her 1st birthday is in less than two weeks. i distinctly remember standing up in the backseat of my father’s GTO when I was three-years-old. he hasn’t yet been arrested.

  • Andrea

    My girlfriends and I always thought it was “Electric Carbonute.”

  • Yes, but are you going to try out for American Idol next year is the REAL question?

  • YEAH DOOCE! Get ’em. I used to sleep in the REAR WINDOW of my parents hooptie when I was little. And I also used to ride in the back of his pickup without, GASP, any restraining device. I clearly remember standing up and looking over the top of the cab while he rode into town too.

  • Commonly fucked up lyrics by Kristine:

    Hotel California:
    “My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim…I had to stop for the night.”

    Kristine’s version:
    “My hydro-heady and my Cyclo Den…I had to stop for the night.”

  • Dooce,
    You tell ’em, girl! My sis and I would stand through the sunroof of my grandpa’s Audi Fox WHILE IT WAS MOVING and we lived to tell about it.

    Honesty, y’all… you KNOW how much Heather and Jon and Chuck love their Leta… think about it. You KNOW they wouldn’t do anything to put her in any danger.

    All of our kids were built bigger than the average baby, and all were “flipped forward” within weeks of their first birthday, at the blessing of the pediatrician, no less.


    Sheesh. He should clearly be wearing a helmet as should Leta, considering how much you like to go off-roading with your most precious people in tow.

  • VenusManTrap

    What I really want to know is now that Ive LOST 20 lbs. should I be forward or rear-facing in my car??!! The boyfriend votes for for rear.

  • I swear it is ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

  • LMAO @ Tori and Venus. I far exceed 20 Lbs but I am only 3 foot 6. Should I be restrained?

  • Valectric Avenue — HA!

    My Mom heard the lyrics to the song “Fame” as “Take your pants off and make it happen”. She used that as an explanation of why she really didn’t want us to listen to that song.

    As a young adult (I was somewhere between 12-14 years old), I felt awkward telling her the real lyrics “Take your passion and make it happen” and the “real” meaning behind the song and that is was not just a “sex thing”… I did explain the facts to her, though. After all, I was pretty into the whole “Fame” thing I couldn’t just sit back and let her tell me I couldn’t listen to the song/watch the show any more.

  • The law here in Texas states that the child must be 20 pounds OR 1 year of age. I’m sure if it WAS wrong, she’d get pulled over and they’d tell her.

    Jesus people, Leta probably gets more love and more attention than any of your own children.

    Lay off of Heather!

  • You all look extremely safe in that photo.

    Oh thank the lord amen.


  • Yeah, what Melanie said!
    My kids think that Leta is their cousin because they see her picture more often than my own relatives.
    “Is there a new picture of cousin Leta on the ‘puter?”
    Maybe I should spend more time with my kids…and dog.

  • Anonymous

    Settle down with the car seat business,people! I clearly stated that I was JOKING. My daughter lacks a whole 3 ounces from being 20lbs. I think we can all agree that we love our kids and do what we think is best.

    Sorry, dooce, if my comment was misinterpreted.

  • What a cute pic! I saw you mentioned in our news paper this morning, The San Francisco Chronicle in a stroy about getting fired for your blog. I was very excited.

  • My nephew used to sing that Right Said Fred song “264”. He was 6 and he would go around singing “I’m 264 my car, 264 my car, 260 by far!”

    Funny I was just commenting with friends about how a memory is something that may or may not be true with a capital T, but its validity comes from something real on some level.

    I just googled *valetric* and even tho it came up with two lame hits the top of the page said:
    ” Did you mean *electric* ? ”

  • BJT

    Cutest. Picture. Ever. I hope that when my husband and I decide to have kids that we are half as happy and attractive a family as you seem to be.

  • now THAT’S happiness!

  • Mark

    Isn’t it annoying getting about 50 emails a day that consist of some variation of “Am I First?!”

  • Rachel: my daughter was too tall to fit into the convertible seat rear-facing, because you have to use the straps in the lowest position only when it is in that way. Don’t know if they make ’em different now, but that’s how it was a couple of years ago.

    So now you can say you’ve heard of at least one kid under 20 lbs who didn’t fit in a rear-facing. Cruise any of the baby boards about car seats, and you’ll probably hear of more. The problem is not common, but it’s not non-existent, either.

  • I once saw a diaper-only clad baby sitting between the front seats on the plastic hump above the parking brake. At that I *was* upset.

    Also, one of my friends was brought home from the hospital in a CARDBOARD BOX.

  • Shiz, did they at least mark the box “Fra-geee-lay”?

  • tickled

    All this talk ’bout hearing things the way they ain’t reminds me of a neighbor kid who thought
    “Silent Night” had a line that went “Mind your business, Mother and Child.”

    And of course we all know the hymn “Sadly, the Cross-Eyed Bear.”

  • Cristin

    I remeber when Alanis Morisette’s first hit was hitting the charts, and a girl called the radio while we were listening. After “You oughta know” was on for the millionth time in three days, this ditz (lol) wanted to know what the “cross-eyed bear” looked like!

  • Brian Ford

    You… people… scare me.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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