Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.


  • You can’t forget ‘gnarly’, ‘wicked’, ‘righteous’, ‘far out’, and ‘stoked’.

    My formative years were in California during the 80’s, and I fully admit that my speech was freely peppered with surfer-speak. In the Bay Area, we used the word ‘hella’ a lot. ‘Yeah, that’s hella gnarly, dude!’

  • “Aye, the movie is Rated – R(uff) by the Moving Picture Association of Chuck”

  • There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
    Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
    the light.
    Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
    She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
    So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
    romantic session, she turned on the lights.
    She looked down… and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
    pleasure device… a vibrator!
    Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
    She went completely ballistic.
    “You impotent bastard,” She screamed at him, “how could you be lying to
    me all of these years?
    You better explain yourself!”
    The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
    “I’ll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”

  • i thought the thumbnail photo looked like a perfectly round toilet bowl.

    totally screwed with my head when i opened it up and it was Chuck 😉

  • Just wanted to share that my best friend and I were IM-ing about an hour ago and she said
    “I need to do a dooce”


    …wait for it…

    …”not just another cheek-clenched sprint to the bathroom”!

  • Chuck Fridays are the best!
    I thought the thumbnail looked like a jacuzzi, I was really envying Dooce.

    Go, Leta, Go!

  • Andrea in Canada

    I’m waving at you Leta! 🙂 Hi sweet baby girl!

  • Annejelynn

    Another reminder….

    I’ve submitted my votes — have you???

    DOOCELINGS, submit your votes!!

  • Laurie

    I always forget its chuck fridays, until I get to work and open dooce for the day. What a great way to start the weekend.

  • Robyn


    I used to have a dog that had the cutest face but hated EVERYONE. Especially kids. And kids would just have to come up and pet him. And I would have to say to their parents, “If my dog takes your kids hand off, I am NOT LIABLE.”

  • Okay, really late comment but I thought Satan’s post was pretty freakin funny.

    And wow, I am so glad Chuck Friday was invented. He rocks!

  • b

    sides. hurting. God bless you Jon for searching through the “back files” for that Berenstein Bear comment. and God bless you Heather for allowing me to spew coffee hither and yon.

  • My God, that’s scary.

  • Charlotte

    Chaka, Chaka, Chaka
    Chaka Khan
    Chaka Khan
    Chaka Khan
    Chaka Khan

    Chaka Khan
    Let me rock you
    Let me rock you
    Chaka Khan
    Let me rock you
    That’s all I wanna do
    Chaka Khan
    Let me rock you
    Let me rock you
    Chaka Khan
    Let me rock you
    ‘Cause I feel for you
    Chaka Khan
    Won’t you tell me
    What you wanna do
    Do you feel for me
    The way I feel for you
    Chaka Khan
    Let me tell you what I wanna do
    I wanna love you
    Wanna hug you
    Wanna squeeze you too
    Let me take you in my arms
    Let me fill you with my charms
    ‘Cause you know that I’m the one
    To keep you warm, Chaka
    I’ll make it more than just a physical dream
    I wanna rock you, Chaka, baby
    ‘Cuz you make me wanna scream
    Let me rock you
    Rock you

  • Effie

    I can’t wait till my hubbie and I have kids–so we can experience something as special as a first wave, or a first blink…..Yay Leta!

    And FYI–if I hadn’t seen the cute pics of Chuck prior to this, I’d think he was a scary dog–but from all the talk about him I know he’s not–just playing probably!

  • Hey, Chucka Khan!

    You ain’t got no kind of feeling inside
    I got something that will sure ’nuff set your stuff on fire
    You refuse to put anything before your pride
    I got something that will knock all your pride aside

    Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
    Tell me that you love me
    Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
    Tell me that you like it, yeah

    Got no time is what you’re known to say
    I’ll make you wish there were 48 hours to each day
    Problem is you ain’t been loved like you should
    What I got to give will sure ’nuff do you good

  • tk

    Oy… he looks scary! I have a friend who’s border collie “smiles” at people. He looks scary because he’s baring his teeth, but he’s not pissed, he’s just happy to see ya! Once you realize it’s a smile, it’s pretty funny to see.

    Glad to hear that Leta waved. That’s totally cool. I love it when babies do stuff for the first time and you are actually there to see it (not that I have any of my own – I play with other peoples so I can give them back when they are cranky or poopy). Never fails to amaze me the stuff they pick up on. Totally cool!!!


  • LMAO BGSam..why should we all have the perverted fun right??

    Has anyone seen Girl A? Amanda B untied her last night and she ran into the woods….I think she is trying to find the police station. But I am really *concerned* she might get hurt or something so I have to find her (first).

  • He’s probally not a vicious as he looks.

  • Quick, hide the sheep! LOL

    Very clever title, Heather. 🙂

  • tpaquin

    What Chuck is really thinking:
    Bring it on Mother fucker!

    Can I borrow chuck for my 12:30 meeting. Id like to open a can of Chuck-a-lota-woop-ass all over that room.

    Chuck crack a cold one and relax, its friday.

  • Carol

    Chaka Khan – my friend thought it was “chocolate pecan”

  • Ah, the first wave. I don’t even have kids, but that’s big, man. I remember when my nephew first did something that made me feel like life was just blossoming before me. Now he’s 13 and has officially fallen down the Moody Adolescent Rabbit Hole. (But I love him dearly and will be there to do shots with him when he emerges into Moody Adulthood.)

    It’s great that you can enjoy each of those moments for their own beauty…and tell someone to suck it in the same sentence.

  • Annejelynn

    When using “sweet” as an adjective (vs. ‘awesome’ or ‘cooooel’),
    I prefer
    “schweeet!” (I blame my boyfriend)

  • Sammi

    Scary pic! I loved the goodbye wave story!

  • Charlotte

    I keep thinking of ChakaKhan…cue all you lyrics experts

  • Annejelyn — no, don’t be worried. You just have a really great perspective on things. 🙂

  • Charlotte: Oh no. I hope she’s feeling better soon, and that you can get some quality rest.

  • I JUST SPIT OUT MY COFFEE THATWASSOFUNNY!I first thought it said “Chuckabra”…like “shakabra”.But then I realized you were making the Chupacabra reference…GOOOOOOOOD ONE!!! Dooce…you rule. 🙂

  • bye bye the way, I DID get the Violent Femmes reference, heather.

    “Tell ya man I’m stuck on this lovely girl…”

  • Carol

    When I look at the mini-pic, I think I can see Chucks brain.

  • i was scared *blush*

  • vmc

    Her first wave, that is amazing! It’s during those “first” moments that you realize how absolutely consumed you are going to be with your child and her development for years to come. Thrilling!

  • my cat gets the green eye too when I take pics of him – (LINUS sez hi to Chuck, btw) I read somewhere that the effect is from some layer on the animal eye that humans don’t have??
    where is that cool girl who had all the way-scientific trivia? come back, wherever you are.

    PS – LINUS won’t hurt – he promises!

  • Charlotte

    CircusKelli: I’m afraid it’s just that time of year. We spent the night dozing in the recliner. I gave up putting her in her crib after I was going in there every 10 minutes! The poor thing just couldn’t breathe.

  • Annejelynn

    Charlotte and Circus Kelli – I too thought the thumbnail may have been a putting green or sumthin’ of the like …and that with a full night’s rest – should I be concerned?

  • No way Jennay, dudical is a really 1989 word.

  • Annejelynn

    I’ve submitted my votes — have you???

    DOOCELINGS, submit your votes!!!

  • Shazza

    ah HA! Victoria- great minds think alike..I asked the same thing a while back!

    ..and dammit, Im STILL wondering!

  • victoria

    How do you get Chuck to tolerate the Crest Whitening Strips?

  • Cathi

    Dooce – I felt the same way the first time my daughter ate her mac & cheese with a fork (while I stood right next to her, totally expecting her to poke her eye out). The thrill of progress!

  • Charlotte said at 09:46AM, 01.28.2005:
    I thought the thumbnail looked like a tiny golf course where the little spot of reflection was the hole. Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night (sick baby).

    Et tu, Charlotte? Buddy was tossing and turning and whimpering off and on all night. I got up about a half dozen times to check on him and ‘retuck’ him before he woke at 4:30am.

  • Andrea in Canada

    I voted Dooce! Did you?….

  • Aaron

    Hmm. Small cute cujo anyone?

  • About the fraternity brothers doing naughty things in the shower… are there pics?

    I have the chuckacabra background on my work computer. :op

  • Harv D.

    I’m glad I am not the only one who has problems with the use of the word awesome.

  • Charlotte

    I thought the thumbnail looked like a tiny golf course where the little spot of reflection was the hole. Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night (sick baby).

  • Such big teeth, eep!

    And yay to Leta for waving, my nephew knows how now but will only do it when he wants to. It is the cutest thing ever when he does it.

  • Would that make him Count Chuckula?

  • I was debating with myself (shhh, don’t tell anybody) whether that was a dog’s eye with tapedum lucidem reflecting light or an aerial view of your new, lighted jacuzzi.

    Chuch won out! Go Chuck!
    OF UTAH!!!!!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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