An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Leta, I promise I will pay for ALL of your therapy bills

  • Amy

    Just when you thought they couldn’t possibly come up with a new dessert…..


  • Annejelynn

    CHOMP! SLURP! Buurrp…

    Sorry, I just had to gobble her up whole! WAY WAY WAY TOOO CUTE! choco covered baby~ yum!

  • Your father could have used bugmenot. Yay for password/login sharing!

  • I’m wondering if that white chair she’s in is still white.

    I love that the comments always come around to poo (Bucky, Closet, Mrs.Striz – I’m looking at you). I have the biggest craving for chocolate icing and a buring desire to take a dump.

  • Congrats on surviving Leta’s first Birthday party!! For my Ella’s first, we threw a luau, with 50 people, some of whom travelled from around the country to be here for it. Talk about pressure. I finally unclenched after about 4 maitais. Luckily, we could have the party in the backyard-it was June. You are a FAR braver woman than I, to let 30 people into your house for a birthday party.

  • JP


  • JP

    So the cuteness that is Leta will have to step aside for just a bit so that I can mention the piece of heaven Tequila that is CORRALEJO. Snazzy blue bottle…THE BEST TEQUILA EVER. I’m not joking.

    I’ve learned a lot about tequila from the Latin Lover that I married…I’m just saying.

  • My mother used to put pancakes on my head and call them little edible berets. Then I had children and put pancakes on their heads. Everyone should start family traditions involving food on heads/faces. Way to go Dooce!

  • Going to read the article now… Just dropping in to say Happy Birthday, Leta; and to add you shouldn’t put post photos of chocolate-frosted babies, in case there are hungry pregnant women viewing, such as yours truly. Hee. Off to eat a danish…

  • I can just picture Chuck sitting underneath the high chair, twiching and convulsing from all the chocolate shrapnel he picked up. Happy Birthday (early) to you Leta!
    COngratulations Heather, you made it a year!

  • victoria, i was interviewed, twice for this article. but i was lead to believe that it wasn’t going to be so harsh on people who write about their children on their websites. i don’t think anyone who was interviewed for this article knew that it would be so harsh. that was what i was saying.

  • Erin

    It’s official…Leta is now edible. Praise to the chocolate frosting gods!

  • KTP

    Congratulations, Heather, on the NYT article. (By the way, the twist on the article kinda reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when Carrie was featured in an article as “Single..and Fabulous?” instead of “Fabulous!”) Anyway, my mom sent me the link to the article and it made me happy because thus far nobody I know even knows what a blog IS, much less do they actually take the time to read mine. Plus, I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and this article makes me feel like my favorite underground music just hit the top 40, and I can feel like I knew it first.

  • victoria

    Good God, the NYT TOTALLY leads the reader to believe that Heather was interviewed for that story, and that she is being quoted LIVE. I now no longer have faith in the hallowed NYT! If you can’t have faith in the NYT, you can’t have faith in ANY journalism, which means that . . . you have no trustworthy source of information except your own eyes and ears.

    I can’t describe how shocked I am by this. I had always trusted journalists to do their best to tell the truth, not mislead me into thinking that they had researched a story more thoroughly than in fact they had.

    I just can’t believe this. The NYT sacrificed accuracy for the sake of puffery . . . when they didn’t even NEED to: they could have just been honest about the fact that they were quoting from (although I don’t remember reading those statements here).

    In other words, they could have made the limits of their research explicit, without sacrificing ANY of the content of the story. But they chose to imply that they’d done more than they had to make themselves look like a better paper.

    What a sham. What a nakedly self-serving and pointless sham. They sacrificed journalistic integrity and the story gained nothing but the slight suggestion that its facts were better supported than in fact they were.

  • sue

    She is so cute

  • Holy MOSES that’s a lot of Google ad money!

    Nice that you’re doing something generous with it. But still… yikes. One bows one’s head in respect at the amount of traffic that must represent.

  • Mir

    Oh, Heather. That’s not a therapy-worthy picture. You have so much to learn, grasshopper. That picture is adorable. It’s the pictures of her naked with a potty on her head and such that merit therapy. This one hardly even requires an apology. 😉

  • Ms. Armstrong,

    if ever you want to refer someone to the NYT article, you can use this evergreen no-registration-required link:

    This is being made possible by the folks at

  • tpaquin

    Happy first birthday beautiful chocolate faced girl.
    Save some of your birthday loot for whoopie cushions and itching powder, then you can get mom back for the picture.

  • My husband saw the picture and noted that at our child’s first birthday party, we will not need to stage the cake-face if it takes after him. He has the amazing ability to get more of his meal on his face than in his mouth. Give him a piece if pizza, and half of it will end up somewhere between his nostrils and his hairline.

  • Dang cold…

    Nice way to start off a Monday morning in the office. Hope you all had a blast. 🙂

  • Michelle Brady

    That’s totally what my little girl looked like at *her* first birthday! It is a rite of passage.

    How adorable!

  • Dazed & Confuzed

    I didn’t register for the NY Times. I went to and entered the NY Times URL and they gave me a login and password. Glee!

  • kari g.

    mmmmmmm……yummy chocolatey cheeks. bet you just wanted to gobble her up!
    Happy 1st Leta!!

  • Ha! I just switched to Firefox and I can FINALLY!! see the numbers!! Sorry…just had to share that….

  • That’s a cute picture. She looks a little dazed and confuzed, as if to say “Um mom, what are you doing with the brown stuff?”.

    Great article in the NY Times.. just so I could read it I signed up. I hope they don’t send me ass loads of junk mail.

  • What a great picture!

    You know, had you not put icing all over her face, I’m sure whe would’ve done it herself.

    She’s got that “whatchoo lookin’ at” expression going on. As if having a face full of icing is the norm.

  • “mom, how could you DO this to me?”

  • Kate

    I remember one of the first 1st bdays I attended as an adult…

    The boy was sitting in his high chair, surrounded by expectant adults.
    An ENTIRE cake was placed before him.
    He looked up at the crowd with an un-understanding expression.
    He looked down at the cake.
    He looked up at the crowd again, just to be sure.
    Suddenly, his entire face was IN the cake.

    It was like the kid folded in half! There was no attempt on his part to bring parts of the cake up to his mouth, he literally DOVE IN.

    It was great!

  • Desi

    Haha, NYT, even. 🙂

    (Free sign up required to see the entire article on the NYT, but the picture is there on the front page before you have to sign up.)

  • Southern Fried Girl

    Oh my God, that has to be one of the most hilarious pics ever!!! Look at her little face under the icing. She looks so mild mannered about the whole thing.

  • Ted

    Great picture. The Leta stories are always good and hit home b/c our Louisa is one year old on January 30th. Thanks for writing. Louisa’s chocolate here:

  • my mom has pictures of me from my first birthday where i am sitting in my high chair in front of my cake, hysterically SCREAMING AND CRYING.

    i believe this set the precedent for many birthdays to come.

    really, i couldn’t handle all the attention – the cameras, the people staring at me, strapped into a mechanism from which there was NO ESCAPE.

    this is why i will never be a rock star.

    and this is also why, from the looks of that picture, that leta will be a ROCK STAR. or a chocolate-snorting freak, hanging out at bakeries, begging for another hit.

    ah, but i ramble.

    happy early birthday to leta!

  • Excellent picture on the online version of the NTY, too!

  • Tell her when she’s older that you did it to “clear up her pores”…or just that you were getting her ready for her hard partying college years. 🙂

  • Corrine

    From a parent with thousands of pictures of my own kid–this is one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen!

  • Cammie/Stacey

    On her first birthday, my daughter wanted nothing to do with her cake. I chose to not force her. I was happy to not have to clean a mess! My son, however… grabbed his cake and smooshed it in his fingers and dove face first into it. Must be a guy thing.
    And IMHO, Leta looks like her dad! 🙂

  • ashik

    You did this to her… and then, then …. you couldn’t resist the utter chocolatey cuteness and ate her whole! You monster! There better be more pictures of the child here tomorrow, or we will assume the worst!!

  • Em

    Ohmigod. The expression on her face is priceless.Like “WHAT is going on?”

    Funny. FUNNY.

  • She looks absolutely stunned. That’s great. 🙂 Happy birthday to the cutie!

  • bb

    You mean, she had to have you do that to her? I thought the logical progression would have been doing that to herself on her wee first birthday!

  • Aww, come on, it’s chocolate! She doesn’t mind a bit.

  • she seems to enjoy it!

    that is what cake is for!

  • hannah

    how does she do it? she just gets cuter. it’s unfair.
    and why don’t i look that cute with icing all over my face! there’s no fairness in the world.

  • Ryan’s Mom

    If you didn’t lick this off her head, you are beyond twisted.
    How cute!!

  • ha, brilliant! i just knew there’d be an after pic!

  • Ali

    Man, I want cake.

  • Erin

    Stella: Only in a HUGE 1/2 PAGE PICTURE on the cover of the lifestyle section, I think.

    There I was yesterday just standing there in Starbucks, waiting for my latte, glancing at the paper. Bombs, elections in Iraq, hmmmm…anything interesting in the other sections? HEY, THAT’S LETA! Great pic BTW!

  • you see what happens when you let her in the toilet?

    Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Thanks for calling yesterday, sorry I didn’t pick up.

  • Cristin


    Heather – my lil one, Katie, wants to know if I can set up a play date.

    seriously. She is now obsessed with Leta, after seeing her here and in the NYT, and wants me to send her pic, and invite Leta over to play with her barbies.

    she is just 5, by the way.

    Next time you’re in NJ, let me know.

    😛 I promised her, guys…..y’know?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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