An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Chris and Carol

  • mashed peas

    Love Leta’s hair!

  • Cristin

    rich (99) – (how cool is it that I can now see the numbers, okay-dork bleating over)anyway, rich, CUTE PIC!!

    Heather, how adorable! How long did it take her to start ripping the ponytail out?

    an Dang, you never offer me cheese or wine.

  • Torrie

    That picture just made my night. Thank you.

  • toooooooooooooo funny.

    and it looks like she knows it is bad and is trying to pull it out.


  • oh yeah! We just started doing the same thing. click my name

  • omg I LOVE HER HAIR!

  • i guess i should specify: I love Leta’s hair! so adorable

  • kelc_in_OZ

    Leta is so cute!

    She looks just like pebbles.

  • Just floss it Girl A.

  • Wow, look at how much Leta is looking like you now, Heather. The hair is adorable!

  • I like “Lusterine” without the typo correction. Maybe they oughta make a pink variety & start bottling it. With as pricey as normal Listerine can be, they could make a killing!

    (calms down)

  • That pic is cute, is she trying to rip the thing out? The one where she is sideways and has on and top AND in the back is the BEST!!! Next…blue eyshadow and to much blush!

    And don’t cut it! Jeez only boy babies need a trim (and thats when they are older and have been called she one to many times)

  • Dang Cold..

    I’ve noticed that its a 3 pronged pony tail. Very cute. She looks content in the other pics. As for fixing typos I give up. What was I gibbering about in #68?

    ah well.

  • Listerine? If you kill the germs, where’s the adventure in that thar pussy?

  • That’s L*i*sterine.
    I always think it’s funny when people go back and fix their little typos.

    Dammit, couldn’t even get number 86.

  • Bucky, I like altoids instead of massengil. That douche crap messes up the delicate balance of the cooter.

    Or Lusterine, if you’re in a bind… or into pain.

    Love the photo of Leta. Don’t trim her hair. Fuck ’em, those controlling assholes who have to project what they want on every child in the universe.

  • Although it is EXTREMELY cute, Frog Princess does not look amused. Leta aka Pebbles – tee hee.

  • Jeanette

    I can’t stop giggling at the picture of Leta with her hair in a ponytail. Is that a ponytail? *giggle* I think she’s even wondering what in the hell it is. *giggle*

  • My gyno told me he once had to extract a perfume bottle that was pretty wickedly wedged into a vagina.

    Didn’t the crazy bitch ever hear of Massengill?

  • Lmao Bucky

    If it smells like cologne leave it alone

  • I don’t see a new masthead…???

  • Oh, i see it now. What? you gotta comment to see it? very cool, tho.

  • Enumerated! Holy Fuckmaster Flash. Dammit.

    The virgin 69 is already taken.

  • Can you IMAGINE of it was half full and the top was *off*. That would be super nasty. As opposed to regular A1 anal nasty.

  • Yawn

    Woman Lover, everyone “heard” you. Perhaps you didn’t hear Dang Cold’s reply, which was very polite and accurate.

    And I don’t think anyone’s sorry.

  • Okay, I’ve been mulling this whole A1 bottle thing.
    With the lid on or the lid off?
    And was it pretty close to empty? ‘Cause that stuff ain’t cheap, and I can’t see usin’ it again after, you know. . .the impromptu colonoscopy.

  • woman lover

    Maybe not everyone heard what I said.

    I’ve been vindicated. dooce IS into ANAL SEX!!!!

    When I suggested that very sexual practice after child birth, people jumped all over me. Now are you sorry?

    Beach gal, where are you?

  • tallulah

    LOVE the new masthead! Your coolness is neverending. And it’s a small thing, but yeah, I dig being able to see the numbers now.

  • Dang Cold..


    the absence of numbers shouldn’t have stopped you from joining the party. Have a seat..

    *dang cold passes elsewhere a cheese tray and signals the waiter to bring over a glass of red wine*

  • Dang Cold..

    Maeby said at 01:48PM, 02.13.2005:
    How come you don’t have ugly friends? I have ugly friends…
    im an ugly friend….
    you have pretty friends


  • Last time I saw a tongue like that I was…well, better not.

  • Hey! I can see the comment numbers now! I emerged from lurkerdom to celebrate.

  • RazDreams

    wooohooo!!! numbers!!! finally!!! for us non-MAC users. i feel so important.

  • I just came from, and jesus christ, heather, your tongue rivals gene simmons.

  • Dang Cold..

    Jess from B-Lo

    in’t my intent to criticize. Was just pointing it out & comparing the quality of the pics with the 2 different camera’s. My comment was in response to romy’s question in #43. At least I think what number he was at I can’t see them. I had actually missed your first post.

  • Dang Cold..

    bless you susie 🙂

    caster blaster – well it is isn’t it? 😛

  • AndiMAC

    OMG yay, I finally got the comments thing. I tried all last night and couldnt get it to go. I love your blog. Thanks for writing it. And Chuck is the coolest dog ever!

  • Maeby

    How come you don’t have ugly friends? I have ugly friends…
    im an ugly friend….
    you have pretty friends

    im just kidding, i dont have any friends..but if i did they probably wouldnt all be pretty lke yours…

  • People are always so willing to criticize. I can read perfectly well the caption under the picture, but thanks anyway.

  • oh my god, have you copyrighted ‘dork’? do i owe you royalties now, or do i simply have to go back and change all my spellings?

  • coralie

    Love the new masthead.

  • thank you dang, i was beginning to worry about my monitor. no explosions imminent makes for a much better sunday. 😉

  • Amy

    Woman – that masthead rocks the doocery. You never cease to deliver the goods! 🙂

  • I’m 28 and still haven’t had chicken pox.. seriously getting scared here that I’ll get them when I’m 70 and die.

    “Using your words”.. I was a preschool teacher for a while and we had a sibling pair from an obviously disturbed and unhappy home. The little boy had a mouth that would make a sailor blush.. parents started coming in and asking where their precious 3-year-old learned the word ‘motherfucker’. Ha.

    I think the best time was early in the morning right after school opened and parents were dropping their kids off. This little boy walked past a parent with her daugher in her arms and casually said, “Hey, bastard.”

  • Caster Blaster


    Not used to seeing the word ‘tongue’ in conjunction with ‘clear as a mountain lake’…

  • Susie

    Dang, I invoked your name this morning. Husband and I were listening to Neil Young’s greatest hits while housecleaning. That is, WE were housecleaning, I don’t think Neil Young was cleaning house when he recorded it, but anyhow, I said, “Dang would like this . . . “

  • Liar liar pants on fire! You didn’t take that with a Nikon D70! 😉

    Heather states in the comment below the pic that the photo was taken with Jon’s phone not the Nikon D70.

    Yes true but on the link to the photo page it says ‘with a d70’! 🙂

    Nice.. I prefer the d70 pics though.

  • Heather, your tongue! It’s so loooong! I’m totally intimidated. Eep.

  • Nap time

  • I love those cell camera pictures. The fuzzy/grainy makes them look like something taken in haste and secrecy by a wartime resistance movement.

    “Authorities have obtained this image of Chris and Carol, believed to be leaders in the B.P.U.”*

    *Blog Parent Underground

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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