An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Henryk_

    Who the poor bugger thats got to go and get the plunger and unclog it all??!!

  • Henryk_

    ok, ok, don’t all volunteer all at once!

  • Harry

    the silence was deafening. Almost 11:30 Sun….time to rest the head!

  • I don’t mean to be judgemental here, but there’s only *one* activity I can think of that causes that amount of hair to grow from one’s palms.

    For shame, Jon. Better check your eyesight while you’re at it.

  • R

    Holy Chewbacka!

  • Ewww…

  • p-hawk

    As a bald man, I must protest this bold display of casualness toward hair. Hair is a resource that must be protected, not flung aside like a condom wrapper.

  • haha, p-hawk!

    everyone loves a baldy. 😉

  • k (a pseudonym to protect the innocent)

    tangent jump:
    just read on another blog *”ten things I’ve done that you probably havent”* – I thought it would make a great topic for this gang.

    Here are mine:

    1- fallen UP a flight of stairs without spilling my drink.
    2- drove 25 hours listening to the entire Ring cycle and didnt kill anyone
    3- lost my virginity to identical twins (one gentleman had an appendectomy scar, otherwise, IDENTICAL)
    4- played out a real-life version of COPS in San Diego when my cop roommate (dressed in leather pants, no shoes and no shirt) stops the car in the middle of the street, grabs a gun and gives me the handcuffs as we run down the street after some criminal he knew. (side note – we were on our way home from the bar where he was just voted “Gay Man of the Year” – I was the only woman in there)
    5- I’ve sat in Placido Domingos kitchen chatting with his wife as she cooks a group of 6 of us dinner.
    6- I have lived in every state of the US except for 5 of them.
    7- once I traveled to Virginia to work for 3 months and on a night off, went to see a show. At the bar, 5 of us women were waiting for drinks and idly chatting – in the ensuing conversation we figured out that we all had slept with the same man.
    8- Drove 17 hours with a singer and only played The Smiths and Morrissey for the entire trip – we sang along to every song, harmonizing in 3rds and 5ths.
    9- have lived 40+ years without ever hearing the words “you are pretty/beautiful”
    10- have changed a car tire in high heels.

  • k:
    First, just because it’s about damned time, and because even if it’s not true right this moment, it has been true at some point, and will be again: You are beautiful.

    Now, I may not really want to know the answer to this but how is #3 possible? I mean, the actual event of the “loss” can only happen once, unless . . .

  • Im picturing a bald Jon as the new,caucasion Isaac Hayes.

    Jon Armstrong: LDS’s White Moses of Soul.

  • Whooooah! I hope he hasn’t lost ALL his geek powers after this!

  • Jon looked better clean-shaven, no question.

  • k

    susie – do you REALLY want the details? and just so we stay somewhat on topic for the pic – does this mean Jon shaved his beard too?

  • Maybe not, k; I’m a leetl skirred.

  • Was that formerly a gerbil?

  • if that is heathers hair, why is there a male looking hand playing with it? I think it is not her hair.
    we just have to wait and see.

  • Looks like Sasquatch trimmed his pubes in your bathroom.

  • Samson, shorn

    Will the next picture be of Dooce gluing it back on?

    I wonder if wine had something to do with this..

  • DJF, let me be the first to say .. eeeewwww!

    Thanks.

  • MamaPajama

    I hope that’s Jon’s hair or beard. I don’t think Heather cuts her own hair.

  • Poor Chuck. You went and shaved off all his hair didn’t you? I can’t wait to hear what Mouse has to say about this.

    Virry min.

  • cmj

    That *has* to be the beard, doesn’t it? No, after looking again it doesn’t appear to be the right texture for facial hair. I hope we get to see the “after” photo soon. Oh, the suspense…the suspense!

  • dänika

    Halt! Is that Moveable Type hair I spy?

  • A poem:

    Men always have the beautiful hair. And it’s not fair.

    (Give me a break – I just woke up.)

  • Wow, did Jon shave his melon? Sweet.

  • LeChico

    SPRING’S HERE!!!!!!!!!!
    welcome back clean shaven jon!

  • You could make a nice hairpiece for the Chuckster with that; Mouse would be so jelis.

  • That much hair in a sink freaks me out. Get out the Swiffer.

  • Jon,

    My dad scared the beejesus out of me once when I was kid. I was a latch key kid and one day when I got home, some dude was laying on the floor watching tv in is skiveys. Turns out it was my dad. He had a full beard for 2 years and one day decided to cut it off and get a hair cut. He had parked his truck in the back so I had no idea that he was home. I was afraid to go in the house, because I saw him thru the window before I opened the door.

    how did leta take it???

  • Seeing all that hair makes me wanna cough. Now I feel all itchy. Damn – gotta go take a shower now.

    Thanks Dooce.

  • AHHH HAIR!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

  • I have straight pubic hair. Really.

  • GK

    That’s more than beard shavings! So I guess Jon lost a bet?

  • heather-
    please dont’ post things like this again. i’m totally freaked out. all that hair makes me shudder. i don’t know why, but now i’m scared.

  • All I know is that I hope that came from his head.

  • Andrea in Canada

    Chuck (my husband, not our favorite doggie) and I are trying and trying to figure this out…too much to be a beard we thought…definitely not hair from Leta…Heather, did you go short?

  • Is Jon going for the Michael Stipe look? Ooooo, he’s going to be chilly.
    I don’t get so freaked by the long hair in the sink as I do the short little dirty-looking hairdust caked with toothpaste.

    Or that scary shitmist.

  • very funny kerry (#10)! good thing he’s an ex! torrey (#83) – tmi!

  • That is totally head hair.

    All I know is I hope he shaved off his stache and kept the beard, thats oh so St.Pattys day.

  • Stacey

    Just when Leta started gettin hair… lol

  • Maybe someones butt got shaved.

    Poor chuck

  • Em

    So is he bald with the scrumptious beard now? He must look interesting.

  • Colleen (#88), have you been in my bathroom? OK, I’m gonna go clean it now …

  • K,

    Five things I’ve done that you probably haven’t:

    1. Grew up in a third world country (till age of 17) completely biligual in English and Spanish, without hot water or air conditioning or a dishwasher or a disposal. We did have a maid, though. And cable.
    2. Experienced the joys of teargas at the tender age of 9.
    3. Smoked pot about fifteen times throughout my life. Didn’t get high once. Finally I ate it at the age of 27, and I now know what the big deal is.
    4. Defeathered, cleaned, cooked, and ate a bird my cat caught once. It seemed like a waste not to at the time. In case you’re wondering, it was too dry.
    5. Landed a plane.

    I can’t think of more than that, though I’m sure there are more. It’s just too damn early right now. Thanks, K, for the idea.

  • -n

    Could it be George!’s hair?

  • AndiMAC

    I have a great product for stopped up sinks thats especially for hair clogs. I got it at home depot I think.

  • LordGoon

    How very appealing. And just before I was about to eat lunch. Perhaps your next photograph could be of a recently spotted piece of roadkill, or a bodily excrescence or two?

  • That looks like the amount of hair we cut off Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog when she’s about due. But that’s not Chuck fuzz.

  • Michelle Brady

    I seem to remember one of Heather’s friends having a dog named Samson. I don’t think there’s any secret meaning behind “Samson, Shorn.” I think it just means Samson the Dog got shaved.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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