An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Finally an outfit to go with the hat

  • I gots no Rolos. How could I make them?

  • I think I came here last August, but it was many months before I said anything.

  • Ah, to go back to the days when I could just post my comment and leave, oblivious and unattached to the bleacher section.

  • My husband keeps asking me why I let the baby hold my wallet in the checkout line. Now, I can finally tell him, “I’m trying to maintain world peace!!!!”

  • Chocolate! Yum!
    Fuck! I have none!

    I have a half bag of Chipits chocolate chips, they’s semi sweet but will do in a pinch. Ow!

  • Just one, please. That wormy girl’s not here is she?

    (I’m not hatin’, just expressing a preference for no worm talk when I’m eating Rolos.)

  • Susie, stop or you’ll make me cry again. I’ve got some Rolos here, thawed. Want some?

  • And yes, I’m not afraid to admit that I have feelings and I cried when I saw all the geezers come out to say they were leaving.

  • Hey Amy! Yes, MIFfy comforts me at times of sorrow and loneliness.

  • She can be a real bitch, though. She takes out her shit on me.

  • Matt Damon’s nice, too. mrtl, girl, you and I could eat some candy together:)

  • Scrumptious Bearded

  • Aw, aren’t you sweet? Both of ya’ll, I mean.

  • Big Frog feet

  • mrtl lmao at you and your ‘friend’. You guys seem really good together.

  • But what about Matt Damon?

  • Susie, I’m glad you haven’t been skirred away, too. You’re a ray of sunshine here.

  • The Former Congressman Chuckles

  • Oh! Amanda B.! You’re here. I just came and read all this mess, and went looking around other places, saddened by the drama that had gone on, and I got to your place and WANTED to comment that your post was perfect. Funny and so true; made me feel better. That’s what I wanted to say, but Blogger wouldnt’ let me. Burglar Jon!

  • Rectalage!

    (Where’s RazDreams? She’s the keeper of the current t-shirt phrasing.)

  • Libraryhill


  • … I can start…

    Of France!!!!

  • Oh, Amanda B.! We’re spending a reflective moment here, talking about the good things Dooce has done for us. Have anything to share?

  • Here here! (You’re drinking for me, too, right?)

  • Mrtl- you are so funny. 😀

  • I don’t know about that, MIFfy. You know how I get after two. Besides, I’m trying to get some work done. Don’t want no yucked up programming on the company’s web site, you know? You can just have some of mine, old buddy.

  • I think you’re right, MIFfy. You’re not too eloquent, but I think you’re right.

    Cheers to Dooce!

  • Don’t be so sure about that, mrtl.

    To answer your question… It’s all about Dooce, you know? Dooce brings us all together, and just like a family, there are outcasts and ones that you really don’t want to see or talk to at the reunions, but you kind of have to be there together for the common good.

    Honestly, even with all the fond and sad farewells seen here today, I think they’ll be back. They may just be stopping in, maybe even incognito, to show their love for the Dooce.

  • Yeah – I just fucked (43) that one up. My cover’s blown. I’m talking to myself again. I feel like Mouse now.

  • I’m here for you, honey.

  • Thanks MIFfy! I was starting to get worried. I’m about halfway through the beer and no one had responded.

    Have you read the comments today? Some fucked (42) up shit, don’t you think? And even the geezers came out to have their say. What do you think about it all?

  • I’m going to have a beer. Anyone with me? (I don’t like to drink alone.)

  • Dude, I’m about to go all Eeyore up in this beeyotch.

  • Donni,

    That’s what I’ve been thinking all along!

  • Sigh.

    TOB, I miss all those people too. That’s why I loved the comments section so much. Now they all have gone away. 🙁

  • Attack Parent

    Someone once called my assertive daughter a “Samurai Toddler,” said admiringly so it seemed cool.

    Having 2 kids in under 2 years, the comment I always get in public is, “You’ve got yer hands full!” Uh, NO SHIT.

    Once I was getting self-conscious as a guy watched our antics in Starbucks. Then, he chose to say, quietly & sincerely, “You’re very lucky.” Aw. I still get farklemt. (You Gentiles, think “Coffee Talk with Linda Richman” on SNL.)

  • RCA (heh) – I know. It sucks. *Mean people suck* and not in a good way.

    Ah well, at least we still have the archives when we get nostalgic.

    The Old Broad – over and out.

  • Manic

    uh, I haven’t read comments, but I am sure I will get killed for this one:

    Heather – here’s a blank check, GO BUY A SENSE OF HUMOR!

  • Fish – SO good to see your name round these parts once again!!

    Hi everyone! I’m a long-time reader (July of last year), but I rarely comment because I don’t have all that much to say. I just enjoy Heather’s writing as well as the camraderie (sp?) and community spirit those in the comments section had.

    There have been many days when I’ve laughed so hard at all the wackiness going on here that my belly just ached. There have been other days when life decided to chomp me in the ass and I’ve just needed the friendliness around here to remind me that it still existed somewhere in the world.

    However, it seems lately that the good times are few and far between. Oh, it starts out good, with someone tossing a monkey around or someone else HONKING, but soon the trolls come out of the woodwork and the flame wars start, and it makes me sad. Can’t anyone play nice anymore?

    I have to agree w/ you Amanda B…I think maybe the time has come for the next wave of Doocelings to take over.


    So, with that I tip my hat to all the “old” regulars – Fish (and your many disguises), Dr. Johnny, Closet Metro, Dang Cold, Girl A, Amanda B, Carol (Part timer), Shiz, Mrs. Strizz, Mrs. George 2, Big Gay Sam, The Mighty Jimbo, Colleen from NJ, Sue from Ohio, La Pixiatrix, Kristine, Bucky 4 Eyes, LadyBug, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone (sorry) not intentional! I’ll stop by your blogs and say hi sometime.

  • RazDreams

    ditto 464 and especially (and sadly) 497. oh, and 536 as a finale. call me when the hate’s gone.

  • Absolutely donni. Sometimes things wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t for the drama and flair. That’s one of the things that makes Dooce such a kick-ass writer.

  • donni

    Doesn’t anyone ever think that Heather just might be exaggerating her frustration/anger at certain situations just for comedy’s sake??? And people take it way too seriously? Just a thought…

  • Libraryhill

    Yeah, go give the Doc some love during his self-declared “de-lurk” day. Me thinks it was a total hit.

  • Libraryhill

    We are all de-lurking at the Dr’s house (blog).

  • k meet you there

  • Hello my dooce kittens. How’s the temperature in here now?

    Still HAWT?

  • Ummm, where is the love?

  • Having an attack-baby is highly underrated. See, if Chuck nipped somebody, it would raise your homeowner’s insurance and you’d have a “vicious dog,” but it Leta bites someone, it’s “teething.” Quelle advantage, no?

  • Can I still be a Canadian with my low tolerance for alcohol? I’m easy even when I’m sober, so hopefully that balances it out.

    (Oh, Budzo, I so look forward to our rendezvous)

  • Fish, why do I suddenly want to serenade you with “The Wind Beneath My Wings”?

    You are missed around these parts my friend. I don’t want my Girl A. to stop coming around here either. But I think maybe the “elders” time has passed, and that’s ok.

    I would hate to see become “about” the comment section. When we commented in olden times, we were hear because we were big fans of Heather’s writing. We still are. I guess maybe ask yourself why you are commenting? Is it just to be seen? Of couse it is on some level, but you know what I mean. I think that’s when things get wierd and out of whack.

    We have all taken up for Heather at one point or another, and I guess what we’ve learned is that telling the troll that they are an asshole usually just makes things worse. Also it’s important to pick your battles.

    Anyhoo, I love you Fishypants and Girl A. and I’m sorry Nicole that you got yelled at. Could you smack Girl A. on the ass for me? Thaaaanks.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more