An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Mari

    Run, Chuck, Run! She can’t keep up!

  • jp

    That poor, poor dog. The sacrifices for human contact. That is one good dog, I can’t believe he hasn’t taken a tiny pudgy finger off yet. Sister Zion looks like my mother, cold and harsh. She needs a hug.

  • EyeDigress

    Hopefully, you were just throwing any old food in there….but raisins are toxic for dogs. If not then no more raisins for Chuck.

  • Poor baby Chuck. I keep my cousins away from my dog. My pup’s patient, but those little monsters can cause severe mental anguish.

  • The best puppies are pillow puppies, but princess puppies work pretty good too. You should totally dress them in matching outfits for halloween. I bet it would be the talk of the neighborhood.

  • Henryk_

    Lola…….is that like in…L O L A Lola!

  • HarryR

    I met her in a club down in old Soho
    Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola
    See-oh-el-aye cola
    She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
    I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
    El-oh-el-aye Lola la-la-la-la Lola

  • Re: post and thus clicking the link to the pictures of the dog dressed up thus the 27-week old pregnant stomach…

    …that’s what I look like after a hearty sized burrito.

    That should be cause for concern, no?

  • Good for Lola! If only she could relax and enjoy the freedom!

  • Henryk_

    Happy Tuesday to all of youse!

  • zion, is that one of them thar planets they have in moron? zion, moron, i get all them planets confused with mormon. and why on earth would a religion have a place called MORON? now that’s asking for it.


    I’m hung like a horse.

  • jb

    Southern Fried – well the day that they invent being able to give them away call me up!!! Haha

  • Real name: Fudge Sucker

    Internet name: The One-Eyed Ogre???

    Pretty funny, since second is based on the first.

  • LT

    southern fried girl – AMEN! from one big boobed girl to another… I feel your pain.

  • My sister has boobs the size of her head and she always says she has to hire contractors to build a bra for them.

  • she looks very, verrrry mormon.

  • southern – isn’t it true? The grass is always greener and all that. Imagine life as a surfboard. That’s me.

  • First?

  • Big Gay Sam

    Hook him up with me. I have big ol’ boobies. There’s hair on ’em but I can always shave.


  • lol southern fried, hookin up hubby with a rich boobie lady….every guys dream.

  • southern fried girl – you are certainly a better person than I. I would keep the boob job for myself.

  • southern fried girl

    K –

    So not noble. I already have a rack that is such a giant pain in the ass. Trust me, if I could loan them out to girls who are not as “blessed” I SO WOULD. Not even loan – give give give. Y’all can have the bras with straps so big in the back that it requires four hook thingies. How come well hung men do not have to wear undies with big fat straps????

  • Lordy, I love your Aunt Lola!


  • southern fried girl

    I married a fireman. A noble profession. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? Oh, and get this, a fireman with a greedy ass ex-wife and two kids to support. (The ex is greedy, not the kids.) My second husband will be rich and sans baggage. The current husband totally understands. I told him I would hook him up with a chick with some $$$ with big boobies. I mean, it’s only fair.

  • I once said, in my misguided youth, that I would marry a doctor, because I wanted to marry rich. I’m quite sure that the karma gods are laughing their asses off at me as I help put my awesome blossom husband through school… to get his PhD. In psychology.

    Ah, the fates, they are hilar, are they not?

  • Marry rich….its just as easy to fall in love with a rich guy as it is a poor guy. You can learn to love him. I havent found the rich guy yet, or the love part either. So, I guess Im so not the one to answer that.

  • Not being shallow is totally overrated, marry rich, party hard.

  • kat

    I need an Aunt Lola.

  • southern fried girl

    Someone…..ANYONE…..explain to me why this day is so GOD DAMN LONG? Also, remind me again why I did not marry rich so that I could be sitting my dead ass at home right now instead of here in this hell pit? Other than the whole, not being shallow thing. I want concrete answers, people.

  • Dooce, thank you for the story about Aunt Lola. That was great. I wonder if she appreciates it as much?

  • Whoa. That is one SERIOUS looking statue.

  • Lauri

    About Aunt Lola . . . certainly you were wearing your “I’m blogging this” t-shirt, right???

  • Maeby

    cheekbones to DIE for

  • Wow Lawbrat I think I would want to be the Backroom Baller before the prison Goo Gobbler anyday…

  • Im with you on that Jessica! Just call me Backroom Baller….

  • Just call me…Mayonnaise Queen!!

  • Sister got that Dorthy Hamil look going on.

  • OMG…my ‘prison bitch’ names are:
    real name… Goo Gobbler
    Lawbrat… backroom baller

    WTF? Both sexual names….

    keep that broom stick away from me!!

  • Nair on a Nappy hole, now that sounds scary. The burning! The rotten egg smell, and that nair smells bad too…

    FJAW huh. Hmmmm sorta like the J.LO of prison. Watch out bitches here comes the F.Jaw awww yeah.

    I think I can live with it.

  • Nappy Hole…um, may I suggest Nair?
    I kinda like Famous Jessica the Anus Wanker. It has a nice, um, ring to it, and you could abbreviate:

    Going home now, all you prison bitches!


    Cream of Meat, aka BF Goodlick, aka BF Dodgewrench

  • Bucky, Cream of Meat? Really? Oh man, I am so totally calling you that from now on. I’ll be all smooth and like, Hey whats up Cream? Hows my main meat?

    Hey, Nick is Nappy Hole so dont feel too bad.

  • Well, I have had other parts of my body be semi-famous but, well, not my butt.

    I think mixing them up would prolly be a good start so maybe I should go with, Famous Jessica the Anus Wanker.

    Yes? Yes?

  • 3 dollar bill

    This is what i am at…

    that is using my real name, i kind of like it!

  • giggles

    Happy Monday all!

  • moswyn


  • Dawn


  • KellBell


  • el Greco

    Happy Easter Monday!

  • MCR

    Top 10?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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