An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Chuck doing his best impersonation of Marilyn Monroe

  • If only Marilyn could’ve cured the Seven-Year Itch with Advantix…

  • That is the beauty and content look of a dog with comfortably empty anal sacs.

  • Thanks, Katie-be-bored-at-work. That was going to drive me nuts. :o)

  • Month 14! Time flies, little lady Leta is growing up so cute and looking more like both her parents. and those eyes! I have a new internet crush, but not in a weird way, more in the way OF FRANCE!!!!

  • Vaida

    Katie, you should try the coffee and Dooce at the same time! It’s a winner. I wonder if I should change my name to Vaida-be-bored-at-work?

  • Aw La Pix, it’s back to the anal sacs, and the expression of same.
    Gives a whole new meaning to the song “Express Yourself”
    (wouldn’t that be hard to reach?)

  • Hey, what does Leta’s shirt say…I definately read DOOCE on it but can’t tell what else it says. Branding your children…tsk.tsk. Beautiful letter, brought tears to my eyes and Leta is absolutely gorgeous!

    Love the pic of Chuck, makes my week not seem as long because now I don’t have to wait 4 MORE DAYS to see Chuck! Yay!

  • I guess it depends on whether or not you are bored at work. Or you could be “Vaida-be-chugging-coffee-and-reading-Dooce”.

  • I wrote earlier that I think it is says Product of Blurbodoocery, or some such.

  • Oops, just read the other comments, thanks Katie for reading my mind and answering before I could ask.

    Gotta stop that premature commenting.

  • I think Leta’s shirt says “Product of the Blurbodoocery” or something like that.

  • That’s what I get for not having time or inclination to read the comments!


  • Vaida


  • a fan in Wisconsin

    First time commenter, long time reader. Heather, you are so gifted. As a writer and especially as a Mother. Leta will cherish these newsletters. You are an extraordinary person–your ability to acknowledge human-ness is refreshing. Your style of parenting will insure that Leta is filled with self esteem and a positive outlook on life. I applaud your outlook on many things and appreciate your continuing honesty. You really need to write a book–you have an incredible gift with words!!

  • Vaida

    WOW. I couldn’t agree more with a fan in Wisconsin. That takes the cake for compliment of the year!

    Today was my first day in the comment section to fan in Wisconsin. Can I call ya’ Wiskey?

  • becaru

    Chuck, trying desparately to look as cute as Leta.

  • marie

    anyone have a clue what the blue thing is that leta has in her mouth?
    i am also “bored-at-work” and speculating on leta’s shirt and the contents of her mouth is WAY more interesting than working!

  • Let’s take a headcount – how many of us are bored-at-work? I know I am definitely bored at work. Come on people – HOLLA!!!

  • thanks for putting up more pictures of the almighty Chuckles!

  • Vaida

    HOLA from Vaida. SNORE!

    Maybe it’s a mini travel toothbrush!!

  • Disgruntled and Cynical

    Seriously, people. Do we really freakin’ care what is in the child’s mouth? I certainly don’t. And she’s cute- but gorgeous? I mean, that’s a term I could only apply to 14 month olds that I really love or am very close to- not some child thousands of miles away who’ve I’ve never met. Just a little over the top I think.

    And I like reading Heather’s entries usually as they’re funny and irreverant and all of that good stuff, but am getting a little weirded out about reading her letters to her daughter which should be for her daughter and not posted as evidence of her maternal affections for the rest of us.

  • I’m not bored at work, but at home. Does that count? I shouldnt be bored. I just dont feel like studying!!

    Yeah Chuck! Its not even Chuck Friday; or is it?

  • Okay, Vaida, you are officially Vaida-be-bored-at-work! And I think that might be a toothbrush, too!

  • Yawn! Count me in as being bored at work! Thanks goodness I have ya’ll for entertainment!

  • Vaida

    Dear Digruntled & Cynical,
    You’re name is fitting.

  • Vaida

    Correction: YOUR name….Forgive my typo. I was distraced by WORKING.

  • Vaida

    ANOTHER typo!!! YIKES. I think I should be done for the day with this.

  • I think its a toothbrush also KBBAW

  • Muffy

    Wow. It only took 121 comments until the “I’m bored, so I think I’ll harrass and belittle others for their thoughts and musings” people come out of their dark little holes. I am a VERY sarcastic person (to know me is to debate about something topical for at least an hour or until I win – I usually win) but I would NEVER criticize (unless criticism was being sought – it is part of a creative process, and appropriate in that respect). D & C and others like should find a different forum than this to vent their feelings. That’s my 2 cent rant, and I totally stand by it.

  • If I ever make it up to Utah – I am soooo going to dognap chuckles – he’s tooooooo cute!

  • Win

    Dooce, you know what you do with stories like today’s?

    You wind my biological clock so tight it threatens to shake itself apart.

  • Muffy….shhh….maybe if we ignore ’em, they’ll go away….

  • Doesn’t usually work Jenie, but it’s worth a shot. Anyway, it is good to see that Leta is already practicing good dental hygiene.

  • Disgruntled and Cynical

    Well, I’m stickin’ by it too, Muffy.

  • I love those newsletters. Dooce writes in such a way that almost every mom relates. The good, the bad, and the button pushing!

  • Am I the only sensible one here?

    Hey guys, ever notice how Heather doesn’t come in here and chat with you and how she probably doesn’t read your blogs? Hmmm….

  • Disgruntled and Cynical

    Hi, I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. It’s my time of the month and I haven’t gotten any for quite some time. Ignore all my previous and future comments.

  • Muffy

    To Sensible and Cynical, you both have small points, to a degree, and all I’m going to say is…there is something for everyone in this world. That’s why we have indie films, 4,000 flavor combinations at Starbucks, and you can even make Eminem your rington (for 3 dollars). Hey,its a free world. But I just don’t understand the logic of the “caped commenters”, who fly in and drop their ugliness on us weirdos in Dooceland who have found their spot on the beach. Kick sand somewhere else. I’m trying to catch some rays. You’re in my light.

  • Yeah, i’m trained.
    See Chuck…think it’s Friday.

  • Vaida

    Can’t we all just get along?? I’m on the beach too. Who is bringing me a margarita?

  • Oh wow… What a wonderful monthly newletter!! You have such a way with words. Happy 14 Month Birthday Leta!!

  • “I’m so confused!” said in my best Vinnie Barbarino voice.

    I didn’t know it was Friday already.

    Please tell me you know who Vinne Barbarino is.

  • Cynical yet Sensible

    It’s difficult not to notice the dynamic that goes on in here- ass-kissing of Heather, imitation of Heather, dreaming of Heather and her child, create-your-own-blogs-in-which-your-language-is-strikingly-similar-to-Heather’s, drool over a semi-cute baby, etc.

    How do any of you know I’m a woman- so that saying “I’m on my period” could even be relevant?

  • I would personally like a Corona. Look at that whacko dude in the Speedo over there!

  • Muffy

    Understandable, Disgruntled. I’ve got the rottweiller on my ovaries today as well. I have to have my wedding dress fitted in two days, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’m not a bloated, bridezilla mess. (PS to ALL…You are witnessing a KINDER and GENTLER Muffy. I’d usually burn these people, but I’m feeling good. It’s spring, I’m in love, and I’ve found a website where I can talk about poop. I could die tomorrow.)

  • There is nothing semi-cute about Leta – she is 100% Ovary-Knocking Grade-A adorableness. At least in my ass kissing opinion.

  • Wedding dress fitted, and that time of the month! Here’s a water pill for you.

  • I like you, Muffy. That is all.

  • Vaida

    D&C: Katie & I are having Coronas. (I changed my mind.) Do you want one? You need one. Maybe two.

  • Muffy is great. She is my Ranchwagon buddy. June 9th, Muffy, I’m coming to PA, and we will meet for that “hoddog”. I am drooling thinking of it. Mmmmm.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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