An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Slow shutter speed or fairies on speed?

  • Muffy, when you mentioned Ricketts Glen, I had flashbacks. Although I never tripped on acid there, or anywhere really, since I was totally scared away from drugs by the D.A.R.E. program. We used to camp at Ricketts Glen.

  • That’s just silly. You don’t fry rat faeces in bacon grease. Spoils the flavour. You grill them with onions and mushrooms.

  • ashik

    nilbo – family recipe?

  • No, you fry bacon in rat faeces. Tremendous flavor.

  • I am all for challenging and torturing children for my amusement.

    Have you ever given a baby a lemon?
    Now THAT’S entertainment.

  • I like the photos, Dooce.

    The important question, though, is this:

    _Did Lola done remembered her panties this time? _

  • LOL Torrie! My youngest LOVES lemons. Everytime we go to the grocery store he wants one of those plastic lemons with the juice. HE. DRINKS. IT. What the hell did I spawn?

  • Very cool dashboard lights.

  • oh god, Nilbo that’s just sick, I’m regretting that slim jim I had earlier. I wonder how many rat turds are in mystery meat.
    If you were ever to read the ingredients on a can of potted meat you would never eat it again. Animal byproducts?! Rat turds.

  • Yeah … family recipe – if you’re the Manson family.

  • Yeah, Torrie. That is definitely fun. But it is equally fun to sneak tasty food to babies, too. Especially when their parents don’t want you to. I gave my 4 month old niece a taste of vanilla ice cream and the sheer look of glee on her face was priceless. I felt like I was breaking the law, or something.

  • Damn, that is kind of a freaky pic you got going on..I need me one of them there expensive cameras so I can take some pics like that.

  • Hi Lawbrat!

    Hi Nilbo! Long time no see…and that “recipe” just about sent my stomach over the edge. Haven’t felt that urpy since about a year ago in my first trimester of pregnancy :p

  • BTW, my kitty is home.
    Thank you to everone who sent good vibes his way.

  • Katie BBAW – Children under 12 months aren’t supposed to have cow’s milk. Their tummies can’t process it like an adult’s can. _That’s_ why they can’t have ice cream. It’s not the sugar. It’s the milk. The initial glee your niece felt may have been followed by some serious tummy issues.

    I’m not trying to jump on you or tick anyone off. I’m just saying…

  • Delurking to say beautiful picture. Impressionist Dashboard. Love it.

  • GKON

    Dooce what’s this that I hear about Mormon’s baptizing dead Holocaust victims?

  • I highly doubt a lick off of my finger of Breyer’s Vanilla will cause her tummy to go into convulsions. I had her for the night, and she didn’t seem to have any problems. Now, I wouldn’t suggest giving the kid an entire cone of ice cream – not a good idea. But aunties are supposed to spoil their nieces and nephews. It’s a law of nature.

  • Andrea in Canada

    interesting photo. what is it? looks like the back end of a car to me…or a dashboard..hmm..

    torrie, my baby girl (19mths) loves lemons, dill pickles and her fave snack is black olives…weird huh? My 4yr old also loves olives, hot salsa, pickles…anything bitter or spicy.

  • naralius

    I like to give “forbiden” food to babys, when my niece was 2 months old i gave her a bottle of coke.. you should have seen her face… adorable! my sister almost kill me, but it was worth it

  • Torrie, I love the way you think. Torturing others is always fun.

    Yeah for the kitty!!!

    Katie, is it too early to start the countdown? LOLOLOLOL

  • Lilla

    Heather, you need to get out more, sweetheart!

  • Eek, the bottle of coke sounds a little frightening. I think I will wait until she is at least a year to even give her a straw-full of coke. And even then my sister will probably choke me.

    SFG, it’s never too early, but it sound sort of depressing to say “Only 6 hours and 48 minutes to go!!!” Well, actually 5 hours and 48 minutes since you have to take the lunch hour out.

  • Annabelle

    4 hours and 45 minutes for me- EST. After taking the lunch hour out- which is going to rock today because it’s our Associate Publisher’s birthday so free lunch at a nice restaurant that will probably last at least an hour and a half! Whoo-hooo!

  • OK, everybody…

    Here is what Pokey’s package looks like:

  • naralius

    if it makes you feel good, she just drank a couple of sips

  • SFG, thanks for liking the sick bitch aspect of my personality.

  • Hey Torrie, it takes one to appreciate one. From one sick bitch to another, hats off. 🙂

  • Torrie-personally, my favorite aspect of my personality has always been the sick bitch side.

  • ashik

    sfg and torrie – for a sec there i thought you said “slick” and not sick. Like:
    The Slick Sick Bitch Brigade.

  • It’s okay, Naralius. I won’t put you down for giving her coke. I am sure you are her favorite auntie. And it’s a way to get back at your sister if she ever taunted you as a kid.

  • Yes, neices and nephews shalt be spoiled by the aunt. I love my little neice, got to see her hunt Easter eggs for the first time this year, what fun.

  • I am having an acid flashback!

  • traci

    It is so strange to look at all your pictures that you take around the city heather, because I can tell exactly where you are and which direction you’re going. In fact, I probably know where your Aunts trailor park is if I knew the name.

  • Muffy

    I’m breaking etiquette here…
    Lawbrat, i LOVE the PARTNER button on your site! Personally, I’m a fan of the ALT+TAB combination to avoid that all too obvious dash for the mouse when doing something on the computer that isn’t job related.

  • Annabelle

    Kieran, are you a boy or a girl? Man or woman, shall i say.

  • I can not belive that no one is acknowledging comment #126.

    I thought you sick bitches would enjoy it.

  • I’m at work. All that nasty stuff is filtered.

    Wah! How boring!

  • I have about 300 of those exact pictures above.

    I have one of Alyx where it looks like she is shooting neon right out of her nose!

    ISO…I will learn to pump that up a bit when taking pictures in the dark.

  • ishouldbeworking

    kbbaw–you are right, aunts are legally obligated to spoil nieces and nephews…my 2 sisters have been spoiling my daughter for almost 11 years…but i can’t retaliate because neither of them has kids! when she was about 9 months old, they had her all day and before the brought her home, fed her part of a candy bar and gave her an ounce of MOUNTAIN DEW! We were still up @ 1a.m. bouncing off the walls. I made sure to call both of them every 30 minutes ’til she finally went to sleep!!!

  • Vaida, try the link. It’s not as nasty as you think.

  • Annabelle

    My Aunt and Uncle (who were then in their late teens) babysat their older sister’s oldest baby one afternoon and got her drunk. My cousin was probably like 14 months old and they fed her sips of beer and when my Aunt came to get her, she was sitting on the rug tipping and swaying from side to side. It was a BAD scene. Aunt and Uncle have grown up to be rather insane.

  • Thanks Muffy!

  • heidi

    i don’t know, those mountains make those doublewides look pretty good. i think i’d live in a cardboard box if i could be surrounded by so much beauty.

  • Torrie, I went there. Too fucking funny!! He says he’s hung like a horse!

  • Em

    Groovy and pretty!

  • yeah, like a miniature horse.

  • ishouldbeworking

    So how ’bout it Pokey, are ya that well stuffed???

  • Ishouldbeworking- IF he is that well stuffed, he’s still very short.

    I dont want no short short man….LOL

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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