Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point

One of the drawbacks of maintaining a public website as anyone who has done this will tell you is that the longer you keep writing online the more people you are likely to piss off. At the same time you are also likely to touch more people’s lives and make more connections, more friends, and that is definitely the most rewarding thing about it all, but it’s that increasing amount of people who scorn you that teach you the most about yourself. How thick is your skin? How much can you take? How do you find a way to continue writing in a way that isn’t affected by what those certain people have to say? And most importantly, how do you find the strength to resist submitting their email addresses to the QueerWorld.com mailing list, IT WOULD FEEL OH SO TINGLY IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.

In the last year it has become almost impossible for me to sit down to write something without wondering what person I am going to offend this time. It’s an involuntary response, automatic, because I’ve learned that there is nothing too small that an opinion can’t be formed about it, like whether or not I use blue in a masthead, or the fact that I have chosen a sans-serif font for body copy, really small things that I wrongly assumed wouldn’t end the world but are in fact so important that because I chose blue and not green I might as well have just peed in someone’s Cheerios.

Because the bad email makes up such a small part of the feedback to this website, though, I feel like it’s part of my job to get over it already. Even though I can’t help flinching once I click “publish” I have to realize that a lot of what people send me is only a projection of themselves, a projection of what they want to see in themselves or their own value system and it really has nothing to do with me personally. It also helps to think of it in terms of someone having a really bad day, that their bad email is just a window into the hard time they are having. It also doesn’t hurt if I just assume that some people are mad crazy psycho.

I tell you this because it’s a question I get a lot, how do I deal with the mean email or the mean comments. To be honest, it’s an ongoing process. One way is to go back and read the supportive email because that’s what it’s there for, and I don’t ever take it for granted. Another way is to laugh about it because some of the stuff that shows up in my inbox is blow-your-mind genius, and after reading a few that I received this week I thought it would be mean of me not to share some of the best here with you.

Email addresses have been removed because otherwise that would be mean, and although you can accuse me of being a bitch I am not a mean bitch. I am the Good Bitch of the North! Also, the text in italics represents my initial reaction to the email with a little bit of Jon’s commentary thrown in.

——

Jennifer W:
It vexes me slightly that you are starting to become lazy and self-absorbed – what was once a deeply appreciated view in to a like mind, is becoming a boring look at your to-do list filled with fun, next-step activities in your wow-look-at-me life… please heather – take a step back, reclaim the original you-ness that created this treat i give myself everyday called dooce.com – and stop acting so average like some lotto ticket winner…

[You know what other treat you should give yourself everyday? An enema.]

——

abbas:
you have a good blog. please put your sexual picture in your weblog.

[Hey, Mahir, is that you?]

——

Mindy S:
Oh, dear dooce, I haven’t the slightest problem with you publicly humiliating your dog but this time you’ve gone too far. Those christmas lights merrily draped around the poor pooch contain high levels of lead. Do you not read the warnings? Lead, dooce, lead.

[Deep breaths, Mindy, deep breaths.]

——

Keri R:
i used to find your writing clever….but lately, it stinks. switch meds. your grammar is terrible. when you land a book deal the editor will commit suicide before your hardback hits the shelf. (and depression is a disorder, not a disease….although the scary things you do to your kid’s hair might change the order of things)

[Need we talk about the non-capitalized sentences? Need we talk about meds?]

——

TDepaz:
Your site has gotten pathetic since either Jon came home and your mind turned to mush or when you became too mesmerized by your own ads to actually type anything interesting anymore! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this continues I wont be reading anymore.

[Can’t talk, looking at ads.]

——

Jena S:
Sweaty goat balls = Dooce’s new look

[Dude, that’s totally going to be my next tagline: NOW WITH SWEATY GOAT BALLS!]

——

Alex S:
are you mocking syphilis??? when did this start, you bigot!

i remember when i used to think you where cool. what happened?

[I don’t hate the disease, I just disagree with the lifestyle of the disease.]

——

Jeff S:
some kids may get cuter as they get older if you are lucky.

[And some cranky men obviously haven’t been laid recently. It’ll happen if you are lucky!]

——

Apurva P:
Blurbomat all of a sudden puts liberal/democrat party type propaganda on his site. I know we have the 1st amedment but when you turn your personal little blog into a launching pad of political diatribe, I cannot support that – esp when you’re planning on schillling your goods.

I didn’t like the latest picture of Jon flipping off the camera , as my son was with me.. Daddy, what does that mean.. It’s enough to be bombard in the news, tv, but you’d think dooce.com woulnd’t have crap like that.

[Blink… blink, blink… you’d think someone had never read my website before.]

Anyways, I no longer view your work as cute and insightful into being a mother in Utah, but now I think you’ve just gotten way too big for your britches now that you’re getting paid.

You’ve sold out in the worst way. I used to care for you and your family, now I just pity you.

[Would it have changed your mind if I had sold out in the best way?]

——

Asian34:
You’ve sold out and lost a reader. You should change your header to “Dooce-Viva la mighty DOLLAR!”

[Thanks for the suggestion, but it just doesn’t have that sweaty goat ball ring to it.]

——

Michelle W:
your website sux. I loved reading your daily posts and now I can’t even wade through all the bullshit ads. Why on earth would you do this ? Couldn’t you just pick ONE endorsement ? ARE YOU THAT GREEDY ?????

[Yes. And no. But kind of, yeah.]

——

Tiffany R:
I do have to admit, you are funny when you write about some things and I wish I could just enjoy your website’s funny stories without stumbling across random swear words and false doctrine about my church, but I can’t. It’s everywhere! Talk about a chip on your shoulder! I know there is such a thing as free speech so no one can tell you what to not write. But some of the things you write…I don’t know. Let’s just say I don’t want to be standing next to you on judgement day. The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you. (Sorry, I guess that wasn’t very Christian of me.)

[Technically, your church doesn’t believe in trapdoors or hell.]

——

Keri R:
I can’t stand you.

and your webpage looks cluttered and sloppy and so full of CRAP. it looks like shit.

your writing is shit.

i’ve deleted you from my bookmarks.

i’m starting an “I Hate Dooce” club.

I’ll send you the link.

[Look who it is again! Keri R! Not surprisingly, this is only the second of several hateful emails she has sent me, but I didn’t include the others here because they were disappointingly mediocre in their display of hatefulness. Yawn. I like haters who excel!]

——

Robert N:
You just blather on about your precocious child, your depression, and your family. What are you trying to say and why should I visit? You seem to be a bright person but totally devoid of insight. All is vanity…

[Vanity. Like sending condescending emails to strangers?]

——

Walter G:
Everything that you gained will be taken away from you. You are simply a Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist! I predict bannishment to the Island of FagLesbian or a re-adjustment camp for you and your ilk!

[The Island of FagLesbian? That only sounds like ONE BIG PARTY. Send me now!]

——

Mary B:
I am getting the distinct impression that you despise motherhood, and hate your life in Utah. Am I correct in this perception? If so, Leta is going to grow up thinking her mother hated her and hated taking care of her. That can’t be a good thing….for Leta.

[Mary B, let me introduce you to someone. Jeff S, this is Mary B. Mary B, meet Jeff S.]

——

Rachel N:
you know, i was gonna just send an email to say that you’re the offspring of people having sex with animals..but that really is digressive isn’t it. my goodness, this is really immature, no?

all in all, women like you seriously have no business having kids at this juncture. i’m sure you love your girl, but kids need more than love. they need happy, mature parents.

[I didn’t have a response to this email because I was too high from the cocaine I just snorted off Leta’s bare tummy.]

——

George M:
My girlfriend pointed me toward your site. I have never read such self indulgent shit in all my life. I now know why she was laughing so hard. You are so pathetic. Get a life. How can anyone talk about their dog, baby shit, etc ad nauseum. Do something. Work in a charity. Get a job. Loser.

[Wait, you have a girlfriend? Still?]

——

Shannon W:
You have really crossed the line now!!!!!!! I was shocked and very unhappy to see the cover of the book that my uncle worte on the front page of your blog. I always knew that you would mock anything that had to do with the curch, but this really hit home. My uncle worked really hard on putting this book together. A ton of time and effort went into it, and here you are mocking it. This book has helped people, and here you are mocking it.

When I see people mocking all this in someone that I love I STAND UP FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe that you have stooped so low!

[I got this email yesterday and read it aloud to Jon and GEORGE! Each time she used an exclamation point I said it out loud, “Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.” After I was done the room just sat there silent until GEORGE! said, “Ask her if she’s hot.” It may just turn out that my hatemail is the perfect place for GEORGE! to meet Mormon women.]

  • Damn, how you get some doozies!

    I had no idea that people actually had the audacity (and free time) to send you these shitty emails. And for what? To put down someone they’ve never even met and to criticize her for her morals, opinions, and parenting!? Ridiculous. Keep it up Heather…you still float my boat EVERY DAY.

  • Dana

    Careful, random swear words:
    As a writer and columnist for a newspaper, I get a lot of crazy-ass people who send hatemail. I have a WTF (What-the-Fuck) File that I stuff the e-mails in and I write down what callers say. It’s funny to go back and remind yourself on how people make idiots out of themselves in an attempt to be hateful.
    Thick skin and a good sense of humor is all it takes. You’ve got both (along with a great haircut, a beautiful daughter, a cool canine, etc.) Tell them to take a laxative or quit reading.

  • I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that “ripe goat boxer smell.” The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!

  • Dude..

    Is all I can say.

    Well, that and I wish I got some hate mail once in a while.

  • I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that “ripe goat boxer smell.” The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!

  • WendyBoswell

    Hmmm. To these meanie commenters I would say what my little 8 year old would say:

    “You are a poo poo head.”

  • TTG

    I think Keri R is actually Keri Russell. She’s jealous that someone in the world has better hair than she does, and probably also very angry that “Felicity” is no longer on the air.

  • So, if the ads on this site are what support you guys, is it bad that I have them all blocked? And y’know, except for some oddly-size whitespace, the site looks pretty darn good.

    I will admit to being horrified by your current masthead. Not anything to do with you, but a bad childhood experience with needlepoint means all crochet/needlepoint/knitted pattern-type-things just give me the howling fantods.

  • Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they’re pathetic, humorless, twits who haven’t figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.

    Dooce, keep up the good work. I’d love to have my website covered with “The Man’s” ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.

    Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.

  • Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they’re pathetic, humorless, twits who haven’t figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.

    Dooce, keep up the good work. I’d love to have my website covered with “The Man’s” ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.

    Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.

  • Kirsten

    1. Leta is absolutely gorgeous and cherubic, and I hope that when I have children, they look half as adorable as she clearly is.

    2. I appreciate your writings on your bouts with depression.

    3. If someone has a problem with Blurbomat’s political views, they should fucking comment on his site. Not yours.

    4. Chuck is adorable. I love it when you post about him and put pictures of him up. I wish my German Shepherd would allow me to place spaghetti on his snout. Cause I would do the same thing.

    5. You write extraordinarily well. Grammar, spelling…it’s all great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    6. I started blogging because of your site. I haven’t figured out how to put pictures up with my mac laptop, but at the least, it’s a place for me to bitch and share happy thoughts–no matter how mediocre some assholes might think them to be. Feel free to read it, I’d love to know what a gorgeous, thin, and talented celebrity blogger thinks. Oh, and if you have any suggestions on how to blog on a mac, I’d be forever indebted to you. http://leblondeaux.blogspot.com/

  • I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that “ripe goat boxer smell.” The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!

  • Oops, sorry for the multiple comments. There was a glitch in my browser.

  • Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they’re pathetic, humorless, twits who haven’t figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.

    Dooce, keep up the good work. I’d love to have my website covered with “The Man’s” ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.

    Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.

  • I love Dooce

    Heather,
    I think you are the best. It is sad that some people spend so much of their time and energy trying to ruin someone else’s day. You brighten my days and I have learned so much from you sharing your life. From a recovering Jehovah’s Witness to a recovering Mormon, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FREE! Keep on keepin’ on. Mad love.

  • Argh. Some people really need to get lives. I’ve been visiting this site from just around the time Leta was born, and check every day, sometimes several times, to see what new things you have to say.

    What’s with the people who don’t capitalize criticising your grammar? The thoughtless dolts who don’t like your subject matter? Why do people hate so much?

    The ads aren’t that annoying. I’m one of the people who bitched about them at first, but I’ve totally gotten used to them. ARGH!

    You’re wonderful, Heather. Tell those motherfuckers to fuck themselves.

  • Kirsten

    1. Leta is absolutely gorgeous and cherubic, and I hope that when I have children, they look half as adorable as she clearly is.

    2. I appreciate your writings on your bouts with depression.

    3. If someone has a problem with Blurbomat’s political views, they should fucking comment on his site. Not yours.

    4. Chuck is adorable. I love it when you post about him and put pictures of him up. I wish my German Shepherd would allow me to place spaghetti on his snout. Cause I would do the same thing.

    5. You write extraordinarily well. Grammar, spelling…it’s all great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    6. I started blogging because of your site. I haven’t figured out how to put pictures up with my mac laptop, but at the least, it’s a place for me to bitch and share happy thoughts–no matter how mediocre some assholes might think them to be. Feel free to read it, I’d love to know what a gorgeous, thin, and talented celebrity blogger thinks. Oh, and if you have any suggestions on how to blog on a mac, I’d be forever indebted to you. http://leblondeaux.blogspot.com/

  • Liz

    I feel compelled to comment simply because I am absolutely bewildered by the emails you get. You have talked about the nastiness of the emails in the past, but I guess I assumed that they would at least be mature in their nastiness; that they would communicate a clear point of view, focus on something worthy of objection, and present a reasonably constructed argument etc. These comments are just absurd. I am struck that those who take time to send a nasty email don’t stop and take a second to realize that they have a choice to NOT READ if they have such a personal objection to the content matter of somebody’s personal website.

  • sally

    Dear Heather,
    I love you more than I can express! Every day I visit your blog and laugh out loud in my silent dorm room. I am only a freshman in college, and despite all these negative comments talking about your “immature” parenting, you’re one of the reasons I can even stand to THINK about having children! It is so refreshing to see someone have a child and still maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR! I was afraid that all parents become boring, snobby, and self-righteous humans after a certain amount of time, but you’ve proved me wrong! I think you are amazing, and I don’t mind if you sold out, you need some money to support that kid you adore so much. Why does everyone expect that you’re some sort of superhuman who can function in society without an income? They can BLOW ME. I adore you, I really do. And I want a kid one day who sounds exactly like Leta’s precious little voice. Bravo, Heather, really, you’re an inspiration to me.
    -Sally

  • jams

    don’t like it, don’t read
    the negative comments just reveal how sad, lonely and judgemental their authors are
    instead of sending hate mail to someone’s PERSONAL blog, why aren’t they out trying to make change in the world? because they loathe themselves and only know how to take joy in making others feel inferior
    again, don’t like it, don’t read it
    soooo simple, yet obviously, so complex
    screw ’em!

  • Oh My! People seriously need to get a life. On my site, I have a note about hate mail and it says that if you’re planning on writing it, make sure you plug in your own email address in the “to:” area. It will make you feel better to get it off your chest and it will save me the time of having to hit delete.

    Maybe I should change that! Your hate mail is seriously entertaining!

  • Elizabeth

    Well…I’m not sure why anyone would take the time to login just so they could spew venomous ack at someone they don’t know (she said as she had logged in to make a comment to someone she doesn’t even know). Your website is just fine. Otherwise why would anyone read it? I happen to enjoy reading it. I like Chuck. I like Leta. I like Jon, and of course I like you. I think what’s-her-name should realize that using exclamnation points on the Web is a privilege, not a right. I hope you appreciate how long it took me to look up the spelling of privilege. By the way, check out the principles of the Music Genome Project, if you’re not already familiar with it. Go to Pandora.com. You can tell them what kind of music you want to hear. I think it’s really funny because they won’t play what you want but they’ll play what they think you should want to hear. So get on with you life and enjoy spring. The snow has just melted where I live and we’re having mud season.

  • Damn, how you get some doozies!

    I had no idea that people actually had the audacity (and free time) to send you these shitty emails. And for what? To put down someone they’ve never even met and to criticize her for her morals, opinions, and parenting!? Ridiculous. Keep it up Heather…you still float my boat EVERY DAY.

  • Argh. Some people really need to get lives. I’ve been visiting this site from just around the time Leta was born, and check every day, sometimes several times, to see what new things you have to say.

    What’s with the people who don’t capitalize criticising your grammar? The thoughtless dolts who don’t like your subject matter? Why do people hate so much?

    The ads aren’t that annoying. I’m one of the people who bitched about them at first, but I’ve totally gotten used to them. ARGH!

    You’re wonderful, Heather. Tell those motherfuckers to fuck themselves.

  • Sunshine

    Heather, I’ve been reading quietly for just about a year now. (yeah, that’s me back there in the corner with the empty coffee cup)

    I read every day, and read all the back issues if I’m away for a while.

    Love you, your blog, and your family.

    Illegitimi non carborundum — don’t let the bastards wear you down.

  • TPunk

    Wow, isn’t it refreshing to know there is no shortage of nutjobs in the world? And why do they seem to be so attracted to this site??

    Seriously, I’ve been reading and enjoying your site for over a year but have never posted my appreciation until now. Thank you for enduring the crazies and continuing to provide us with such witty and fun glimpses into your life.

  • Oh man Heather. It is SO hard to get any comments that even remotely mean. Even if you know they’re just doing it to get a rise out of you and create some conflict.

    How is it that these people can’t see that they are hurtful? That the words they type are actually read by someone who takes them personally. Horrible people. And I feel like if they really are this upset about your site, then CLICK ELSEWHERE.

    Your ability to laugh about it (even if that wasn’t your initial reaction) is amazing.

  • Heather

    OK, I admit it. I am a Mormon. Card-carrying, go to church every Sunday, teach Relief Society Mormon. That being said, you so totally rock! My best friend, also a Heather(and a Mormon), thinks that you rock too. I love my faith, but I truly believe that a large percentage of religious people really need to find their sense of ‘flippin’ humor. I think that God is up there laughing his head off at us as we try to life our lives. You have a beautiful daughter-and if you would like to arrange a marriage for her, I have two sons, an obviously loving husband, and a cool dog. Keep on making us laugh at ourselves, and thank you for making my husband in Iraq laugh. He swears that girl on the cover of the book is my sister!

  • Morphea

    You know, these people are entitled to their opinions. Just like I’m entitled to call them all dumbasses.

    Keep doing what you’re doing, luv.

  • trublu76

    I never really could understand the people who rant and rave about not liking what someone is writing on their websites. Do these people not understand that they don’t HAVE to read it? They do have the option of NOT navigating to dooce dot com every day. I on the other hand do not have the option. I’m hooked on you, dooce. Love your writing and I’m glad to see these nay-sayers aren’t keeping you down.

    I can’t wait for the Island of Faglesbian party…

  • MommaChop

    I never understand why hateful morons are also incapable of using SpellCheck….

    They also clearly do not have children, so don’t understand the daily heart-wrenching cuteness soaked in the need to get far, far away from the source of cuteness for 5 goddamn minutes. while mixing a cocktail.

    So, fuck em.

  • Amazing that people take the time to send emails like that, and continue visiting your site when it seems to annoy them so. They obviously lead very sad little lives.

    Anyway, consider this one of the supportive messages you can read to counteract the abuse. Dooce.com is without doubt my favourite blog, the one I look forward to reading most.

  • Della

    There’s a trap door to Hell?

  • What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It’d be a laugh riot.

    A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.

  • Janine

    What I find the most ironic about all of this is that these people, these haters, still continue to read your site. It’s like a car wreck…can’t…look…away! They’ll delete you from their bookmarks, but still keep reading. They’ll think you’re so boring that they’ll actually WRITE to you to TELL you. Please. Would they email executives at NBC to tell them that their programming is terrible? The author of every bad or uninteresting book they read?

    People seem to get some vindictive kick out of making people feel bad. And it doesn’t matter WHAT you write, they’ll always do it. Depressed? Constipated? They’ll write to you and tell you you’re horrible, boring, abusing your child, etc. Found the cure to cancer? Decided to send all your money to needy orphans? You horrible, disgusting person.

    Heather, what you write here never fails to bring a smile to my face. My only regret is that my favourite quote of yours, where Chuck licked up Leta’s poop, “as if it was as soft and buttery as an ice cream cone,” has now been replaced by the phrase “sweaty goat balls.”

  • Newly Commentous

    I was laughing SO hard until I read that hell has a trap door…shit.
    And I’m totally not just saying this because you get asshole emails, but your new haircut rocks.

  • What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It’d be a laugh riot.

    A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.

  • MeAhna

    Well, I think you are a great mother. But, dont haters just boost your confidence?

  • Roxanne

    Your blog is so laugh-out-loud funny, it has never occurred to me to read the comments, too. Apparently, there is value-added mockability to be had in this section!

    It just keeps getting better. Keep up the good work. And, please, keep draping Chuck in lethal holiday-wear; it’s good for our morale.

  • MeAhna

    Well, I think you are a great mother. But, dont haters just boost your confidence?

  • What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It’d be a laugh riot.

    A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.

  • Newly Commentous

    I was laughing SO hard until I read that hell has a trap door…shit.
    And I’m totally not just saying this because you get asshole emails, but your new haircut rocks.

  • jennyk

    wow, just… wow.

    i have a boring desk job so when i discovered your site about a year ago, i spent a few weeks reading every post. i’ve loved them all. people grow and their lives change. if you were still writing about the same things you were 3 years ago i would be concerned.

    rock on heather.

  • I don’t think I’ve ever commented before either, but the hate mail was hilarious. Don’t get me wrong, I get so upset when I get hate mail and I’m sure you were upset too–but I’m glad you were able to share the funny with us.

    I am particularly fond of the woman who knows you like to “mock anything that ha[s] to do with the curch”. Boy, that sounds dirty.

  • Oh Dooce, don’t give up. I second the notion of pissing off idiots. I link to you and every single person who’s clicked it loves you and now reads.

    In your blog the other day about music, i totally got Shakespeare-tingles when you said the world might collapse bit about dating Jon.

    Geeky English students unit,

    Gilly

  • pseudomom

    This may not count coming from an middle-aged, Republican, heterosexual female with a doctorate in theology… however… I love your site.

    I read your adventures to my mother (probably just to shock her).

    I have my 18 year old daughter read (blurbomat also) to teach her to think outside her conservative Bible belt, hillbilly upbringing.

    Ignore the naysayers.

    Rev. Dr. DP

  • lolismum

    Can I come along to that Lesbo party too?
    You have to admit at least your hate mailers are really entertaining, if you can take a detached attitude. These people are so sad.

  • The Island Of FagLesbian would be an excellent name for a band. (“Yeah, man, I’m a drummer with The Island of FagLesbian. We’re sort of Metallica meets Shakira. We were booked for that Carson Daly show last week.”)

  • It’s been said before and it will be said again:
    I love you and your site. I think you are the funniest woman out there and I wish I had half the nerve to write like you. You are an amazing person and I love the commentary on the hate mail. It only goes to prove you are a bigger person than they.

  • Molly

    Holy Toledo, Heather.

    Are you sure some of those weren’t just bad jokes? As in the not-very-funny-but-tongue-in-cheek kind? Is it too much to hope?

    I adore your site. And I couldn’t care less about the ads, and I’m happy that you can do this and make a living. Exclamation point.

    Don’t let the bastards wear you down.