An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Oh mon, mon, mon, mon, you are

Leta has recently figured out how to operate the DVD remote and because of this we are now forced to watch a certain Sesame Street DVD over and over again. Never mind that we have seven different episodes stored on the TiVo including the one featuring a skit where two Weimaraners are dressed up as old women and are making peanut butter from scratch with their human hands. She couldn’t care less about that episode, pity her bad taste. My one hope in life is that when we all die and go to heaven a Weimaraner dressed up as an old woman will greet us at the gates.

Also, since we’re on the topic of Weimaraners, here’s a reminder of why the Daily Oliver is the best website on the Internet.

The Sesame Street DVD is filled with all sorts of children’s songs like I’ve Been Working on the Railroad and She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain and that insufferable Jacob Jingleheimer song which I’m certain is being played right now at an unbearable volume in some prison to torture a terrorist suspect. Dude is probably wishing they had instead just cut off his arms and forced him to eat his own fingers.

Leta now knows all these songs and sings them line for line, a remarkable feat considering she had never heard any of them before this DVD. Last night as we were getting her ready for bed she broke into a violently off-key version of Row Row Row Your Boat, and I realized that she had learned it solely from watching television, that it required no input from me as a parent. People, this is an example of everything that is right with America.

Last night we also got out the video camera because she was singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with so much gusto it could have been the national anthem. She may not have all the words right, or any of them for that matter, and in this clip she doesn’t even start in the right place, but this video shows that the television is doing a pretty good job of raising my kid.

Flash movie
Quicktime movie

  • So sweet. I once heard a baby sing “(I’m A) Slave 4 U” when I was waiting in line at a Tim Horton’s. It was disturbing to say the least.

  • Thank goodness I have my own walking conglomeration of cute to immunize me against the worst effects against other people’s cute kids…otherwise I’d be on the floor twitching from the sheer overload of adorableness.

    Small Angel get alot of her pre-state-standardized education from the TV too. In fact, she has this tendancy to act out scenes she seen during the day, usually after she gets put to bed. Thank goodness for commercial free kids’ TV, because one thing she has not been indoctrinated with is the urge to demand every single toy on the shelf when we go to the store. Ah, bliss.

  • Lori

    She’s just scrumptious! And she totally knows how to perform for the camera!

  • Too cute!

    Just wait till she starts reciting infomercials, like mine. I think my daughter is a secret spy for coca-cola or pepsi or marlboro, because she will say, “Mama, you need to get that.”

  • olinjoles

    What I want to know is…what’s Chuck up to in the background?

  • Waaaaah! Keeling over from the cuteness!

    So, was Chuck roasting marshmallows in the background?

  • Simply precious!

  • Lori

    She’s just scrumptious! And she totally knows how to perform for the camera!

  • Precious!! I’m a stay at home mom of two boys (2 1/2 and 7) and couldn’t survive one day without tv. If it weren’t for Blue and Steve (or Joe), my youngest wouldn’t know shit. I mean come on, with the help of Dora and Diego, he’s even learning SPANISH!

  • Maladroit

    Only a mom would be able to pick Twinkle Twinkle Little Star out of that harmonius offering. I particularly love the entended ending “aaaarrrrreeee”
    Brought back memories of my little one’s early singing.

  • Amy L.

    Oh, God. The John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song. That was a memory I didn’t need to recover. My brother used to sing that OVERandOVERandOVERandOVER just to torture me. I freaking hate that song to this day.

    It must run in my family, because my father loved to torture us with this old gem:
    “Pete and Repeat are out fishing in a boat. Pete falls over the side. Who’s left in the boat?”
    “Pete and Repeat are out fishing in a boat. Pete falls over the side…”

    Thanks, Heather. The rest of the day I am going to be singing “Johhhn, Jaaaycob JingleHEIMER SCHMIDT! His name is my name tooooo…” in my head. 🙁

  • ClaireDanish

    Uno, Duos, Trace? Quatro, Cinco? Ocho? Nueve? oh yeah, glad to see Sesame Street hasn’t changed, except for the fact that Bert and Ernie are gay, Cookie Monster went on Adkins and Oscar’s grouchiness was relieved with Prozac.

    I always liked the Electric Company better. hmph.

  • snookie

    Oh my gosh! Please keep the video and audio clips coming. Leta rocks! I am officially a groupie.

  • Molicious

    OMG, too cute!

  • heather! you never mentioned that you were raising her to be bilingual!

  • Brava, Leta! Excellent singing! (She totally knows it, too.)

    Also, I’m guessing Leta already read a bunch of Wegman photo books months ago and is totally over the whole Anthropomorphized Weimaraner thing.

  • As a former full-time nanny, I am a HUGE advocate of TV! Especially Sesame Street.

  • You guys know that you’re like the luckiest people in the world, right? She is such a SWEETHEART!

  • Dana

    Love it! She’s gorgeous and talented!
    I really like how you can hear you guys giggling a bit in the background!

  • OMG!!! Lying on the floor semi concious now from that. Go Leta!

    Daily Oliver reader since 2005. Weimaraners Rule! I love my girls.

  • I guess you’d be offended if we ate her up because she’s so cute??

  • Gorgeous! She would have a hoot singing with my 2 year old son.

  • holy cow, she’s cute!

  • what a little ham! gawl she’s cute, might not have to set her out by the curb after all!

  • maryhead

    Geebus, woman, how do you create such adorability? I just want to squeeze her and make her sit down and sing things to me EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.

  • Amy

    Leta’s version of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” is too cute. She made my two year old stop dead in his tracks, giggle and then blush a little. The moment caused a temporary loss of consciousness…I just came to.

  • I’ve been told that when I order my n-th margarita it sounds a bit like that.

    I recommend Tri Delta for this little sorority girl.

  • Aaaaaaaa the cute!!

    Your kid has been the ONLY ray of sunshine on an otherwise completely shit day. Well, the only besides my husband. I’m sure you’ll understand.

    Thanks for posting joy, Heather. If you accept bribes in return for posting funny and gorgeous videos of Leta — chocolate truffles, good wine, hookers and blow — do let me (us? surely there is an “us” here) know.

  • Tree W

    You have got to put more video of that adorable child on your site.

    My daughter’s crack is Dan Zanes & Friends – All Around the Kitchen! Crazy Videos & Concert Songs!

  • sistieugler

    this is the single most delicious piece of video i’ve seen all da… well, heck! this is just a delicious piece of video, period. and your precious leta is *beyond* cute! (but, you knew that) : D

  • I like Leta’s version better than the original.

    Also, it should be a rule that all nursery rhyme songs be sung while sporting pig tails.

  • Taegan7879

    haha yea.. I totally know where you’re coming from! Color me surprised when my 2 year old busted out singing the ABC song… Didnt learn that shit from me. Gotta love Elmo, LOL. Of course, I have it a little worse. I have NO American television!! We didnt sign up for AFN (American Forces Network) over here so we get to watch DVD’s over and over again or listen to German Cartoons, fun!!

  • That is so disgustingly cute it makes my ovaries hurt.

    I request Chuck howling along.

  • You can see that her singing is so impressing the chuckmeister that he is ready to fling himself into the flames to escape the sound.

    Presonally I think she may have been watching too many anthems sung in baseball parks…that girl has mad echo on her.

  • Kaymadmom

    CUTE! Maddie has been running around this week quoting her new favorite movie, “Marry Poppins.” You really must strap Leta in to her car seat and make her watch that movie a few times. There’s nothing like a toddler to motivate you during those rough times with the line, “Snap! The job’s a game!” I heart Television!

  • So cute! Thanks for sharing!

  • Smacky

    Jon’s infectious laugh is peeking out again. But she’s adorable! I loved it.

  • I clicked on this video while my two-year-old son was in the room, and then we watched it seven times. “Let’s see Leta again,” he says.

    She’s really quite a crowd pleaser, that’s for sure.

  • She speaks in tongues! TV has taught her she’s the Messiah. Or at least his prophet. Your family must be thrilled.

    Heather, this kid the influence that kicked my ovaries into gear over 2 years ago. Thank god we’re having one of our own in September. My husband blames you.

  • Oh good lord, I may need a root canal after all that sweetness. What a dollbaby she is!

    My little guy asks for the “Blubird Song” as soon as we get in the car. It’s by Milkshake, a band the WHOLE family actually can stand without earplugs.

  • So cute! Mine sings it, “Ginkle Ginkle little tar.”

  • Nat W.

    Oh, it hurts my uterus…

  • misssurly

    Here’s why Daily Oliver is my favorite site (besides that is!)

  • Staci

    Let’s just say if it wasn’t for TV…my kids wouldn’t know anything (haha). I joke that my 5 year old is a TVholic!! I know they say it is not good for kids to watch too much tv…but if they watch what is age appropriate, I do think they can learn a lot. My daughter is 21 months old and requests Barney and Wiggles over and over and over again – did I say over again? How can you deny such cuteness? Keep it up Leta!

  • Precious. Sesame Street is a good thing! We love it here too and it saves Mommy’s voice 😉

  • Velma

    Just wait until the interpretive dance begins! I can say with authority that the adorableness ratchets up even higher when the random-yet-purposeful dancing begins. I have a clip of my kids spazzing out to the Killers “Mr. Brightside” that induces so many endorphins upon viewing that I could probably market it to combat PMS. I can hardly wait until Leta is old enough to grace us with her moves!

  • Oh! She has friendly eyes at the mon mon mon bit. And her mouth is fucking huge!

    My boyfriend thinks I am obsessed with Leta (he’s right). You’re giving us VIDEOS Heather. V-I-D-E-O-S. This is too cute.


  • seriously now, how often to you just bite her from the cute?

  • clay harris

    i was just telling a coworker today that i wasn’t sure kids were in the cards… then you put up the awesome-est video ever! sign me up for one of those!

  • Over here we are all “too too chucka chucka bih reh dar!” Way too much Wiggles going on. But at least Greg Wiggle is kinda cute.

    But Leta is BEYOND cute!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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