Heater, Mother of Lance


We have always thought that Leta is the brightest kid to ever walk the Earth — she can already differentiate between the sounds of an airplane and a helicopter, although she does often point to an empty sky and say, “BIRD!” but we aren’t going to mention that to anyone who works in any sort of admissions office — but now we have proof to silence all the skeptics: video that shows she is a mathematical genius. All that is missing is a clip of her running in circles with a bucket on her head.

Flash video
Quicktime movie

  • KaraMia

    2006/06/01 at 11:50 am

    Hey, I saw that finger waggle at least two times, I think you might be underestimating her. Besides, if she doesn’t become a math wiz, you can always sign her up for Top Model…she’s got that hair flip part down!

  • KookieDangerous

    2006/06/01 at 11:46 am

    The screen test went well, Mr. Selznik. We’ll have to get her a dialogue coach, but besides that, she’s a natural. Give her an open – ended contract right away!

  • cagey

    2006/06/01 at 11:47 am

    Too bad you already blew her College Fund on your new sewer thingie. Bah. Education is over-rated in the light of a quality dump that is free of Flushing Tension…. 🙂

  • bee

    2006/06/01 at 11:47 am

    She’s blinking with mile-long lashes there and all I can here is

    *doink* *doink,doink*

    I need those lashes!

  • fixedupgirl

    2006/06/01 at 11:45 am

    What a ham!

    I enjoyed the wiggling of her index finger promptly upon answering you! She’s too adorable.

  • Kung Foodie

    2006/06/01 at 11:46 am

    Ahhhhhh….so cute!!!

  • dancingnancy

    2006/06/01 at 11:46 am

    I’ll bet she knows who flushed the towels down the toilet…..

  • wendyboswell

    2006/06/01 at 11:38 am

    I like how she arranged her hair “just so” before answering.

  • jams

    2006/06/01 at 11:39 am

    i think that she may have a lucrative career in hand modeling in her future.
    her fingers look so long and not at all sausage like, the way most two year old hands look.

  • Cindy

    2006/06/01 at 11:41 am

    So adorable!!!!

  • MissDirected

    2006/06/01 at 11:42 am

    If I ever have a kid even a quarter as cute as Leta, I’ll consider myself lucky. Who cares if she can count? With that adorable hair toss she’s got “Pantene Commercials” written all over her.

  • chumbot

    2006/06/01 at 11:36 am

    i can’t get enough of these videos. more more more!!!

  • jodimichelle

    2006/06/01 at 2:25 pm

    Thats great. We, too, think we have a genious on our hands. Now we all know what that means.

  • rivetergirl

    2006/06/01 at 2:36 pm

    I love the unaffected mannerisms and the utter lack of self-consciousness that exists in toddlers. They just react to their environment and act in the manner they feel will most likely get them cookies.

    It’s a good way to be.

  • tsans

    2006/06/01 at 2:36 pm

    heather, watching this video makes me think of the moment about a year ago when we were watching videos of my now 4 year old son. i realized that since i’m the only one who ever videos, all you hear is my loud ass voice prompting him to do cute things. that is when i began my silent film era, and his 3rd birthday party is simply a silent panning of the events. now my second son is 1 1/2 and all the video of him entails me whispering for him to say things, or do things, or show off. i’m just glad i’m not the only one who’s so damn loud!

  • marnie

    2006/06/01 at 4:26 pm

    how did Leta figure out my secret wave?

  • Maniacal

    2006/06/01 at 4:30 pm

    She sure is cute. Such a flirt with the camera!

  • The Lizzy

    2006/06/01 at 2:39 pm

    Am I the only one waiting for her to start shouting REDRUM! REDRUM!!!!!!!!!???

    Are you pregnant again yet, Heather?

  • Lori MacBlogger

    2006/06/01 at 3:04 pm

    She has all the makings of a successful hair model.

  • Nick T

    2006/06/01 at 3:21 pm

    Brilliant, no doubt about it.

    My two year old daughter holds up all four fingers to tell us her age.

  • Ms.Q

    2006/06/01 at 3:21 pm

    Wha? I don’t get it! She said “two” and held up her (adorable) finger.

    I am this many *holds up 3 and 7 fingers*. What’s wrong with that?! Oh wait, I just remembered I am not a math major but I do have beautiful hair! I want to be Leta when I grow up.

  • coffeygirlb

    2006/06/01 at 3:28 pm

    red rum red rum

  • BigA

    2006/06/01 at 3:43 pm

    Damn – not only does she know her age but then she spells out the word ‘TWO’ in morse code?!?!

  • The Bold Soul

    2006/06/01 at 3:54 pm

    I can hardly wait until she grows up and writes a tell-all NY Times Bestseller about what it was like growing up as the daughter of the Dooce.com blog. Notice I said “blog” not “blogger” – cuz she’s everybody’s baby now!

  • Karen Rani

    2006/06/01 at 4:17 pm

    Jon better himself one of dem dere gun licences, because honeypie, the boys will be a-flockin’ to ya’lls house in 12-14 yars.

  • AmandaR.

    2006/06/01 at 4:24 pm

    Haha… that’s too funny! I love how she violently shakes her head so her curls will bounce!

    This reminds me of a two and a half year old kid who went to the same church I did for awhile. You would ask him how old he was and he would hold up both of his hands and say “Tweennddy four!”. Seriously the cutest thing in the world.

  • jody2ms

    2006/06/01 at 4:37 pm

    I love how she flutters and blinks her eyes at the beginning.

    What a doll!

  • butterfrei

    2006/06/01 at 4:49 pm

    heh heh – so freakin adorable…everyone at the office thinks I’m a junkie. Truth is, the man’s filters keep them from experiencing the video cuteness themselves.

    Forget the counting! How professional is Leta at t-hwwooo…only 2 and already 1) checking the cuteness, blink, blink, tossing the ‘tails, checking the voice box…oops, almost tripped heheh, oh, I’m on..yes, first question, mama…

    you know that split second, when she’s blinkin’ – did you get similar blinks when you told her, “…nuh-uh! Orrrrrrrrrrr not a chance!”?

  • keagansmom

    2006/06/01 at 4:58 pm

    You weren’t kidding when you said she had freakishly long fingers! WOW!
    and she is so freakin CUTE!

  • Snickrsnack Katie

    2006/06/01 at 6:03 pm

    That is great – and oh my lord the child does have long fingers. I can now be at peace knowing I am not the only person out there with freakishly long digits. See, really, her fingers are so long, that each finger is like worth two regular two-year olds fingers. So when she flashes one finger, it is worth two. Leta is way smarter than you think.

    Yeah, there ya go.

  • LTG

    2006/06/01 at 6:36 pm

    Too late. I work in an Admissions Office. I’m making a note of all this for future reference!

    – LTG

  • raspberry queen

    2006/06/01 at 7:09 pm

    Okay, enough with the clips of your adorable daughter. It sets off my biological clock and that’s just so wrong.

    Yeah, I know I don’t have to watch or listen to those clips. But she’s cute, dammit.

  • Ellen

    2006/06/01 at 7:17 pm

    What a great post — thanks for the laughs. I decided to try not getting a TV for my own daughter and was amazed that she picked up books very early on and began to read. She also learned to love the outdoors and to create and do art. Today she’s still doing all those things as a secondary school teacher… who has taken her students to China, and helped kids in Russian orphanages… I often wondered if it was right so kept asking her what she thought and she decided she was too busy for the tube… Your daughter sounds brilliant … it will be fun to see the paths she chooses and the worlds that continue to open for her! She already inspires! Thanks for sharing…

  • cate

    2006/06/01 at 7:21 pm

    Those eyes.

  • Candice

    2006/06/01 at 7:26 pm

    Ohhh, Leta! How you make me smile.

    I just want to give her a hug.

  • oO_Bubblez_Oo

    2006/06/01 at 7:41 pm

    Awww, so cute it makes my ovaries want to explode! I just spent the last week with my cousin Aimee who is about 1yr younger than Leta, and I wanted to bring her home with me!

    Also, I LOVE your hair in the daily photo, it’s so hot right now!

  • laurellz

    2006/06/01 at 8:56 pm

    oh my gosh you need to nip this in the bud. it just gets worse, i swear it.

    at sixteen i still do this.

    “how many, lar?”

    “FOUR!” *holds up three fingers*

  • goddesschristine

    2006/06/01 at 9:21 pm

    There is nothing about that little girl, that I don’t totally adore.

  • seppukuqueen

    2006/06/01 at 9:59 pm

    I’m really not supposed to say that she’s cuter than mine…Trying…so…hard…
    The head shaking reminds me of my little girl, but she opens her mouth when she does it, and attacks face. (We think it’s her attempt at “kissing”)

  • mmoxxie

    2006/06/01 at 10:37 pm

    She looks so much older than 2, and when I see these videos and hear her talk, it’s really weird to realize that she is so young!

  • Amber Lee Pence

    2006/06/01 at 11:31 pm

    Dude, there is not a cuter kid on earth doing a cuter thing at this moment. So cute, ahhh the baby lust damn it why won’t my boyfriend propose already.

  • Mami Delux

    2006/06/02 at 2:45 am

    You have such great humour!… … most parents are always trying to prove how their kids are superior to ones kids, constantly comparing and making awkward remarks….and to me that takes the fun away from being a parent…. you should be able to enjoy your kids and I think you do that so well with your Leta, without being in any way insulting towards her… I just love your humour… and I also find it a relief in what can be very competitive and humourless territory: mommy world.

  • E-Lo

    2006/06/02 at 3:01 am

    Adorable. Just adorable. Love the hair. Love the finger wag.


  • TxSuzyQ

    2006/06/02 at 3:57 am

    She totally knows that 2 fingers up means she is 2 years old. Silly people!!! She just couldn’t get the 2nd finger to cooperate!

  • Magellan

    2006/06/02 at 3:58 am

    I wonder if when Leta thinks of her mom, she sees a woman with half a face and half a camera.

  • Lynne P

    2006/06/02 at 4:03 am

    Just curious…are there still people out there who *don’t* think Heather has an accent?

  • rch7279

    2006/06/02 at 4:16 am

    so adorable! I think it is a great thing that she answers correctly. When my nephew was 2 and someone asked “how old are you” he would always say 5! It was super cute but I think he really did think he was 5 🙂

  • minxlj

    2006/06/02 at 4:31 am

    She is just too cute – I love the way she puts her hand under her chin. I agree with posts above, she looks and acts way older than 2!! She’s grown up so quickly!!

  • Latisha

    2006/06/02 at 4:48 am

    Two…is that right Leta. Congrats on being two.

    That’s s cute.

  • AnitaBonita

    2006/06/02 at 5:35 am

    I downloaded the video on my computer and my son is now fascinated with Leta!!

    And weirdly, whenever she does the finger thing, he laughs and laughs and laughs!! And then signs More to see it again.

    She’s a hit with the toddler set!!!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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