the smell of my desperation has become a stench

A list of sorts

1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I’m trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.

2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.

3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There’s this quote I heard once, I don’t remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, “When it was over.” THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.

4. It’s a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck’s head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I’ll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you’re not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn’t eat any, although he wasn’t interested in them anyway as they weren’t made out of cow.

5. It’s a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I’d mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.


  • Kate C.

    2008/02/29 at 1:51 pm

    For March: “No New Ides”. Maybe with Chuck wearing a laurel wreath while Coco hangs from his neck.

    Sorry. 😉

  • Janis

    2008/02/29 at 1:51 pm

    March: in like a lion, out like a lioness

  • Eve

    2008/02/29 at 1:52 pm

    How about:

    “Chuck – dead as a doornail”?

    I mean, people are going to think it anyway.

  • nils

    2008/02/29 at 1:52 pm

    Tagline re: # 368:

    “There’s more of them out than in, and they all have modems.”

  • Laura

    2008/02/29 at 1:53 pm

    “Striving to be the person my dog(s) thinks I am”

  • Jamie

    2008/02/29 at 1:53 pm

    Dooce: Just clearing up that Seven Year Itch

    Dooce: Coco gets her distemper shot

    Dooce: All the &*&!#$ fit to print

    Dooce: 1 Year Young! (in Coco Years)

  • kate

    2008/02/29 at 1:53 pm

    Hmmm, you sure do attract the crazy


  • Elizabeth

    2008/02/29 at 1:53 pm

    “Et tu, Coco?”

  • Shelley

    2008/02/29 at 1:54 pm

    If this writing thing doesn’t work out for you, I hope you’d seriously consider an interior design/decorating career. And would you please do my house first? ;> Although, you’d not want to be here in Ontario, Canada now….minus 25 degrees with the windchill and snow up to your hips.

  • angelo's mom

    2008/02/29 at 1:55 pm

    Feel free to disregard my comment… I get it about the “bodied” but still think people are nuts lol.

  • Laura

    2008/02/29 at 1:56 pm

    Poop is the new black.

  • Peeved Michelle

    2008/02/29 at 1:56 pm

    I do like iTunes.

  • Joel

    2008/02/29 at 1:57 pm


  • Melina

    2008/02/29 at 1:57 pm

    Dooce–better than a pile of dog poop in a moving vehicle

    “Because life isn’t crazy enough with just one dog!” (I don’t mean crazy in a pejorative sense Heather)

    “Everybody Poops. Especially Coco”

    Dooce-“the website has gone to dogs”

    I think I’m not cut out for this line of work 🙂

  • Alicia

    2008/02/29 at 1:57 pm

    “Dooce: Because I care. Except, sometimes I don’t.”

  • Kit

    2008/02/29 at 1:57 pm

    1. Full Frontal Poodity

    2. Why, if only the dog were constipated.

    3. Dear, you’re so full of whimsy.
    Oh… can you smell that from over there?

  • Timothy

    2008/02/29 at 1:58 pm

    “Dooce: Have faith, will unravel.”

  • gijyun

    2008/02/29 at 1:59 pm

    well. i think comment #368 summed it up right nicely.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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