This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

A list of sorts

1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I’m trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.

2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.

3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There’s this quote I heard once, I don’t remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, “When it was over.” THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.

4. It’s a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck’s head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I’ll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you’re not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn’t eat any, although he wasn’t interested in them anyway as they weren’t made out of cow.

5. It’s a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I’d mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.

Go.

  • My nominations:
    “YEEAW! YEEAW! YEEAWING! since 2001.”
    “I’d give you half of my liver and a kidney.”
    “Giving vital organs since 2001.”
    “Dooce: the words you blog when you haven’t slept in six weeks.”
    “Tracking poop-prints and site hits since 2001.”

    Cheers!

  • Dooce: Where vagabond canines will always have a home.

  • COCOLICIOUS!

  • myl

    Beware the Ides of Coco……..

  • Jodi

    “Wake me up before you Co-Co”

  • Getting ferociously pooped on since Christmas 2007

    Man are you gonna have fun with the suggestions people come up with. There has been an awful lot of poop in your life this passed month, and I imagine most of them will have to do with that.

    Hee.

  • Anonymous

    Huffin’ and Puffin’ since 2001.

  • “Getting Dooced Isn’t The Worst Thing That Can Happen To A Person”

  • All the MILF that’s fit to print!

  • Courtney

    Dooce: Where we know what Country Ribs are.

  • Heather

    how about:

    “I’m f***king Matt Damon AND Ben Affleck”

    Have you seen those videos? They’re hilarious!

  • Beth

    I hope when Chuck goes you will bid him more than a medium adieu.

  • “FREE DOG CRAP!!
    Now that I’ve got your attention….”

  • I’m feeling inspired by this post and think you should go with:

    Made out of Cow: 100% edible

  • Melissa

    Here are my suggestions:

    “Under Seige of the Nutburger” or “Why do I want to kill her?”

    Loving the site, as usual – I pull it up each and every day!

  • Please Bless This Bacon That It Will Nourish And Strengthen Our Bodies. inthenameofjesuschristamen.

  • Anonymous

    “Living the dream. Salt Lake City, March 2008”

    “Not quite like a martini, but close.”

    or #13 (bravo!)

  • Anonymous

    Something to do with Chuck being a ‘Plastic Paddy’

  • do you think you might come back to memphis for a book signing? We feel a little silly here that we let you get away BEFORE you went and got all famous & shit.

  • Robin

    How about “Kiss Me I’m Mormon”

  • My votes are for #13 or #86. (although so many great ones here, people)

    How about: “Thinking ‘anonymous’ is an asshole since 2001”.

  • Kathleen

    “like strapping a giant rubber band to your face”

  • kristen

    Smelling puppy butts since 2001.

    I mean that in a respectful fashion, of course.

  • Kristen

    Poop happens.

  • Tamara

    Dooce is Mom Jeans.

  • Anonymous

    Making Noses Crinkle for 8 Years

  • Lorie

    Pissing all over the Internet since 2001

  • Staci

    Can’t beat Jordan’s idea although I love what Bio said too.

    Congrats on the anniversary.

  • could you please have a naming contest more than once a year? dooce readers are almost as clever as the dooce herself!
    or, a “stuff on chuck’s head” contest?

  • Kathleen

    “The Audacity of Poop”

  • Gail

    Poop: It’s what’s for dinner.

    Dooce: Loving the hate mail since 2001

    Dooce: Not to be confused with giving a shit.

  • “Madder than a March Hare”

  • How about “Dooce: Now With Puppy Poop Polka Dots.”

  • “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands”

    “Can you hear me now?”

    “Yes we can”

    “No animals were harmed during the writing of this blog.”

    “Pull my finger.”

  • Gail

    One more.

    Dooce: It’s like your mom, only better.

  • Seattleite

    October is Depression Awareness Month, but in light of Jon’s courageous posts yesterday and today, I suggest:

    Dooce: Brought to you by the power of SSRIs.

  • Anne

    “We Don’t Eat Poopy”

  • nassin2

    Welcome to Club Coco Loco……..

  • Poodles

    Coco Vs. Chuck: The Showdown!

  • Well, though I’d vote for #13 too, I’m throwing my hat in the ring with “Cuckoo for Coco Poops”, because that $50 iTunes gift card would buy me a lot of David Hasselhoff singles. I hear “Hot Shot City” is particularly good.

  • Zreekee

    Masthead: “ARRR, blow me down Matey!”

    dress Chuck up as a pirate and Coco as his first mate or parrot.

    I got this idea cuz March is usually a windy month, and pirates are cool.

    I can just imagine the cuteness of Chuck and Coco dressed up!

  • Dooce: if you think this is a feminine hygiene product, you’re saying it incorrectly.

  • Kirsten

    How about:

    “Magically Delicious”

    **with a picture of Coco gnawing on Chuck’s neck, Chuck has his trademark long-suffering gaze, and he is balancing Lucky Charms on his head**

  • kim

    Suggestion for Masthead:

    “In Like a Lion (picture of ferocious Chuck) out like a Lamb (picture of Calm sleeping Coco)”

    On second thought it might have to be “lioness” coco, and “lambesque” Chuck. 🙂

  • “freshly-squeezed dooce”

  • Ashley

    how about “The Raveonettes are fucking sweet”

    because…they are…sweet…?

  • lyz

    One simple word:

    pw3nd

  • Dooce: Much Different Than Life On A Beach With A Margarita…

  • thejunebug

    marinated in the bathtub for extra flavor

  • Brenda

    “YEEAW! YEEAW! YEEAWING!”