An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

To replace the other song you had stuck in your head

Get ready for the most fantastic 35 seconds of your life:

I have watched this video over 40 times this morning, stopping each time to cherish the look on the guy’s face at about 24 seconds in. And it gets better every time.

This video is about so much more than a simple bidet, it’s a challenge. It’s asking you if your life is fulfilling. No really, is it? Because if you’re not making faces like these at least once a day YOU DON’T KNOW FULFILLING.

(thank you, Bucky)

  • You may have seen this already, but I was so inspired to send it to you.


  • That was totally amazing – and you were right about the face 24 seconds in. I snorted out loud with laughter at my desk at the sheer awesomeness of it! Love the LooLoo!

  • Lovebuzz

    Someone stated that the bidet would eliminate the need for toilet paper. Save on paper? Really? I’ve never actually seen one, but unless it has one of those built-in air dryers like in a public restroom, you’re really going to want to wipe your dripping wet ass before you leave. Am I wrong?

  • Jen

    So THIS is what was missing in my life. Loo Loo is the key to my eternal happiness! Damn. All that chocolate consumption was such a waste.

  • OK, even without sound (stupid work computer w/out speakers) that was funny.

  • LooLoo … why can’t we all have LooLoos. Sparkling ass cracks are essential, especially with low cut jeans.

  • Sarah Clayton

    Holy crap … that is hysterical

  • Renee

    Welcome to Clean Is Happy

    Lovebuzz, some models do have driers. And remotes. And air purifiers. And *music* (actually just the sound of a toilet flushing over and over.) We have the Toto C100 model and we really like it. Plus, it’s big fun at parties.

  • Debster

    Reminds me of this that I used in Japan and no, I did not wash my buttocks …

  • Tami Wyatt

    I went to a sushi restaurant in Apple Valley, Ca. and they had one of these things in their public restroom. I coudln’t help but being grossed out at the idea of sharing a bidet with the general public.

  • Clearly I am missing out on the finer things in life. I’m all about being clean and sanitary but I just don’t know if I would enjoy a LooLoo THAT much!

  • Heather…for the past week I’ve been reading back from the beginning of your blog. In my tiny little brain, you’ve just moved to Utah. And since I’ve been reading your current entries for a while, it’s fun picking up on all the foreshadowing.

    The entries before you got fired made me a little tense and those about “The Roommate” gave me butterflies and a deep jealousy I didn’t need at the moment.

    Anyway…now I’m going to be thinking about Asians orgasming in the bathroom while using their brand new piss-yellow bidet. Ughhhghgh. Thanks. A LOT.



    seriously. i could use a bidet orgasm right about now.

    <3, enjolie

  • Dena

    OMG! I was at a Karaoke place down in Korea Town in Hollywood on Saturday night and THEY HAD ONE OF THESE ON THE TOILETS! I had no idea what the hell it was and wasn’t about to start pushing buttons! How funny, glad I now know how thankful I didnt start it up…LOL!

  • Wow, loo loo, that is definitely my word for the day, and it is so much cooler than bidet…How boring is that! But it can take on so many other meanings. Thanks again for sharing.

  • Thanks for nearly giving me piles from laughing so hard!

  • The refreshing answer to my prayers (and itch)!

  • KAS

    I.. But .. They .. It’s a ..

    Okay, so, um.

    That is absolutely wonderful.

    In a very creepy, wildly inappropriate way.

    Why the hell don’t we enjoy potty time like that in America? Because we DON’T KNOW JOY.

  • beth

    I didn’t get a chance to say earlier…
    I cracked up at the picture of Chuck with the coral on his head…. he totally looks like the dog in the Grinch that Stole Christmas! With the antler tied to his head!!
    I love it!

  • Johnny

    I used one of these in Japan. It is everything the commercial promises, and more.

    Some of them even blow-dry your butt.

  • Thank you, Heather, for getting the damned hippo song out of my mind after MONTHS. Now I’m singing a freakin’ song about bidets! BLOODY HELL! Though I must admit that I’d like a Loo-Loo, too. First off, it sounds like something straight out of Dr. Seuss. And, anything that puts that kind of expression on someone’s face is a must-have!

  • Oh. Mah. GAWD.

    That is absolutely flippin’ priceless!

  • The world would be a better place if everyone on the planet was required to own one.

  • Anonymous

    Can you imagine being the ad exec that has to work up a marketing plan for a bidet?

    Then, think about the people marketing “feminine” lubricants, etc.

    THEN, think about the focus groups….

    Yes, you too can get a college degree and make lots of money!

  • ì°¸ 이상해요.

  • If that bidet could also mow the grass and wash the cars, I wouldn’t need a husband!

  • This is my first visit to your blog, but I find it interesting and in places amusing. I can definitely relate to your dog’s antics, as I have a Pomeranian who does things we would never have the foresight to prevent.

  • Amy

    Who knew using the bathroom could be so exhilerating? They’re so excited about it, like it’s some new video game! Here, press THIS button now!

  • Anonymous

    those toilets are scary! i tried to use one at a restaurant in Seoul, Korea (the commercial is Korean, btw). had never seen one before. my friend in the next stall had the same problem. we couldn’t figure out how to flush, both pressed the wrong button, and — woooooosh!

    oops. ^O^

  • NoCal

    So you are endorsing Japanese toilets? Sorry, it’s a simple bidet and the marketing machine behind it, which you seem to be in bed with, would like us all to believe it’s about having a “fulfilling” life and a LooLoo toilet will edge us one step closer to such a life. Your product endorsement sickens me.

  • i tried to convince my husband we should install a bidet in our bathroom when we redo it this summer, but he said i was crazy. perhaps this video will change his mind 🙂

  • Leesavee

    Hey, NoCal (comment 80) — Apparently, you don’t understand Heather’s sense of humor. This is NOT a product endorsment. It is, however, a hilarious commercial. Get a grip, dear. Maybe you should get a LooLoo…sure sounds like you should loosen things up down there.

  • If only I could see it. Still on dial up out here at Rancho Relaxo. I have tried one of those fancy Japanese seats though and found the rear end cleaning to be highly pleasurable. Plus, you can’t beat the pre-warmed seat. I wonder if I could install one in an outhouse?

  • Hi everyone, this commercial is KOREAN. And quite dated…Anyway, I was so scared to press one of those buttons when I was in Seoul last summer, scared that it’d start making gargling and slurping noises.

  • Oh my ever-loving GOD! I do not EVEN want to know what was going on in that guy’s nether regions! Hil-freakin’-arious!

  • Oh my ever-loving GOD! I do not EVEN want to know what was going on in that guy’s nether regions! Hil-freakin’-arious!

  • amy

    i can’t see the video (yet) because of the computer i’m currently on, but i will as soon as i get to a different computer.

    however, i would like to input my thoughts about bidets: bidets freak me out. i like dry wiping–i’m an expert at it, and i feel more in control of the aim. although, each time i’ve been in a hotel that has bidets in the bathrooms, i feel kind of special. sort of swank. like i’m in on a secret no one else knows about. sort of.

    …..i do hear that in japan they have courtesy buttons in all the public restrooms. if you’re making “noises,” (YOU know what i’m talking about) you press this button. then the only thing other people in the bathroom hear is a loud buzzing sound…that way, everyone around you is blissfully unaware you are not in control of your ass.

    the japanese are brilliant like that. BRILLIANT.

  • Very interesting and the comments were humorous.
    I wonder if this Loo-Loo device is common and does it provide any benefit other than obvious joy expressed on their faces.

  • I think my vagina needs this bidet.

  • Min

    ahahaha, Korean commercials crack me up… btw, all Korean commercials are pretty exaggerated like this, whether it be about pizza, soft drink, or bidets.

  • How can the previous commentor bring up pizza at a time like this? No dinner humor at the potty!

  • Thanks! I needed a laugh this morning!! 😉

  • The first thought I had was that this was really twisted then it dawned on me that this was either a political statement on “water boarding” or a new kind of aversion therapy to use on new puppies when they take a dump in “no dump land”.

  • Man have I been starting my mornings off ALL WRONG 😉

  • Denise

    My brother actually has one of these in his home in Seattle. He loves it! I tried it and thought it was weird. I jumped up when the water first hit my “gennies”. Plus, it took way to long to blow everything dry. I’m sticking w/good ole fashioned T.P.

    P.S. Here in USA, it’s called the Washlet (by Toto). They are about $1000!!!

  • My mom got a Japanese toilet. I used it once but couldn’t bring myself to press a button, because I didn’t know what would happen. But I bet whenever Mom uses it, her face is just like that…

  • Jennsa

    Bidets freak me out too, the mere possibility of pushing the wrong button and having everything go the wrong direction terrifies me.

    In response to Amy (#87), if you are in a public wash room ‘making noises’, and you push your courtesy button to mask the sound your ass is making wouldn’t every one else in the washroom know exactly what you’re up to in there?

    I mean, if you’ve all got a button, you are going to know exaxtly what’s going on in there, and probably who’s making the noise too. Doesn’t seem to save you much embarassment, imho.

    People really need to get over the fact that each and every one of us makes ‘bathroom’ noises when we use the bathroom. It’s totally natural.

  • Dirty bum? Clean it up with loo loo. Fabulous!

  • That video makes me all the more convicted that bidets are the best thing ever. (It makes sense in my germ-obsessed mind that cleansing the area is far superior to rubbing dry paper on it.) I am totally getting one when I have my own house!

  • Ahahahahahaaaa! Thank you for that.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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