My heart’s beating like a rabbit

A little over a month ago some good people from Nintendo came to my house and threw a Wii Fit party. My job was to gather up ten of my friends and prepare them to be humiliated by their Wii Fit age, something determined by your BMI/weight, your age, and some balancing acts that would cause a veteran circus performer to fall over. I don’t think it helped that almost everyone had consumed at least two glasses of wine before attempting to balance themselves on one foot, or that some of them like myself would have a hard time balancing on one foot when completely sober. On average, everyone’s Wii Fit age was about 10 years older than their actual age. Except for a certain 24-year-old who has yet to be beaten down by life, so of course, she aced the balancing tests. This is one of the problems with the Wii Fit, that it doesn’t allow you to input all the years of therapy you’ve been through, the sleepless nights, the hours and weeks and months spent worrying about your kids, that one Thanksgiving dinner with your in-laws, how you almost filed for bankruptcy, or the countless times your boss belittled you in front of the entire company. Because if you take all that into account then MY GOD, IT’S A MIRACLE YOU’RE STILL STANDING. In those instances the Wii Fit should hand you a cigarette.

My Wii Fit age was 35 (I’ll be 33 next month), which isn’t too bad, but it’s something I’m definitely going to work on as part of the overall changes I’d like to see in my life. The reason I’m even writing about this is because Nintendo has agreed to give me five Wii and Wii Fit systems (as a set) to give away to five of my readers.

I get approached to do things like this all the time, but this is the first time I’ve done a give away because this is a product I use, something in my house, something I’d love to share with you. Nintendo is not paying me to do this, and just to clear up some confusion, I would never accept money to post about anything here. That’s not how this website works. Everything you see in my style section is something I have bought with my own money or is a gift sent to me from one of my readers, a gift I would have gone out and bought had I known about it beforehand, something that fits right in with my aesthetic. I work very hard to make sure that you can trust that what I say here is in no way influenced by advertisers or corporations who are trying to reach a bunch of eyeballs. Your eyeballs deserve as much.

The give away is going to work like this: I’m going to leave comments open on this post until Wednesday July 2nd at 5:00 PM Mountain Daylight Time. You are free to leave a comment as many times as you want, preferably a comment about the Wii Fit and what you think it might do for you or your family, and then on Wednesday night after I close comments I’m going to call The Avon World Sales Leader (my mother, for those who are just joining us), tell her how many comments there are, and then ask her to list off five random numbers between one and that number. She will not have read the comments, so the only thing she will be influenced by is The Spirit. And maybe the vodka she had in her orange juice that morning. HA HA! Just kidding. My mom doesn’t drink orange juice.

By commenting on this post you agree to the terms and rules of this give-away (read here) and, should you be selected as a winner, consent to letting me use your name when I announce the winners. Anonymous comments and comments without a valid email address will be disqualified.

Winners will be announced Thursday morning. Ready, set, go!