An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

A furious magician

I was reading through some of my favorite websites yesterday when I stumbled across a YouTube link on Metafilter that pretty much screwed up the rest of my day. Jon heard me playing it on my computer and was so disturbed by the sound of it that he walked over and we watched it together, over and over again, and then we spent the next eight hours quoting it to each other and laughing until we cried. And then late last night we both reached the conclusion that this is a pretty good litmus test for relationships, because you’re either going to love this video or despise it. And I could see someone going, you know what? I can’t believe you think that this piece of crap is funny, and the fact that you do makes everything else you do so much more annoying. Like what? Like how about those gerbil noises you make when you eat Corn Flakes. Or how you clip your toenails IN BED. Also, I hate it when you keep repeating the word pussy when we’re having sex. And everything that has ever gone wrong between this someone and their significant other comes right up to the surface, all because these two kids had to go and give the world this present:

“A discussion with Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve.”

But what makes this video even more genius to me are the comments left on Metafilter about it, like “I think metafilter just jumped the shark” and “weak and pointless” and “I didn’t get it either.” And I’m guessing that if I was in a relationship with any of those people and they saw how hard I laughed when I first saw this video that they’d be cursing the fact that we had ever swapped saliva.

  • Ely

    Oh man i’m going to be quoting this for a while…this was hilarious

  • Stacy

    It wasn’t funny, or smart, or anything else. People just want to feel that they are part of something cool. Have the strength to admit there was nothing there.

  • Hilarious, but now I’m going to have nightmares about it or repeat it incessantly in my head for days! Thanks so much…

  • Anonymous

    I’m with the “huh?” crowd. It’s probably really funny if you have any idea what he’s on about.

    And I’m also commenting just for the hilarity of a ReCaptcha of Everingham as.

  • Acher

    That is completely pointless, and ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN HYSTERICAL. I laughed so loud it startled my lazy ass hound dogs into action… Spencer.

  • I will be in the “finding it fabulous” camp. My ability to creep out the people around me has increased ten-fold.

  • Jason

    Huh? Is it because I’m Canadian? I was waiting for the “hilarious” part and it never came.

    I’ve never wanted my time back on a Dooce post, but I think I want my time x5 please. 🙁

  • Anonymous

    Way to piss in the Post Toasties there, Stacy.

    If someone else wet their pants and fell out of their chair, then yay for them — we can never laugh enough when the economy sucks and jobs suck and bosses suck, and well, you know.

    If you didn’t find it funny, well, Dooce will post more tomorrow.

    I didn’t laugh, but I also didn’t feel it necessary to pee all over everybody else’s enjoyment, either.

  • Jenski

    Well, I didn’t even crack a smile, sorry! The only redeeming thing about watching it was listening to Prokoviev’s music (Romeo & Juliet)

  • Well, at least we found out early that our relationship will never work. We can still be friends, right?

  • Jen

    I can’t concentrate … I keep wanting to put lipstick on him.

  • kristy

    People who didn’t like it are completely right, it’s pointless and stupid. There’s no secret punch line. But I thought it was hilarious probably because I’m a 13 year old boy on the inside , partly because I like to blurt out nonsensical things when I’m bored or just want to see my friends and family shake their heads at me.

  • I’ll admit, I was laughing and I will probably spend a week laughing every time I hear the name Spencer. Damn you, Dooce.

  • Kate
  • Kim

    Nope. Not funny. Or I didn’t get it. Except the Harry Potter reference, of course. And his teeth are really disgusting.

  • Brilliant! Best thing I’ve seen all day!
    Oh gosh, still cant stop giggling. Must watch it again.

  • notmuchofacook

    Completely clueless here. Although I do agree with the poster who referenced Ernie Kovacs (#42)and I usually appreciated and “got” his humor.
    I imagine I’ll live to laugh another day–especially if I hear “furious magician.”

  • Sarah

    And there’s three and half minutes of my life I’ll never get back…sorry Dooce, gotta disagree with you on this one.

  • I have to admit I might be missing something “more” to this video since “I don’t get it”. But that’s not the point. The point is it did, however, make me crack up. It’s sickeningly quote worthy for no damn reason and I love it for just that reason.

  • camille Patti

    I in no way understand what the hell is going on but am still laughing hysterically.

  • I loved the first minute…I was laughing….at “You’re the Architect of my dreams Spencer. You plan them and build them on blue paper and then hand them to me. And then I dream them. That’s what you do for me, Spencer. Thank you for that, Spencer. You prick”

    That and “you’re old oats” made me laugh.

    Other than that, I seriously wanted that kid to get to a dentist, pronto. All I could think about was The Big Book of British Smiles.

  • I have never felt as completely clueless as I did trying to get what was funny about this. I too want my 3 1/2 minutes back. I’m 63 years old and can’t afford to piss away 210 seconds like that.

  • J-lo

    Hah! Spencer just sits there!

    And, AaaaHH close up of upper lip hair!!!

  • Brett

    I will never get that 3 min. & 33 sec. back. There must be some deep meaning to it all that I didn’t get. Or do you have to be high off your ass to get it?

  • KAS

    In agreement with a couple of other posters, you need to see the music version of the original video you posted:

    To explain some of this, Neil Cicierega and his sister Emmy, who are both in Ryan Murphy’s Beowulf that another poster has linked on YouTube, and who are also responsible for the musical version of Ben Bernanke by Lemon Demon, have also done extensive work on a very popular phenomenon called “The Potter Puppet Pals” which can be easily searched on YouTube. Anyone who has seen the Harry Potter movies or read the books will be able to find the humor in these shorts, and best of all, they are (relatively) kid-friendly, as long as said kid has a sense of humor and is old enough to understand the jokes.

    The humor involved in things like these clips is the same sort of humor that inspired Monty Python – there is really nothing to “get”, nothing to understand. It’s just silly, mostly inside jokes, or things that have never been jokes before now.

  • Hm. Well……I’m glad you found each other.

  • Smackumup

    I have tears streaming down my cheeks. I hope no one here at my office heard me giggling uncontrollably in my cubie.

  • Thanks to KAS (#75). The music video is actually pretty good, even if it doesn’t make any sense, and especially after watching the non-music version. Also, silly humor is good for the soul, but it’s a lot easier to ‘get’ Monty Python than these guys.

  • ana

    makes me curious whether you’ve ever watched the mighty boosh?

    take a look:

  • Now that was one of the funniest things I think I’ve seen on youtube ever.

  • Miko

    It felt kind of like a de-contexted Frisky Dingo sketch that’s been stretched out to four times its normal length. have seen Frisky Dingo, right?

  • Owen

    I agree with the above: put me in the “I think this is fabulous” camp. My friends and I, when we were in highschool, used to do ridiculous radio plays along the lines of this. We were the only ones who found them funny, spencer, but oh, OH!, how we laughed.

  • Rebekah

    So…. my response was WTF??? But I showed it to my husband who is losing it laughing. He claims it’s “horrible crap, but it’s funny” and that he’ll never watch it again. I dunno… I don’t get it – except the “architect of my dreams” bit, which is pretty silly in itself. I wonder what that says about our marriage?

  • Meranath

    LOL wut?

  • April

    That was funny!

  • jessica

    Wow! I am lost on this one.

  • Treska

    It was the weirdest thing. I watched it all the way through, occasionally snickering a bit, but mostly feeling bemused. Then about a minute after it ended, some of the lines were running through my head and I burst into hysterical, uncontrollable giggles. I couldn’t stop laughing and I had tears pouring down my face. I want to watch it again so I can quote it properly.

    I agree with KAS. I don’t think that there’s really anything to *get*. It’s just absurd, funny, and random. And eminently quotable. I need to show this to my boyfriend so that we can quote it to each other at random times.

    Thank you, Heather, for brightening my day with this little sweetmeat of absurdity.

  • Heather… That was SO. PAINFUL. that I think I have contracted bone cancer.


  • And! And! My poor friend who named her son “Spencer”. May she never see this video and be haunted every time she calls her son to breakfast.

  • Lighten up

    Stop worrying about what it says about you and realize that it doesn’t have to “mean” anything.

    Your precious time you “want back”? You will NEVER get it back, Spencer.

  • It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and made my eyebrows go way up my forehead. You and Jon must be sick, sick people. Just kidding.

    The look on “Spencer’s” face made me laugh a little. The metafilter comments made me laugh most of all. I’m still laughing!:

    “I thought it was going to have something to do with Ben Bernanke.”

    “I don’t think I can relate to this is a fashion that resembles that of any other mefites. Both of these guys look equally just like me, but in different ways, and I don’t need the internet posting videos of me yelling absurdities at myself.”

    Ho ho… 🙂

    And a slightly related link, also posted on metafilter:

    hee, hee, hee

  • Throughout the whole thing, I kept thinking how badly he needs a haircut.

  • jaxsdamax

    LOVE IT!

  • It is also a good litmus test for mother/16-year-old daughter relationships. We both laughed.

    In fact, my daughter just told me that she can’t put into words what she thinks of the video, so she’s going to EMAIL ME HER THOUGHTS.

    Not sure how she’s going to do that WITHOUT words.

  • Now, I probably didn’t get it because I have absolutely nothing to do with politics. At all. Ever.

    But, that boy is going to go far with that voice. And that mouth. I bet he could suck nails out of wood.

  • Karyn

    no one’s teeth are safe in our house anymore.

  • heathabee

    I immediately sent this to my best friend so we can start quoting it.

  • #99

    Make sure to brush and floss before bed!

  • Why is that funny? And why am I laughing? LOL

  • I get it. this is like one of those japanese riddles.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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