An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Figuring it out

Internet, can I talk to you about something and not have you walk away thinking I’m more of a freak than you ever gave me credit for? Yes, my second toe is longer than my big toe, so much in fact that I could hire it out as the villain in your nightmares, but this isn’t about the odd shape of my feet or the fact that I cut my hair to look like Peter Pan.

It’s this: I dread the weekend.

Don’t worry, I’ve talked to my therapist about this, so I’m not really asking you to diagnosis me. I know better than to do such a thing because inevitably someone is all THIS MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO DIE. Or THAT ONCE HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER AND NOW HE’S MISSING A THUMB.

It’s an inexplicable dread, and I guess I’m asking just in case any of you have ever experienced this. It could be related to postpartum depression, I suppose, since Marlo has become so grumpy lately (teething? Armstrong genes?) that I’m constantly reminded of those early days with Leta when I didn’t know what to do to get the noise to stop. And so on the weekends when the kids and not work are my primary focus I have to brace for hours and hours of moaning and screaming.

Do not misinterpret: I said primary focus, not priority. My kids are always my top priority. Well, right behind hot dogs.

Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t escape into work, or at least refuse to do so. In an effort to keep our lives balanced we agreed to work as little on the weekends as possible—good in theory except when the White House is trying to get in contact with you and you aren’t checking your email. Because my friend Maggie who knows someone who knows someone who works there had to call early that Monday morning and be all ARMSTRONG, WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THE WHITE HOUSE.

Because I’m trying to give my screaming baby more attention, MR. PRESIDENT.

But then, it’s not just the screaming, although that is a big part of it. I remind myself of my mother more and more every day in the sense that it’s hard for me to sit still knowing there are a million projects I could be working on. I can’t sit on the couch and read a magazine anymore, and it’s driving me crazy. You can just imagine how much Jon wants to shoot me to put him out of his misery.

I can start to feel the anxiety creep up early Friday morning, and by dinner time I’m pacing. Surprisingly, I can sleep, but probably only because it means I don’t have to think about the following two days. And then Saturday morning when I could start the day a little more slowly, when I should take it a bit easier, I run for the kitchen, Marlo on my hip, and I start cleaning. And I don’t stop until Sunday night. Because slowing down doesn’t feel right. In fact, it makes me sick.

Is this the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard?

  • Lar

    Weekends are hard for me, too, and the guilt I feel over that makes it worse. I work full-time and commute about 1-1/2 hours a day, so I basically only see my kids (ages 11 & 8) for about 3 hours a day. I love them DEARLY, would give my life for either of them, but weekends make me a little punchy. There’s just so much . . . togetherness.

    I usually escape on Sunday afternoons for a little while, make a Sonic run and maybe hit the library, just to get a little quiet time.

  • emmiem

    Heather! I know what it is. It’s your past Sunday church attendance. I’ve been active LDS for 35 years and I HATE Sundays. They are the most stressful day of the week! Day of Rest, my ass! That’s what it is, you have Post Traumatic Stress from all those Sundays. Relax and enjoy your Sundays now!

  • This Scientist

    I don’t know if it will help you or not, but either exercising or making something (usually cooking, rearranging a room, or being crafty) helps me. I think I get like that when either my body or brain have been cooped up too long, so expending that energy in a big burst at least skims some off the top, to where I’m tolerant/tolerable again.

    I think I need a certain quota of creativity and physical expenditure every day, and if that doesn’t get met I become a big antsy ball of cranky.

  • Alevai

    Don’t really have anything to say, but I just wanted to send some good vibes your way.

  • billysSillyCoconut

    This is symptom of the Motherhood Syndrome.

    1. Sign Leta up for an early Saturday morning class at Gymboree and sign you and Marlo up for a Mommy & Me class at Gymboree.

    2. Hire a housekeeper to come in on Saturday mornings.

    3. Go to the class and when you come home the housework will be done.

    4. Check your email while they nap – they will be pooped out – guilt-free because you’ve just spent quality, fun, mommy-time with the girls.

    5. They wake up and your computer time is over for the day.

    6. On Sunday, Jon takes the girls for quality, fun daddy-time while you do whatever you feel compelled to do – guilt-free because they are with daddy.

    (I do not work for Gymboree, and have never been there, but I hear it’s great. The logic is that if you pay for it, you will go. Tell Leta about it and she won’t let you out of it. It’s like gymnastics, but without the communist coaches from hell.)

  • ChrissyD

    When my youngest was an infant, I would have panic & anxiety from the time my husband left for work until about two hours before he came home. I couldn’t even eat until around 2pm.

    I honestly never enjoyed my children when they were babies. I like them so much more now that they are walking, talking little people.

  • sheameister

    Man, love these comments. TOTALLY relate. I also do not like babies… The 4-year old is really getting to be a joy, but the 16-month old is such a pain in my ass I want to scream and run away. I feel like my entire life is nothing but me chasing the baby, redirecting, and saying, “No.” “No garbage.” “No flushing.” “No, no no!” It is miserable.

    I was just approached by colleagues from the job I had *before* kids about the possibility of returning–from home. At first, I was thinking, “Ok, but only if I can do it part time.” Because… you know, I needed to spend at least part of my time with the kids. But I was/am just lying to myself. I want that job. Full time. I want it and I’m going to go for it… and it was reading all these comments that has given me the push I needed. Woot! Thanks, Dooce.

  • eddeaux

    I’m self-employed too and I know how you feel. For me I hate the weekends because it means the entire world is off work and so everything is busier. I can’t have a quiet 2pm lunch at Panera or get my car washed because everyone else is doing those things and I’ve gotten used to the off-beat pace of self-employed life and I never want to go back to the dreaded 9-5.

    Also, my parents instilled in me that it is practically a sin to sleep in and so I get up every day at 7 a.m. without an alarm clock and then I feel guilty if I don’t have something productive to do… perhaps your parents did the same to you. But for the most part, I think what you feel is pretty normal.

  • katliz

    My husband and I have very demanding jobs: he’s a media planner for an ad agency, I’m the director of marketing for a retail chain. While we don’t have kids, we have another huge clusterfuck of a responsibility at home…

    We are completely gutting and renovating the 120-year old house

    I enjoy the weekend for 2 seconds every Saturday AM, then am stressed beyond belief as I try to decide what project I should jump into. Grouting the kitchen floor? Staining the moulding in the half bath? Redoing the caulking that my live-in-father-in-law installed while drunk?

    I usally end up curled up on the couch watching 90210 reruns on Soapnet or a Law & Order marathon, replacing my stress with guilt as I ponder when it would be late enough to pour my first glass of wine.

    I hear ya, sister. And while I don’t envy your children (couldn’t ever do the Mom thing), seeing pictures of your gorgeous, immaculate house sometimes drive me crazy. And back to the abyss of the Brandon/Kelly/Dylan love triange.

  • teksupddg

    Well, I am a person who gets trapped by the “shoulds” and although I’m not a mom, I get the impression that lots of mothers and probably fathers although they are less vocal about it, get trapped by the shoulds.

    I ask myself who is the voice in my head telling me about how I “should” spend my time, or how I “should” care about this, that, or the other thing.

    if it’s the dogs telling me I should care about their dinner, then I can pretty much agree that maybe it’s feeding time and load ’em up on Ketsup and hotdogs and bacon and dirt (Lily likes dirt).

    if it’s the host of little voices trying to turn me into a drone of a person with “I should go find a man (forget the whole I like women thing) then i get to shut them up.

    so all i’m saying is re-evaluate the “shoulds” and if it serves a purpose keep it. if it becomes a problem then maybe another option exists.

  • bluii76

    I am a stay at home mom and I am starting to dread Saturdays. I want to be excited for the weekend but during the week I can take things at my own pace. kids are at school. Nobody looks at me funny if I spend 30 minutes on the computer playing a silly game before I do household tasks. Come the weekend there’s 3 extra pairs of eyes watching what I do, what I don’t do and asking for all thier little needs and at least one person ( my dear sweet, husband) wants to take on all those extra tasks that didn’t get accomplished during the week and we have family and friends that all want a piece of us. Its just so overwhelming when all I really want to do is go to the park for a picnic and enjoy our limited family time.
    In short, it doesn’t sound dumb. I am there, on the other side of the fence.

    ps. I love the school vacations though! I don’t have to get up early and nag the kids all day to do this or that. We can take things in our time and still accomplish stuff, or not. 🙂

  • TexasKatie

    Not dumb at ALL. Every weekend, I find myself doing some other project… this weekend, it was painting my stepson’s bedroom. The weekend before, it was gardening and landscaping. Next weekend, it will be cleaning out the garage. There is always SOMETHING – while I love the weekends because it is a break from work, I rue them because it is the start of a project. ACK!

  • bubbles

    Wow! I am a SAHM of a baby and a preschooler. I also have anxiety attacks when the weekend comes. . .I haven’t really figured out why. The other week I was checking out a website called PostSecret and there was a posting from someone that read, “My greatest desire is to love my life as I’m living it”. This has become my new mantra, especially when I’m loosing my mind.
    When the baby is crying and I’m about to cry sometimes I just hold and rock her and repeat that phrase over and over. I know someday I will look back and miss these days with my kids.
    Somehow just being more present, even in the bad moments, makes it a little better. Instead of worrying what isn’t getting done, or why I’m not feeling a certain way, or how I missing out on something else I think I want to do. . .I just breathe.

  • snomum00

    I know exactly how you feel! So, if it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, then we’re both dumb!! 🙂 I too have anxiety. A few months back when I was tweaking my meds, I absolutely dreaded the weekends! Once my meds came up to speed and I realized that it was lack of routine on the weekends that freaked me the hell out, it got better. Once Monday rolled back around, I felt better in my own skin, even though is was back to the usual daily grind! I tried to keep busy on the weekends as well (counterproductive, I know!)which helped a bit! Now that the nice weather is rolling around again, things are looking up! Thanks for your blog! Started reading over the winter…really helped me get through my panic/anxiety! Keep up the great work!!!

  • Leball

    I feel like you do sometimes. But I only have one son. He’s 2 1/2. I’m a single mom, and I have the weekends off, I have him every single morning, in the evening. He is the best thing that happened to me, but when he throws tantrums non stop, when no can just take him for a minute before I loose it, I would say the anxiety compares to yours. I think maybe we put so much pressure on ourselves. We want to be the best at everything and when we see our cracks, ugh, anxiety attack happens. Sorry! Hang in there!

  • Elizabeth Greene

    This post reminds me of myself 25 years ago, when I, too, couldn’t stop moving. Once when my daughter was about 13 she came home from school and found me sitting on the couch with a book in my hand, probably a momentary stop motion action while dusting the spine that just looked like relaxation. She walked through the door and went pale at the sight of her mother in a posture of relaxation and shouted, “Mom, what’s wrong?”

    Now, many years later, I wish I had spent more time just relaxing with my family while the dust bunnies frolicked. It’s taken me so, so long to undo that knot in my head. It’s true that I have a high metabolism and inherited some ancestral trait that keeps me in motion. But there’s something beautiful about making a practice of being still and in the moment with the people in your life.

    I know you’re doing a lot, a tremendous amount and suspect that you’re a perfectionist. You’re doing a great job, better than great job. Your blog is always 110%. You could contribute 50% less effort and it would still be good enough. I say make a place for yourself on that couch. That’s my cautionary tale. I thank you so much for making me think, laugh, cry, your beautiful photography, honesty, risk taking.

  • gnbrown

    I’m 28 with no children and already have the problem of not being able to just sit and relax when there are so many THINGS that can be done. Drives my husband crazy.

  • d3 voiceworks

    i hope someone has suggested this by now but i’ll do it anyway: hyland’s homeopathic teething tablets. you can give the baby a few each hour and stay ahead of the “game.” i do so with lio and they work. they have chamomile in them so they’re calming and soothing. they melt in the mouth and my babe loves them. you can get them at smith’s, harmon’s, whole foods …

    also, tracy aviary, wheeler farm, hogle zoo, hiking, walking, coffee shop, etc etc are key. we fill our weekends with things so the time goes by. we also switch off, whereby dh gets some time on his bike, for example, and i get some time on mine. and, there’s ALWAYS deep cleaning that needs to be done 🙁

  • linuxchik

    not at all.

  • tracy

    See, i look forward to the weekend because A) I work outside of the home and B) so I can do all the shit I don’t have the energy to do during the week.

    I was born from two do-ers. My mom feels like her day is half over if she sleeps past 7, and my dad says there’s time to sleep when he’s dead. (he also lays in bed at 3am and worries. gee, I wonder where I got that from). So it’s no coincidence that I have a need to “do”. All the time. I multitask until I forgot what I started to do in the first place.

    Now, with a child, the need to “do” is magnified, and coupled with the desire to slow the fuck down & just BE with my daughter. I don’t want her to grow up seeing mommy always rushing rushing rushing. I want to be able to sit & at with her, but my mind gies to all the crap I “should” be doing.

    It’s a constant battle, and judging from the comments, one you are certainly not alone in. Or me. It’s not easy being a woman, a wife, a mother. I am amazingly lucky to have my parents (divorced and remarried) within 2 miles of me, and my brother & SIL 5 miles away. My parents watch Ellis during the week & I definitely have a “village”. That doesn’t make the chore list & project list, grocery shopping & endless dishes & laundry go away. And that doesn’t even count the things I WANT to do. Oh, the guilt for leaving those dirty dishes in the sink when I want to sew.

    I hope you find balance. I hope I find balance. Take a deep breath. Maybe it will get easier when Marlo’s a little older & can do some of the same activities as Leta? Just remember, the screaming will stop. You may have a new hurdle in its place, but you can handle it. You CAN.

    Hugs ~

  • OldGrayMare

    I don’t think its that uncommon for people with anxiety disorders to experience this, even when your medication is working. I have ADHD and I can’t sit still for a second unless I have something to totally focus on. Even then I am still mentally trying to do ten things at once, even if I’ve taken my Adderall.

    I know you’ve agreed that the weekends will be a time of rest, but if you’re open to suggestion, why not making yourself a “schedule.” So you want to relax, fine, but not having planned activity doesn’t really help you relax, does it? 🙂 So plan something relaxing. Breakfast out. A drive to a scenic destination. A walk or a trip to the park with the kids. Getting together with a friend. Pedicure. Reading the paper time. Movie time. If you have a plan, you know what to do and when. Make plans too for what you’re going to do when you start to feel anxious. That way you’ll have something concrete to focus on, instead of “nothing at all,” which clearly makes a big amount of room for your anxiety to ramp up.

    I only suggest this because it looks like you’re looking for suggestions…and because I know that my own disorders operate better when I plan ahead.

    Not everyone is capable of just relaxing with nothing on the schedule. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to relax. Just different ways. Frankly, I find reorganizing my cupboards INCREDIBLY relaxing. Drove my STBXH absolutely batshit crazy.

  • pinkone

    I don’t have kids; a major part of it was because I KNOW I CAN’T SLOW DOWN. No way, no how. the other part was the loss of control and having to put all my focus on a baby that can’t talk properly for several years. So, NO, you’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with it: just be aware of it and make sure the time spent with your kids passes quickly, in activities that are enjoyable to you both.

  • rudy

    Hmn…maybe you need a vacation. But there’s always the end of the vacation, where you anticipate getting back to being a mom and an adult and fear you can’t remember how. (I know I can never enjoy a vacation because I worry about coming back and somehow not being able to do anything as tho I’d completely forgotten how to change a diaper or feed a baby)

    I know the solution. Buy a raffle ticket for a quilt. All the proceeds go to a good cause and you like handmade quilts don’t you? When you win the quilt, you can cuddle up with it and think happy thoughts of how you helped someone out.

    Wait you don’t like quilts? Are you some sort of Nazi?

    Fine, I didn’t want your five dollars.

  • mom interrupted

    It’s kind of the same thing around here with bracing for the moaning and screaming, but sadly, it’s usually just me doing the whining these days.

    It’s NOT weird and when my kids were little I remember thinking “What are we going to do ALL weekend?” with a rising sense of panic.

  • linda_blevins

    I have some anxiety issues, and I have the same problem on the weekends. I used to teach school, and had terrible issues during the summer. e.g. I once purchased a 6 foot long and 4 foot wide table from Ebay at 3 in the morning, agreeing to go pick it up in my Buick 2 hours away.

    My advice: stay off Ebay and make a loose schedule for your self. A list did not usually work for me; it had to be a schedule. For example, before lunch, weed garden and play with baby; after lunch do 2 loads of laundry and call grandma on Skype, etc. After a while of loosely scheduling my free time, I was able to do it in my head and be more relaxed when my list items were done.

  • JennC

    Nah, don’t worry. You’re normal. I have 3 beautiful children for whom I would happily throw myself in front of a bus. But week-ends kill me. Week-ends make me want to find a bus to throw myself in front of.
    From Saturday morning to Sunday night I run a marathon of chores, because if I don’t? I have to play 5,847 games of Candy Land or read “Do Unto Otters” for the 1,2%4,K4r,300infinity time. And then I have to find that damn bus.

  • mkruzel

    Weekends are exhausting. I’m not quite with you on the dread part… but my second toe is longer than my big toe. Kindred toe spirits. I’m with you there.

  • Trapper1

    Sorry, I just thought that syndrome was called being a working mom. If I had a nickel for every time I caught my husband sitting around watching TV on the weekends while I worked myself (starting on Friday night) cleaning, and doing laundry nonstop all weekend, not to mention the grocery shopping. I could hire someone to do it all for me so I would actually have time to focus on my daughter. Since I don’t want to waste precious family time with housework during the work week, and there’s not much time left after fixing dinner anyway, all the chores get left for the weekend. If I don’t kill myself to get it done, it makes my work week that much more stressful. Don’t even get me started on how my in-laws think we need to go see them every other weekend. Like I’ve got time to sit around someone else’s house while the laundry piles up and the house is a wreck. It’s maddening!

  • barely skating by

    I’m so relieved that I’m not alone in my weekend dread! Thanks for sharing. Thank. You.

  • lwlamar

    On the one hand, I get it, but you’re still twisted, sister.

    I work “outside the home” during the week and my wife, bless her heart, carries out all the parenting duties M-F. I see my kids a little in the morning and a little after I get home and before they go to bed. It is my wife who bears the burden of attending to all their needs all day M-F.

    On the weekends, I feel obligated to try to relieve her pressure, and so weekends for me are like my second “job” except with fewer breaks and more backtalk and whining. I desperately want time to myself and time to relax but don’t usually get much of that, so weekends frustrate me. That is the sense in which I understand your problem, except I still look forward to the weekend, probably because at least we usually don’t have anything scheduled. I can sleep a little later (my kids sleep late, thank goodness), eat meals with my kids, occasionally (not often) lounge about with a magazine or reading articles on the internet, have an adult beverage every now and then, etc… So, even though I don’t get a break in the sense that the weekend is complete down time, it is still a break from the routine that is the work week.

    Enjoy that aspect of it and MAKE yourself relax, even if you have to steal little moments to do so. You know you are supposed to, but you can’t turn it off. You say you and your husband don’t “work” on the weekends, but I don’t care what anybody says, kids are work. And if you can’t stop thinking about the work that pays the bills, you are not getting the break your brain needs (or not giving your brain the break it needs).

    Dude, you must chill. If worse comes to worse, I bet they make a pill for that. If pharmaceuticals aren’t your thing, wine is fine and liquor is quicker. Let your kids visit the worldwide sales leader every now and then. Send one of them off with Jon and enjoy a little one on one action. Tell them you’re going to run an errand and get a massage or catch a movie instead. Good luck, weirdo.

  • lucesco

    It is not dumb, just different. Although from the other comments you have plenty of company. My question/suggestion would be why force yourselves to keep a traditional Mon-Fri workweek if that isn’t really you? If you have the freedom to create your own schedule, why not structure it more to suit your unique needs? From all of the evidence we can gather based on this site and your other work *especially* your children you are doing an awesome job. They seem so happy and engaged, which is a beautiful thing. Oh, and I am now jealous of your ‘problem’ because I have a severe case of the lazy. All the best to you!!

  • moodymamma

    God you have no idea how relieved I am to know that there are so many other spazzy moms like me out there, roaming around anxious for a to-do list and a stiff drink (at 7 am on a Saturday). I wait all week for the weekend, setting myself up for failure by creating elaborate fantasies of being able to reorganize all the closets, spend time doing enriching, life-affirming activities with the kids, cooking gourmet meals from organic ingredients purchased from the farmer’s market, injecting spice and excitement into my marriage (or maybe just some impromptu sex), relaxing on the couch with a great movie, oh and getting lots of extra sleep. Clearly, my weekends are doomed before they even begin, because in addition to my little two-day fantasy, I have two children and a husband who have been busy creating their own little two-day fantasies, and you know where this is going, right? NONE OF US ARE ON THE SAME PAGE. Usually what happens is that by Saturday morning none of us are speaking to each other and at least one of us has cried and dropped an F-bomb. (Ok, it’s me). Sometimes, by the grace of God, everything works beautifully and we have a great day. More often than not, it’s hit-or-miss. In the meantime, I cling to the belief that it’s a temporary situation, and I stock up on plenty of Cab Sav on my way home Friday.

  • shood

    I have the same problem. What do I do with all this time that I plan to only focus on home and family? How do I keep a toddler entertained and happy all weekend? And what extra thing can I accomplish since I’m “off work” two days? (Ha! as if you can accomplish anything with a toddler at your heels!)

    It’s not like the old days when we could spend our weekends at cocktail parties and then nursing the subsequent hangover with brunch and a pedicure, only to repeat the same sin Saturday night. These days the weekend is pressure with lack of structure. And then feeling that way brings on that good ol’ dependable guilt.

    I have anxiety now just thinking about it and it’s only Tuesday.

  • Angeerah

    This sounds like my husband. He cannot relax and do nothing. It drives me batty because he wants to find a damn project to do. I, on the other hand, after working all week and getting up at night with our son, I would like to sit on the couch and stare mindlessly at my child while he pushes his trucks around.

  • photogmomma

    Do you even read these bajillion comments? Hmmmm….

    This used to happen to me, but not just on the weekends. On the days the girls weren’t in school, on days when my hubby traveled and I knew I’d be dealing with them the whole night. OMG. This for me didn’t lead to cleaning (which was probably healthier), but to salivating over that glass of wine it was okay for me to ingest at 5pm. Don’t get me wrong, it used to occur to me much earlier, but I knew what the “rules” were and lived by them.

    This is where I get to sound like a whack job. About 18 months ago I started taking Reiki classes. (This is an energetic healing modality – think acupuncture without the needles to move energy around. Like I said, whacky.) With my classes, they talked about how to live life and basically face your fears and figure out what they meant and ultimately be happier. It took a while, but slowly I started to realize that my whole view of being with my kids changed. It went from dreading the 30 minute drive to get groceries and come back as quickly as possible to going to that town (we live in a small one) and not only making many stops, but also going to the park. That used to FREAK me to no end. But now I look forward to it.

    Anyway, I guess it’s all to say that not only is what you’re facing normal, it’s also fixable… 🙂

  • BlondeMomBlog

    I used to think my mother was a weirdo for not being able to just sit down and relax but I’m finding myself more often than not multi-tasking in my mind when I’m supposed to be relaxing and enjoying the weekend.

    I dread Saturdays my husband has to work. I find that on Sat/Sun that if I get up before everyone (I have also unfortunately lost the ability to sleep in ever again unless I’m 5 states away) and have a good hour to myself to do whatever…drink coffee, go through my e-mails, piddle and fart on the Internet, go for a walk…that my day is much better than wham bam thank you ma’am getting up when my girls get up and being jostled with requests the nanosecond I get up.

    Last Saturday my husband worked and I thought I’d do a fun craft project with my girls and within an hour it was as if we all had PMS. And my daughters are 5 and 7. We loaded up in the car and went to the local park and then met up with another mom and her daughter and the day ended up fine. So we apparently can’t do crafts. They make us psychotic.

    The key for us is to have some sort of fun, simple outing planned over the weekend and it can be simple. Thankfully with spring here we can do picnics, the park, etc. We also do popcorn and movie night every Friday.

    With you working from home (and I’ve done that in the past) it’s really tough to make a clean break from the to do lists running through your mind. Good luck!

  • tammyf1964

    I am curious who made the rules that said you have to do nothing in order to relax? Whats wrong with being busy and doing the projects you enjoy on the weekends even if others think you are “working hard” I dont get people who can sit around doing nothing but sit on couch all weekend. But whatever works for a person I say do it.

  • newmom888

    Yes, yes, yes! I know EXACTLY what you mean! Thank you for the honesty 🙂

  • kcbelles

    Wow – I live for the weekends. I enjoy my job, but I dislike having to be somewhere, every single day from this time to that time. Weekends are mine. They’re still uber busy, but we can take it at our pace; not one dictated by someone else. Perhaps it’s because we’re not self-employed? Or because we don’t have children? Dunno; I just know we love our weekends, and every day is one step closer to retirement.

  • PeeAnnie

    Sooo…I am not gonna say what you are feeling is wrong Heather, but I will say that I actually winced when I read this line on someone’s comments about going to work- “I envy the women who drop their kids off at day care and go to work. They get to talk to adults about things that matter.”
    Things that matter! Being a mother to your kids is the most important job on the whole freakin’ planet!! Nothing matters more!
    Could this be what’s wrong with our kids today… that their parents don’t take their parenting job seriously enough? I get that weekends are crazy, everyone is home and sometimes anxiety sets in because as a mom, you never get to truly relax. But if this is the majority mentality, that it is a relief to drop your kids off at the daycare on Monday morning, we have a serious problem.

  • Lizgizzy

    Heather, I feel the same way, though how I feel about the weekends has a lot to do with whatever phase my son is going through. The time that I have with my son before and after work is very short, and therefore cherished, most of the time. BUT…weekends, not so much…right now. Right now, he wants my attention constantly and is going through a very dramatic/demanding/rude phase that has me pulling my hair out. I don’t really look forward to that, and I find myself doing stuff around the house to distract myself from the frustration of dealing with a kid that is being snotty. But it is just a phase and will pass. Having a plan does seem to make the weekend better, not a lot, just a few things for us all to look forward too.

  • HeckYes

    Ok, seriously I’m thinking YOU’RE CRAZY SISTER! But I would never say that because then you’d be all TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE and how could I argue with that logic?

    But I really, really love Friday at 4:30 pm. It’s the best time of the week for me because it’s the longest time before I have to come back to work. Maybe I should consider getting a job where they don’t tie me up and whip me and threaten to make me watch conference (I’m kidding about everything except that last one).

    I do actually like my job, but because I’m a working mom I have limited time with my kids. So when I do get the opportunity to be with them I cherish every minute of it (as long as they don’t get in the way of my drinking on Friday and Saturday nights or wake me up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings).

    My kids are older though, and no longer scream for no reason. Unfortunately, sometimes the reason is that someone accidentally (???) poured his melted ice cream on someone else’s head. I’m not sure you are going to like that stage either, just a heads up.

    Anyway, if you learn to enjoy your weekends you’ll have it made. Good luck!

  • alexandrahlw

    I don’t think you’re crazy, but you have just blown. my goddamn. mind in half.

    I LIVE for the weekends. I’m sure because I hate my job. I do understand from parents that weekends can be a little bittersweet since you’re never *really* off the clock anymore.

    Considering weekends are what I live for now, this makes me think long and hard about how badly I want to add a needy little screamer to my life. But then I look at ANY number of Marlo/Leta pics and I think- but who could resist? 🙂

  • nicoleEC

    You aren’t the only that feels that way! I work in a place with people who are…normal. They speak at a reasonable rate, type less that a thousand characters a minute and even walk as if there isn’t a fire barreling down the hallway behind them. The nerve!

    They are constantly telling me to talk slower, slow down, take a lunch, take a break or, G!d forbid, drink decaf.

    They don’t get that I can’t slow down. If I do I get depressed. And if I get depressed then everything turns to pot.

    And I feel exactly the same way about weekend. You’re not alone.

  • William

    I read on another blog MissZoot to be exact a quote that says something like

    “”One of the characteristics of a person who does too much is procrastination. Often, our busyness is a subtle form of procrastination that keeps us away from what we really need to be doing.”

    That is exactly what my weekends feel like. I feel like I am keeping busy to avoid doing what I should be doing.

  • Ashley in OK


  • sczos

    You are not a freak. I think since you work from home – work is so easily accessible. AND having 2 kids is not a breeze. Especially when one is so self sufficient and the other one – eh – not so much. I have been there and done that. Although I work outside the home, but had this “feeling” when I was unemployed for a few months back in ’08. What I needed was something to do – be it a game, craft, just SOMETHING to look forward to. And yeah – those days of laying around on the couch doing nothing, leisurely reading or catching up on Project Runway with out SHHHHHHUSHHHHHHHH-ing the hell out of your children are gone – for now. They’ll return & you need to cope with the change.

    Also sounds like you need a date night or a mommy night out on the town or something.

  • Figtron


    I am a single mother, and the only time I can actually ACCOMPLISH things is on the weekend.

    The sad fact is this: if I actually do get child care during one of my ‘workends’ as I call them, rather than relax, I choose one of those really difficult, protracted jobs that I have been putting off for ages.

    Hey, let’s be pathetic together, eh?

  • TGI

    I can’t relax either.

    In the shower, while brusing my teeth, I find my self doing leg stretches. (I don’t get much time to exercise.) Often while i have a mask on my face and conditioner in my hair.

    I can’t sleep because I’m mapping out all the things that I need to get done.

    I love the weekends becasue I’m home: I work out of the house full time.

    But Sunday night I hate becasue I realize that I accomplished nothing.

    My brain is busted.

  • pearldoor

    Hylands Teething Tablets bought over the counter will save your sanity and possibly your family’s lives

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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