the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Featured community question with accompanying forty-five pounds

Today’s featured question comes from user Brookelyn Bridge:

I don’t know if every pregnant woman feels this way, but during the last month of my pregnancy with Marlo I was always thinking, what if I never lose these extra forty-five pounds? What if this pregnancy has changed my body forever? And then I’d follow up that thought with, I’m going to be pregnant for the rest of my life. And if by some miracle I do give birth, it’ll be a hermaphrodite alien who votes Republican.

Mind you, at that time I was more at peace then than I’ve ever been in my life. Can you imagine the thoughts I have now? Don’t answer that question, JON.

It took a little longer to lose the weight this time, but only because this time I didn’t wake up every day contemplating suicide. I cut way back on the donuts, kept an eye on bad carbohydrates, and breastfed the baby for seven months. And then one day I didn’t have to perform a series of gymnastic maneuvers to get my jeans over my thighs. Add to that a case of shingles, the stress of bullying a multi-billion dollar corporation into fixing my broken washing machine, the death of my Granny Boone, and a bevy of other catastrophes that our lawyers say I can’t talk about publicly, and there goes an extra five to ten pounds.

Stress is very effective when it comes to losing weight! However! It’s not fun! And can result in divorce!

A few months ago I committed myself to a vigorous workout routine wherein I hit the gym five days a week. Mainly to help cope with the stress. I had to take a bit of a respite when I broke my tailbone, but now that I’ve been back at it for a month I can honestly say that I’ve never been in better shape. The thing is, I know I’m lucky to have a naturally thin frame. I’m the five-foot-ten daughter of an incredibly thin-framed father whose father was naturally thin-framed. Our legs start at our shoulders, and scientists would have a hard time locating our butts.

I don’t take it for granted, though, and my diet consists mostly of veggies, lean meat, and whole grains. I snack on fruit and raw almonds. And at the gym, I really push myself to the limit. And I do it because it feels incredible. Which I guess is a really long and winding answer to the question. I love my body after Marlo. Because I’ve worked really, really hard to get here. And the work continues to fulfill me.

More accurately, I’ve really enjoyed and learned so much through this journey.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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