Me: I thought you understood going into this that we’re a glass half empty kind of family.

Jon. No, no, no, no, no.

Me: Why are you shaking your head like that?

Jon: Because I did think you guys were glass half empty people, when in reality all of you are THE GLASS IS TOTALLY EMPTY people.

Me: I see your point, but when the glass really is empty we aren’t disappointed. We’re like, see? We like to be right.

Jon: And then the longer I know all of you I realize that if you even talk about the glass, the glass will explode.

Me: Which is why I’m protectively covering my head while having this conversation with you.