Heater, Mother of Lance

Baby bird

Last night as I was changing Marlo into her pajamas I found a half-chewed piece of graham cracker, a swath of dried applesauce and two Cheerios tucked right inside the lip of her diaper. And no, I certainly did not experience an inexplicable urge to shove the crumbs into my mouth to avoid having to walk across the room to the trash can. Not one bit.

I’m glad no one else was in the room.

Marlo is a ravenous eater and has yet to refuse anything we’ve offered her. I’m not taking this as a sign of anything, though, because Leta was exactly the same way until she staged a hunger strike at eighteen months. She doesn’t like us to bring up the fact that she used to eat anything, what she probably remembers as The Dark Years, and now when we ask her to try new things she says sure. When she’s seven. But not until then. Have I mentioned that she writes our legal documents?

Anyway, Marlo crawls around with her mouth open. If she she sees you eating something from across the room she will motor over, up and around obstacles, and climb up your body to get at whatever it is. Once I was slicing a lemon to put in a glass of water, and she sat on the floor and tugged at my leg, her head slung backward, mouth wide open. And I was all, okay then. You asked for it, kid! And then I cackled wildly as I handed her a juicy rind.

And now she has a new favorite treat:

  • UtahMom

    2010/05/06 at 11:43 am

    Marlo is the cutest girl baby on the entire planet. Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful moments with us.

  • bobita

    2010/05/06 at 11:44 am

    At least you can cross scurvy off the list of things you need to worry about…

  • denice

    2010/05/06 at 11:45 am

    she’s taking turn lemons into lemonade very seriously, isn’t she?

  • d3 voiceworks

    2010/05/06 at 11:47 am

    isn’t it amazing how happy and smiley they are at the start … then it morphs into moods and crabaliciousness. i know–i have a 14 mo. old (boy) and a 6 y.o. (girl)
    i’m going to try to channel my own infant happiness right now!

  • blackpanther

    2010/05/06 at 11:47 am

    I love how she curls as if to hold herself in right before she laughs. That could never get old.

  • mrsdrmatlock

    2010/05/06 at 11:51 am

    Oh for crying out loud people, it’s her baby teeth! decay away, you’ll loose those suckers in a few years anyway!! 😉

  • shangyle

    2010/05/06 at 11:54 am

    Can we please have a Marlo calendar this year, either instead of a Chuck calendar or in addition to it?

  • KA

    2010/05/06 at 11:59 am

    It’s official: Heather and Jon have the cutest baby in the world. Now I’m really not having children.

    *sigh* Thanks a lot.


  • Pamela504

    2010/05/06 at 12:11 pm

    Criminally Cute!

  • mandi v

    2010/05/06 at 12:20 pm

    That is sooooo cute!

  • Passementerie

    2010/05/06 at 12:36 pm

    I saw a video on youtube where a baby was given a slice of lemon and curled up with the most hilariously horrified reaction. Naturally, my first instinct was to give a slice of lemon to my own, then 7mo, baby and see what happened, but naturally (like Marlo) she loved it and still happily sucks away on slices of lemon. Serves me right, really.


  • freckleface

    2010/05/06 at 12:47 pm

    Oh my gosh! That is the CUTEST thing ever, her little face and how she scrunches up her little body with laughter, omg. Omg!

  • stargirlmia89

    2010/05/06 at 12:57 pm

    That smile at the end was SO ADORABLE!!!

  • sweetpotatopie

    2010/05/06 at 1:04 pm

    I’m driving straight to your house and poking my fingers in those little dimples. Nevermind that I live several hundred miles away.

    She is seriously one of the most precious babies I have ever seen.

  • Em

    2010/05/06 at 1:21 pm

    What a precious smile. She’s such a happy baby!

  • runjew

    2010/05/06 at 1:33 pm

    Hi. Broken record here. Love this video. Marlo is so CUTE.
    How do you keep yourself from nibbling on her cheeks?!

  • Bratfink

    2010/05/06 at 1:43 pm

    Once Bratfink Jr. discovered pickles there was no holding that child back. Anything dilled was hers. To this day [she’s 31] she drinks the pickle juice. Must be her dad’s side of the family.

    I just want to eat Marlo up, she’s so delightful! At that age my grandson was taking apart the plasma tv. [True story.]

  • PunkinP

    2010/05/06 at 1:48 pm

    I have seriously watched this like 30 times now.

  • princessleena

    2010/05/06 at 1:51 pm

    I loved nomming on lemon wedges when I was little! May parents rarely let me do it though for fear of ruining my teeth.

  • kcbelles

    2010/05/06 at 2:29 pm

    Too damn cute. My younger brother was a sucker (pun intended) for lemons. He also ate dog kibble and sticks of butter, but then we always knew he was weird :o) And just so no-one worries; he’s a loving papa of 5 now, doin’ just fine.

  • solaana

    2010/05/06 at 3:18 pm

    Shenanigans, Armstrong. That child cannot be real. Knowing I share a universe with her makes up for the fact that I also share it with losers like George Bush and Scott Baio.

  • MelissaJ

    2010/05/06 at 3:19 pm

    oh my goodness…she is adorable!

    i want one just like her!

  • Krys72599

    2010/05/06 at 3:29 pm

    She is SO stinkin’ cute!!!
    Sorry, she deserves caps AND exclamation points!!

  • linuxchik

    2010/05/06 at 3:47 pm

    LOL, that’s effin awesome! pickle juice is great after a shot of tequila, too, as well.

  • RudeAwakening

    2010/05/06 at 3:49 pm

    That is SO cute! Love her smile!

  • Aunt_Lala

    2010/05/06 at 4:11 pm

    My 18-month old nephew, John Jr, LOVES LOVES LOVES lemons. He loves limes, too, but that kid eats lemons like it’s his job. I took my sis-in-law out to dinner one night, and Jr, too, and he actually reached over from his high-chair and took the lemon out of my tea so he could eat it.

  • Lucy mom

    2010/05/06 at 4:42 pm

    Marlo is adorable – I was watching this and thought I saw some similarities to Leta as well. Lemons are the food of the gods for kids. At a restaurant many years ago I handed the lemon slice from my water to Lucy and she promptly ate it – rind and all- with no change in expression. It kind of freaked me out but she wasn’t bothered by it.

  • wonderchris

    2010/05/06 at 4:53 pm

    The cuteness of Marlo hugging the lemon and her smile is just OVERLOAD.

    What a preciously sweet (& sour) video!

  • msmimi

    2010/05/06 at 4:53 pm

    OH MY GOD, I PROBABLY WON’T, but I could totally steal that baby!!! And related to your photo earlier this week—I would’ve sworn you tweaked her eyes a bit before you posted her pics. Seriously, how have you not just gobbled her up yet???

    Oh yeah, and my 6 yr old girl has been eating lemons since she was about 9 months old!

  • manda82panda

    2010/05/06 at 5:31 pm

    My son did that too. He loved lemons, rind and all. Now, at 18 mo, he likes chili peppers and ginger, which is fine with me =) She is so cute. Don’t you just love how you expect them to be shocked and disgusted, but they end up being happy and adorable?

  • ClaraBelle

    2010/05/06 at 5:36 pm

    Heather, I seriously had to take the time to register and say that Marlo has to be one of the cutest freaking kids I’ve ever seen.

    How do you not gobble her up constantly?

  • geekybookworm

    2010/05/06 at 6:01 pm

    Oh god, I’ve been killed by the cuteness. The dimples, the smile, seriously, how do you guys do anything at all with such amazing kids?

  • LaurieML

    2010/05/06 at 6:04 pm

    My sister used to suck on whole lemons constantly. And she turned out to be the difficult one…

  • MPyrzynski

    2010/05/06 at 6:25 pm

    I am now in a cuteness coma. You should post this world-wide. Everyone would be so entranced by her that we might achieve world peace.

    Marlo is absolutely adorable. When she scrunches up her shoulders to smile, I want to scrunch mine up too!

    She’s a beautiful child!

  • jennyfromtheshwa

    2010/05/06 at 6:32 pm

    She is all sorts of frickin cute.

  • Lily Hydrangea

    2010/05/06 at 7:18 pm

    This is so fun to watch! Such a happy girl. Thanks for sharing.

  • eventide82

    2010/05/06 at 7:50 pm

    Holy cats, she could not be more adorable!

  • amandajkr

    2010/05/06 at 7:58 pm

    Oh dear God, the smile on that kid!! She is darling.

  • Star

    2010/05/06 at 8:09 pm

    My son is a month younger, and I have to say that he and Marlo are soulmates! Motoring around way too soon, grabby hands, eating anything and everything. The food dash n’ climb is a nightly dance. He’s my first so I thought all babies were like this.

    If he ever starts talking about moving to Utah, well, let’s meet up at the bar after the ceremony.

    ETA: Oh and I forgot, I gave him a drop of lime juice to see if it worked for hiccups. He smiled!

  • Jen

    2010/05/06 at 8:17 pm

    Good Lord that’s cute.

  • FunMommyK

    2010/05/06 at 8:24 pm

    My son used to beg and plead for the lemons from my drinks. Then he would give them a good suck, make a horrified face and throw them back into my drink. That is SO not cool.

  • Dawn56

    2010/05/06 at 8:44 pm


    That scrunch-up with the grin at the end. Oy.

  • LaLaBoo

    2010/05/06 at 8:55 pm

    The shoulder shrug is killing me! Reminds me of the Lion in The Wizard of Oz- “Shucks folks- I’m speechless” TOO DANG CUTE!

  • mandypants

    2010/05/06 at 10:06 pm

    Hahahaha! My son loves lemons and never makes the cute sour face. My daughter on the other hand makes the gag face with all fruit and the half lidded gagging sour face with strawberries. Her face may implode if I give her a lemon. I think my baby is the cutest ever, but my word, if I ever happen to run into Marlo here in SLC, I may just eat her up!! I am not sure how you can stand having something that cute around! 🙂

  • SerenityNOW

    2010/05/06 at 10:09 pm

    I’m sorry, but this kid is so freakin’ adorable, I can’t stand it. My friend just said “What the hell are you smiling at like that?!”
    Heather, you are so blessed.

  • Coelecanth

    2010/05/07 at 1:21 am

    Why are you laughing woman? Scurvy is no joke, Marlo knows this.

  • stalkingsarah

    2010/05/07 at 5:26 am

    That is a crazy kid! I wonder if she’ll continue to do it when she’s older. My mom and I both love eating lemon rinds as adults.

    In other news, her laughing face is off the charts adorable.

  • Jeff_C

    2010/05/07 at 7:07 am

    Toddlers are so inquisitive! Great to see Marlo trying out new foods. More wonderful memories to cherish. 🙂

  • doobrah

    2010/05/07 at 7:27 am

    OMG- She has the cutest expressions! (That coming from someone who’s not really into kids — just dogs.)

  • SandraDee

    2010/05/07 at 7:54 am

    I don’t know what it is about toddlers and lemons, but my (now 8.5 year old) son used to do the same thing. (He’s still a voracious eater – his favorite foods are sushi and Indian, and our own ethnic heritage couldn’t be farther from both!!) He would grab the lemons out of our iced teas and suck them dry.

    We thought – hey – give him a salt shaker and a shot of tequila and NOW it’s a PARTY!!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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