An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Going Boom

The time has come at last, after several months of furious preparation and sleepless nights and waiting, waiting, waiting for the delivery truck to arrive, to show you the newest addition to our home. Sadly, it is not a coop full of chickens. WHICH REMINDS ME. You guys! Kate found out that Vivien? The lovely Vivien? IS ACTUALLY A VICTOR.


(Wah, wahhhh)

I do not know what she’s going to do with him, build him a separate coop to keep him from knocking up the hens? Because that doesn’t solve the problem of the cock-a-doodle-dooing at six in the morning. If my neighbor had that going on I might accidentally lift Coco over the fence and let nature happen.

(By the way, if anyone is looking for a very handsome rooster and promises to keep him safe and warm, shoot me an email. Victor needs a home.)

No, it’s not chickens. It’s not even an animal, although I have given much consideration to what kind of animal I’d like to adopt next: a pig. An indoor pig. He’d wear a bow tie and sleep in our bed.

(Shhh! Jon doesn’t know about my pig idea yet. Maybe I’ll get him one for Christmas!)

It’s our living room. Before you roll your eyes, you have to understand that we’ve been working on this project for months and months, trying to make it just right. Once we finally got everything into place I realized that this is the most incredible room I’ve ever lived in. It is my personality splashed all over a living space, especially the all-caps part.

I plan to follow up with a post that features pictures and a bit more detail. But for now just sit back and enjoy the BOOM:

(If you can’t see the video above, click here to watch it)

Many thanks to the lovely folks at DIGS who made this all possible. They were a dream to work with.

Also, standing ovation, ABChao. STANDING OVATION.

  • vent

    BRAVA Heather!

    I adore your taste in style.

    Clean, airy, fresh, and full of diverse and interesting imagery!

    Awesome job on the video, Jon. A+

  • rzeller

    where, oh where, are those pillows from????? i simply MUST know as my hunt for the perfect pillow just ended.

  • luv and kiwi

    I’m geeking out on how awesome the editing is. I WISH I could do all of the stuff you guys did! Great designs, great editing, great decorating, great eyeballs.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • MainelyMama

    Wowza! As we say up here in Maine, that looks WICKED nice! Well done guys! I have to ask, are the books in the bookshelf your actual books or are they oser decorative books?

  • Jessica Eiden Smedley

    Thanks for writing back to me, Heather.

    Smart idea to put the outlets on the floor.

  • erinnatani

    I love it! As I was reading it I was trying to figure out where I had heard of DIGS before. Then I realized their store is in my town, Bellingham, WA! I always go in there and gawk at their stuff and think about someday having a nice adult only living room. Nice job!!

  • dawdawsmom

    do you know what that room needs? a rooster! more precise…VICTOR!!! the room is beautiful but do you know what kept going through my head…”boy, i sure would hate to dust that” =o)

  • MarchelineB.

    No ass-kissing. Here’s my take on it.

    First, kudos to Jon for that music. It reminded me a little of the British Airways operatic theme. In a good way.

    Things I liked about your living room decor:

    1. That white, round table with the three huge feet. It looks like it might walk off with your drink when you’re not looking!

    2. The hanging lamp in the breakfast nook. It’s fascinating – can’t stop looking into it, like my future might be in there somewhere.

    3. The couch – there’s just enough retro in that modern to make me happy. Great color for someone with kids and dogs, too (won’t show stains).

    4. The piano. I play piano, but can only fit an electric keyboard into my tiny cottage, so I am envious. Also glad your kids are going to be able to learn to play!

    5. The “doodle” wallpaper. How retro-licious is that?!?! Love.

    6. Those two curvy lamps behind the couch. I appreciate it when there’s actually light where you need it. Reading, crocheting, whatever… good light behind and above the seating area is key. It also draws the eye to the center of the room. Awesome.

    7. The “crazy chairs” from DIGS. You chose a fabric that perfectly accents the room, and the shape of the chairs makes them so interesting to look at!

    Things I’m not crazy about:

    1. The chrome-armed chairs. OUCH! You’d better sit straight up with your elbows at your sides and your feet on the floor. Try to curl up with a book, and you’re going to puncture your knee/elbow/thigh or cut off your blood supply for a week.

    2. The faux deer head over the fireplace. That’s such a lovely, large space wasted on something that doesn’t have much “pop”. I’d have gone for a nice large piece of artwork, or maybe framed an old map, or even hung a collage of framed photos of you and Jon and the kids.

    3. The fact that it looks “staged” – like an HGTV design space. I don’t see any personal items like photos, things that show someone actually lives there.

    4. Too many stacked books. Every empty space was filled with a few stacked books (even the breakfast nook). If you have to move knick-knacks off books to look at them, nobody will bother looking at them. The stacked book theme works on book shelves and side tables, but I think you could have gotten more pizzazz out of a great floral piece in the nook (maybe something with moss, in a bell jar?).

    5. The top of the piano area makes me sad. Stacked books (again) and pink candles? Ugh. Looks like you ran out of ideas up there and just stuck in whatever you hadn’t used yet. I’m also “old school” when it comes to piano. A piano bench rather than a backed kitchen chair, please. Part of learning to play piano properly is posture and arm/hand positioning. Piano benches come in all sizes and styles (I see an antique one with curly legs, cushion covered with one of your crazy fabrics), and they promote good posture. It’s the difference between chopsticks and Mozart.

    Thanks for the video, it was fun!


  • Amanda Brumfield

    Gorgeous room, bravo to everyone involved. And Jon- what the hell. You are a composer? That song was amazing as was the camera work. I’m standing here beside myself.

  • jon

    @Amanda Brumfield, yes I am a composer. Not a great one, but I compose. Getting back into it has been really enjoyable. I was so sure the music wouldn’t fit the mood of the video, but Heather insisted. She can be persuasive.

  • Canuck64

    A lovely room – and if it’s meant to be lived in, what’s your secret to keeping it showroom-worthy with two young kids?

  • PositivelyAnna

    The room looks fabulous! And the video does it justice. Awesome!

  • Totah Sam

    That is FUCKING awesome. 😀

    Thank you for sharing such a lovely room.

  • kirbaliscious

    so you got DIGS to pay for most of it and your friend to design it.

    how special.

  • GratuitousGeek

    I love it, all of it!

    But I have to ask… How in the Hell to you keep Marlo out of that room?

  • Caro

    I love the room you guys.

    GREAT,GREAT camera and editing work Jon. Great music.
    Fantastic. It was an absolute pleasure to watch. Bravo. Talent coming out of your ears, the both of you.

  • Essembee

    I’m sorry- I didn’t see much of the video because halfway through it, an image popped into my head of Heather singing the operatic vocal on the track. I may have laughed a little bit.

    Also, that is a beautiful room and I can tell that lots of thought went into it. Is Coco allowed in it?!

  • kate007

    I covet your living room! Kudos to you both and your design team! There are many goodies that I love in there, especially those cool brown leather chrome chairs….where are they from? Don’t see them on digs site. Am looking for these for our business space. Shweet!

  • Dirse

    I’ll take your willingness to enable commenting as an invitation for my opinion. =) Everyone else has given theirs.

    My feeling is mostly “meh.” I think I don’t understand the essence of the design, if that makes sense. But that’s okay because I don’t live there. I imagine many people wouldn’t like the decor in my house.

    Your living room comes across as chaotic and too eclectic. I can see how maybe there’s a common thread running through the space(s), but I can’t follow it. I love many of the pieces by themselves, but all of them together is like trying to stuff all of one’s design dreams into one pot and the resulting meal has too many flavors.

  • BuenoBabyGirl

    HA! Now I understand your sometimes unwillingness to open comments!

  • Dirse

    Yes, because receiving dozens and dozens of positive, encouraging comments is just terrible.

    Really, are a couple of civil, dissenting opinions – in which there are no character judgments – about what is essentially a form of art, created by and then presented by the artist on her own website, which is her livelihood, so bad?

    I am also an artist. I receive criticism too and never solicit it, but when you make a living from your art, you are inherently opening yourself up to that. As one should – it’s a valid part of your career and development as an artist. Writers know this all too well. Oh hey, Heather’s a writer too! Man, double-whammy.

    Perhaps the fact that she’s now in her mid-thirties, doing well for herself, & appears to be kicking butt in multiple arenas means she’s a big girl and can handle my puny critique like a professional. Because that’s who she is.


    That was decorator porn. Jealous!

  • MarchelineB.

    I don’t see any comments regarding the “DIGS” website, which I just visited. The only furniture I can find on their site is chair made of rolled up and tied sticks of wood with some ugly tubular metal legs. Not a funky upholstered armchair in sight.

    They’re selling glued together felt circles as napkin rings for OVER A HUNDRED DOLLARS A SET. Glued together felt circles, people.

    A godawful, ugly grey rubber handbag is almost two hundred dollars.

    Throw pillows? $120 – $220… EACH.

    Guess the economy is kicking some people’s arses harder than others, huh?

  • dykewife

    i like the mix of straight lines and the curves in the furniture, but i’m not so into the stuff that was all over the place. sure, i know they lend an aesthetic function of breaking up strong lines and giving interest to the eye, but i prefer fewer things on tables. it comes from a childhood of being the one tasked to do the saturday dusting of the house that was littered (literally) with gewgaws, knickknacks and frippery and each piece had to be replaced where it came from. what a pain the butt that was!

    the books didn’t have their spines toward the room. that’s biblio-blasphemy. all books should be easily accessible to readers, that’s the whole point of books. but hey, that’s just me.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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