the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts

How to Charm Me

Let me hit the snooze button seven times in the same hour.

October 10, 2001

How to Annoy Me

Call my purse a “David Spade” bag.

Beveled Distress

Notably foolish comments directed at a graphic designer every day of her life: “Can you make it, um… sparkle?” “Purple. Let’s go with purple.” “When I click the buttons on the menu, nothing happens. What’s wrong with this jpeg mock-up?” “Make room for 15 animated…

October 9, 2001

Thinking

Why can’t I just do as I’m told?

Listening

The Zincs: Moth and Marriage

Enjoying

2Advanced Studios

How to Annoy Me

Ask me to answer your phone. I’d much rather toss it at the back of your head.

Honda of Hollywood

Two years ago today I purchased a 2000 Honda Civic EX and financed it on a two-year payment plan, a stunningly idiotic impulse on par with base jumping from the top of my two-story apartment building. My thinking at the time went something along these…

October 8, 2001

Thinking

It is not possible to spend less than $200 at Costco per visit.

Enjoying

Lindkvist

How to Charm Me

Unscrew the lid to the pickle jar with your big, bear-like hands.

How to Annoy Me

Misplace your keys one more time.