Heater, Mother of Lance

Recent Posts

Listening

Grant Lee Phillips: Mobilize

September 10, 2001

How to Charm Me

Point at your 3 year old cousin’s penis and say, “Daddy has a little one just like that.”

How to Annoy Me

Get together with your band of birds and poop all over the hood of my car.

Hungry Like The Wolf

Yesterday I had a half a package of Oreos with chocolate creme filling. Something snapped at around 2 o’clock, and every ounce of self control I’d developed since I started running stairs eight months ago evaporated with one crispy, creamy nibble. What the diet and…

August 31, 2001

Thinking

Happiness is clean sheets.

Listening

Bauer: Can’t Stop Singing

Enjoying

Shisso

How to Charm Me

Immitate a dog eating Crunchy Corn Bran.

How to Annoy Me

Make me pack in an orderly fashion. I just don’t have it in me.

Pack the Flask

Things to remember before I embark on a weekend jaunt to Utah to mingle with Mormons and relatives with missing teeth: Steer clear of Aunt Lola. Granny will fall sleep on the toilet. Use the one in the basement. The three year old nephew will…

August 30, 2001

Thinking

Life is too short. Drink Jack Daniels.

Listening

Spain: I Believe