Heater, Mother of Lance

Recent Posts

Memoirs of a Recovering Mormon

I have wasted the last several hours of my life reading my journals from my freshman and sophomore years at BYU. I don’t think any other activity could be quite as depressing, except perhaps actually attending BYU. The following are selected excerpts from the sophomore…

August 10, 2001

Listening

Missy Elliot: So Addictive

How to Charm Me

Talk to yourself when you think no one is listening. I heard everything.

How to Annoy Me

Accuse me of drugging you with my depression medication. I will tell you when I do that.

Thinking

I really can’t get enough of this super Golden Crisp. It’s got this… this… crunch with punch.

August 9, 2001

Thinking

I really can’t get enough of this super Golden Crisp. It’s got this… this… crunch with punch.

Listening

Gorillaz: Gorillaz

Enjoying

The First Ever Sweetened Cereal

How to Charm Me

Bring your dumb dog to work and let me watch him run head first into the clear glass wall of the conference room.

How to Annoy Me

Floss your teeth during a meeting about content integration.

Thinking

Maybe I do need bigger boobs.

August 8, 2001

Listening

Mason Jennings: Birds Flying Away