the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts

How to Annoy Me

Describe my driving as “unnecessarily aggressive and I will never get into a car with you again.” You’re a pussy.

August 29, 2001

Laguna Beach

Launch Laguna Beach

August 26, 2001

August in LA

Launch August in LA

August 19, 2001

Nap Time For Adults

Key to a good nap in the middle of the day at work: Make sure the car is parked in the shade, preferrably in a parking garage so that you don’t have people walking by the car and gawking at your mangled form on the…

August 17, 2001


I shouldn’t have eaten that entire pan of Rice Krispie Treats.


Ride: Going Blank Again


Forecasting The End Of LA


Mark Ryden

How to Charm Me

Don’t freak out when I do that brake-at-the-last-second maneuver in the Doocemobile Town Car.

How to Annoy Me

Drink the last Diet 7-Up in the community refrigerator. I bet you’re the same person who sends out those crappy company emails that say “Good Work Team!” and “Our Numbers Look Great!”


Vanilla ice cream is good for you. It has beans in it. And we all know about beans.

August 14, 2001


The Saints: I’m Stranded