the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts

How to Annoy Me

Drink the last Diet 7-Up in the community refrigerator. I bet you’re the same person who sends out those crappy company emails that say “Good Work Team!” and “Our Numbers Look Great!”

August 17, 2001


Vanilla ice cream is good for you. It has beans in it. And we all know about beans.

August 14, 2001


The Saints: I’m Stranded


Cell Phone Radiation Charts



How to Charm Me

Force me to eat “Euro-Style” or “slowly” instead of my usual snort-through-the-nose approach.

How to Annoy Me

Forget your wallet, again, when it’s your turn to pay. It’s not sneaky. It’s stupid.

Pismo Beach

Launch Pismo Beach

August 12, 2001


Amazing what a little sleep can do for your mood. Well, sleep and a few prescription meds, if you really want to know..

August 10, 2001

Memoirs of a Recovering Mormon

I have wasted the last several hours of my life reading my journals from my freshman and sophomore years at BYU. I don’t think any other activity could be quite as depressing, except perhaps actually attending BYU. The following are selected excerpts from the sophomore…


Missy Elliot: So Addictive

How to Charm Me

Talk to yourself when you think no one is listening. I heard everything.