An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


It’s about time I took a Happy Hour disguised as a lunch hour.

November 20, 2001


Dismemberment Plan: Change


The Bird Machine

How to Charm Me

When describing your esophagus, refer to it as your “sarcophagus” because you don’t know any better.

How to Annoy Me

Try to tell me what a girl wants. Not only are you not a girl, but you’re not even Christina Aguilera.