Our Lady of Perpetual Depression

A custom portrait for a cowboy

Some of you may have seen this photo that I posted on Instagram a few weeks ago. Oh, wait. That was a few weeks ago. A few weeks? HELLO. HI. BONJOUR. The last six weeks of my life have consisted of nothing more than making…

February 19, 2019

It’s the crap, crappiest time! To breathe air!

Whenever I fill out medical paperwork that asks about my immediate family’s history with disease I have to mark an X in the box next to HEART DISEASE and TYPE 2 DIABETES and HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE and HIGH CHOLESTEROL and DENIES CLIMATE CHANGE. I’ve never…

December 20, 2018

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

 

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