An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Life, a magnificently glorious fiasco

Last night my mother and stepfather brought Leta home from her dance lesson—wait. TANGENT ALREADY MOTHERFUCKERS. I just remembered an email I got years and years ago after I’d written a post wherein I referred to my stepfather as my “step-father” more that two times,…

February 14, 2018

Books People Send Me, Installment Eight

Oh my god, I have fallen behind on book installments and now I cannot see the floor of my office, wherever will I have illicit sex with the coworker who didn’t seem interesting at first until he told me he had seen Radiohead at a…

February 5, 2018

The End of The Rolling Groceries

A few years ago I had just driven out of the parking lot at the grocery store when I pulled to the side of the road to tweet something like: “The sound of all of the food rolling around in the back of my car…

February 2, 2018

// Featured Reads

Eyeglasses
wave icon

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

martini glass icon
Join the Dooce community
arrows
Slack channel link
martini glass icon
Join the Dooce community
arrows
Slack channel link