Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

Life is good because she isn’t yet blogging about my parenting

Judging from the picture above you may suspect that I have been lying this whole time and that the move across town I’ve been talking about was really a move to Seattle. You think I would do that to you? Lie about where we have…

April 26, 2017

You can never have enough imagery of the wackos you live with

I have to apologize for not remembering exactly when Jennifer Maher sent me this portrait of Coco  along with one she painted of Marlo buried underneath a mountain of stuffed animals, only that it happened right as the Downward Brain Spiral of Marathon Training and…

April 25, 2017

Returning a favor and a tiny peek behind the scenes

Back in 2010 I signed a year-long contract with HGTV to write and curate content for their website. They had floated the idea of filming a pilot for a television series, but I happened to sign at a time when the network was enduring the…

April 21, 2017

// Featured Reads

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

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Join the Dooce community
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Slack channel link