An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Excuse the dust, my inability to be polite showed up

Last week the girls an I visited Disneyland to celebrate Marlo’s ninth birthday (this whole thing happened NINE YEARS AGO) and yes, while I was very busy standing in hour-long lines with swaths of Disney-frenzied humanity, I was also processing what the fuck is going…

June 18, 2018

Yo Daddy 2018

Dear lord god, the run up to the end of the school year was like getting on one of those rides at an amusement park that turns in circles really fast after you’ve just chugged a whole jug of queso made out of toe cheese….

June 7, 2018

Books People Send Me, Installment Nine

A couple of weeks ago I loaded up all the books that people have sent me since about March and handed them off once again to the lovely Karen Bowling who runs a small library in Cache County, Utah. I’d been either tripping over the…

May 29, 2018

// Featured Reads

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

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