the smell of my desperation has become a stench

INTRODUCING: Bergdorf Good Dog a Ling a Ding Dong

I did not ask Kelly for permission to write this publicly, and, here we go already: I don’t give a fuck. She can deal with it. This ain’t nothin’ to Kelly. I mean, she’s watched me eat fried crickets. And they were delicious! It was…

March 30, 2020

My COVID-19 Experience (with video)

The first thing I’m going to say is that what I am going to describe to you today has nothing to do with any of the news I talked about or teased yesterday while talking to those of you who joined me for Quarantine Book…

March 19, 2020
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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

 

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