Heater, Mother of Lance

I never thought I would try to crowdsource a gratitude journal, but here we are

Bonjour, kind people! That means you, and you, and you, and YOU! I am not Oprah and do not have cars to give away, but if you were here I’d pour you some dry white wine (my drink of choice now that bourbon gives me…

December 9, 2019

You need ideas for gifts? I might have a few hundred.

I have not attempted a gift guide since Marlo pronounced “breakfast” as “bref-disk” and ever since someone corrected her my heart has been trying to reassemble itself. Maybe that’s contributing to my gut issues, although I think my gut issues have a lot more to…

November 29, 2019

Family portraits 2019

A couple of weekends ago we all got dressed up, relatively speaking, to have Cat Palmer take our family portraits. First, I say “relatively” speaking because Marlo refuses to wear dresses anymore unless it’s for a sacred occasion. Like Halloween: View this post on Instagram…

November 4, 2019

// Featured Reads

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

 

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