An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Adventures in pond water

Right. So. Where to begin, where to begin. Let’s just jump in (pun intended as you will soon discover) with my leaving Paris on Monday morning. Leaving France this year proved a tiny bit less dramatic than when I left last year since I knew…

July 27, 2018

France won the World Cup and all I got was a lesson in how to chill out

On Sunday I befriended a 20-year-old French kid named Etienne while sitting on the concrete railing of a walkway leading down to the Seine. We were gathered with hundreds of others in front of a relatively small television to watch the final match of the…

July 17, 2018

“To see the world with lights on for a change”

Greetings once again from a second story apartment in Le Marais, an historic district in Paris where last year I witnessed Parisian people behaving distinctly un-Parisian when Anderson Cooper climbed out of a black Mercedes with his luggage and headed toward the entrance of a…

July 9, 2018

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

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