the smell of my desperation has become a stench

“I just want four walls and adobe slats for my girls”

“If a black hole can absorb light then it is stronger than light and I thought nothing traveled faster than light so please tell me how this makes any sense because I have been thinking about it all morning.” This is just one of the…

May 19, 2020

The cunning, insidious and constantly hungry Kierkecoyote

Beaver anal glands. That’s where this starts. You’re welcome. I have not figured out how to work and salvage what is left of my children — they were half-eaten by wolves, all related to the wolf who resides now in our home, we’ll get to…

May 5, 2020

“I guarantee you, you will never see nothing like this again”

I wonder when he rested his head on that pillow if he’d ever thought to himself, “What will they say about me when I die?” Even if he didn’t, I know that more than anything he’d want to be remembered for his essence, for what…

April 23, 2020
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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

 

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