An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

A jump start on the language I do not speak very well

The girls are spending this holiday with their father in NY and I decided to stay home and hang with my family because my favorite pastime is arguing about basic human decency over a giant piece of sweet potato pie. Which reminds me: When I…

November 24, 2017

Books People Send Me, Installment Seven

Yesterday morning the kids took mercy on me and didn’t stomp around this tiny house before 7AM, and when it was all said and done I slept for 14 straight hours. I have my theories as to why my body needed that kind of break…

November 20, 2017

Come for the baby Chuck photos, stay for the vulgarities

In the spring of 2002 just a few weeks after bringing Chuck home from the Pasadena branch of the ASPCA, I was trying to make a cup of coffee while he darted around my feet trying to bite my ankles. That dog was a motherfucker…

November 16, 2017

// Featured Reads

Eyeglasses
wave icon

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.

martini glass icon
Join the Dooce community
arrows
Slack channel link
martini glass icon
Join the Dooce community
arrows
Slack channel link