An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


Misprinted Type

July 7, 2003


In homage to the passing of Buddy Ebsen, I’m going to come clean and finally reveal that the real name of the dog in this post was indeed Buddy Ebsen. It’s important to note that we can’t refer to him as just Buddy, because the…

How to Charm Me

Assure me that I’m not yet showing even though I CAN’T ZIP UP MY FAVORITE JEANS. OH MY GOD.


Mogwai: Happy Songs for Happy People

Feeling Guilty

For verbally abusing the Nacho Cheeze Doritos, when secretly and passionately I love the Nacho Cheese Doritos.

How to Annoy Me

Eat a fudge brownie with your bare hands and then grab my white shirt and scream. I know you’re only two years old, but it’s time you at least started acting like an adult.

Highlights of the Holiday Weekend

1. I have eaten more hot dogs in the past five days than I have eaten in the collective whole of the rest of my life. I’m not talking about three or four hot dogs; I’m talking multitudes of hot dogs, legions, mobs, swarms of…