Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.


I thank God EVERY DAY that I didn’t marry Jessica Simpson.

September 23, 2003

How to Annoy Me

Continue to point out my obsessive habit of deleting shows off the TiVo. DON’T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN WE RUN OUT OF SPACE AND THE WHOLE WORLD COMES CRASHING IN.

How to Charm Me

Agree to go to my 10-yr high school reunion with me, even though everyone there is going to be Southern, inarticulate, and eerily well-versed on the intricacies of NASCAR.

Feeling Guilty

For responding, “What baby?” when that woman looked at my tummy and asked when the baby was due, and secretly relishing her mortified stupor as she apologized and tried to disappear.


Robert & Shana Parkeharrison


The Problem With Music, by Steve Albini


It’s been nearly a week since we discovered that we’re having a baby girl, and the enduring image from the thirty minutes spent with that cold piece of machinery on my belly is the tiny footprint she kept shoving toward the screen. My baby has…


My Morning Jacket: It Still Moves