This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Feeling Guilty

For thinking impure thoughts when I first saw the packaging for these portable puddings.

October 22, 2003

Thinking

I can safely blame iTunes for Windows when my child asks why I can’t help her pay for her college education.

How to Annoy Me

Try to convince me that the reason I’m so constipated is because I just need to relax. MAY YOU NEVER POOP AGAIN.

How to Charm Me

Try not to laugh when in a fit of rage (and obviously suffering from a severe case of placenta brain) I refer to someone as a “tight-ass core hunt.”

Listening

The Wrens: The Meadowlands