This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Enjoying

My Karate Kid Shower

May 5, 2004

How to Charm Me

Make a baby monitor that is so good that I can hear the sound of my baby’s hair growing in the other room.

Thinking

Empirical evidence shows that babies don’t particularly like to have their toes pulled. This doesn’t mean that I won’t keep trying.

How to Annoy Me

Say that you and your fiancé are going to get a “prenumptial” agreement.

Feeling Guilty

For blaming my farts on the baby. You knew this was bound to happen.