An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

They still hang people in Utah

  • AAHHHHH! I have the cutest hair cut for you! But since you already did the deed, maybe you can just keep it on file. I posted it on my site for you. If you don’t check it out, maybe I’ll e-mail it to you later. At first I couldn’t tell if it’s just the girl that makes her hair look so cute. But it’s not. It’s definitely the hair on it’s own!!!!!!

  • ella’s ma

    My daughter says Da ALL DAY when I’m the only one here dealing with the whinging, and poop, etc. But my husband tells me, when he takes her anywhere, she sits in the car saying Ma the whole time.

  • ella’s ma

    And oh yeah, can everyone just chill out and be nice to each other for ONE day?!?! GEEEEEEZ……

  • Sven

    Domino, it sure is difficult to get the wording right at times. And there´s nothing wrong in liking an average everyday photo.

    But I see something wrong in adoring every tiny little meaningless thing a person does and says and starting raving about it on the spot.

    That´s where I´d draw the line.

  • re: “Jon immediately ducked as I threw her stuffed purple rhinoceros at his head.”

    Why does the man always get punished for his irresistable lovable-ness?

    Jon, I feel your pain.

  • Rabooka

    Sven & Domino- now we know your opinions on the daily photo, which you are both entitled to. Neither is right or wrong so, lets move on.

  • Alert US magazine! Mary-Kate Olsen has finally resurfaced!

  • Happy days are here again!

  • eileen dover

    Dooce – I just gotta tell you this! It’s unrelated to the picture or your recent posts. You and your blog were mentioned in the Jargon Watch in this month’s issue of Wired Magazine ! They listed the definition for “dooced.” (The Nov issue isn’t online yet unfortunately.) Congratulations on your mention in the quintessential geek magazine! Woo-hoo! I’m so proud…

  • Shauna

    Dada-and now Dadeeee! are my one year old’s official first words. I feel your pain…

  • misdirected

    has anyone ever mentioned to you that jon kinda looks like john travolta a little? hot hot hot, i say!

  • Amanda B.

    Gosh. Who knew Ashlee Simpson would take being busted so hard…

  • Molly

    Great shot, I love how the background blurs.. I’m still getting “used” to my camera.. I tried to take a picture from a distance of my daughter yesterday.. well I focused on a leaf, and she is blurred.. it actually turned out to be a cool picture.. but not what I ment to do .. 🙂

  • comment fight!

  • *gasp* it almost look that surreal way. the strings give it away though. And what is with the face? Doesn’t it look a little mashed? Looks like our friend must have gotten into a drunken fight..(Oh so that is why he is being hanged!)

  • Susan

    some whiplash.

  • cindi

    “Why do some people tend to congratulate the camera? No matter how fancy you think a camera is, it’s only as good as the person standing behind it.”

    AMEN – thanks for sharing your daily photos with us – you have a great eye for photography!

  • zebob

    “Yikes! I love your camera!”

    Rather insulting to the photographer, don’t you think?


  • Now we know where the Cryptkeeper hides during the off-season.

  • Zane

    I thought they buried Joseph Smith?

  • Hee, hee. I would love to hang that right next to the traditional 13-loop noose that (per family tradition) hangs somewhere around my house.

  • strange fruit.

  • by george eileen is right! Nice. Really nice. Dooce IS in Wired.

  • Susan

    and also.
    i was just commenting to my boyfriend this morning how much I WISH IT WOULD SNOW. I am so jealous of your four-day storm, dooce.

  • I happen to be wearing a Hot Topic leather mini right now and I support your decision to stay away from them. My butt is sweating and I smell like a damn saddle.

  • Technically, if you went shopping in them, they are no longer pajamas, but now are a shopping outfit.

    On a personal note – Brian would have been 27 today. Drugs suck.

  • Denise


    Please post a picture of the snow tomorrow.

    I live in New Orleans where it is still 80-degrees and humid.

  • I wanted to remind everybody (or tell, if you didn’t know what I am about to say in the first place) to be sure to click on the ads running on dooce or blurbomat as often as you can stand, and even consider buying some of the products advertised. The more of us that click on the ads and/or buy products, the more likely advertisers/Google will re-book more ads on the sites. Meaning more $$ for the Armstrongs (both of which are too ethical to point any of this out to us, their readers). People: even clicking on the ads makes a difference, since advertisers totally look at the number of “click-throughs,” and make re-booking decisions based on those numbers.


    an ex-traffic coordinator

  • It snowed? Aww jeez, I wish it would snow around here. I’d give Leta all of the baby toys I received from my baby shower if you could send me some snow. I am sure they’d keep her busy for at least a few more minutes. 😉

    And you changed the ‘everyday’ to ‘every day’. How odd how that stupid ONE SINGLE SPACE makes all the difference. STUPID. COMPUTERS. UGH.

    Love in Christ,
    Amber <>< P.S. Does anyone know why Mormons don't believe in drinking caffiene? I've been so curious.

  • How ARE the good people of Salem these days? Coming back to life with the ferocity of an unchecked plotline I trust.

    Love in Darwin,
    <>< ^^

  • Sorry, I just had to see if that would work – the little Darwin fish had feet when I posted him.

  • JC

    Dem bones dem bones dem….dry bones dem bones dem bones dem….dry bones

    Fosamax * Actonel * Miacalcin * Evista * Forteo

  • Poobah

    Uh oh. Comments creeping up again. The last time that happened, my Mac CHOKED.

    Heather, you should sell those Mormon votive candles from your web site. They would make great party gifts and a mockery of the church. What other fun collectables do Mormons make?

  • Scary! I mean, people are already decorating for Halloween?

  • Sam

    nice to see i got up some people’s noses yesterday.
    and apparently the sentiment has been carried over today!

    yay for reality!

  • Damn you and your snow! It’s 85 freakin’ degrees here in Houston! My kid isn’t going trick-or-treating this year, because her costume is so warm and wooly, I fear she may die of heatstroke before she makes it around the block.

    Luckily, she only has 4 teeth, so I’m thinking she won’t miss the candy.

  • Snow? Holy crap. I live in Toronto, Canada and it hasn’t snowed here yet. Sucks to be in Utah I guess.

  • LadyBug

    Well, Dooce, if you want my advice…..just kidding.
    So glad you have an ‘entertain the baby’ plan for Wednesday. I’ve lived in Texas all my life, and can’t imagine snow in October! My girls went to school in shorts today!

    Oh, and KATE….thanks for the heads up on the Google ads. I’ll totally start clicking now, even though I’m quite sure I have NO need for a Flowbee OR a blonde wig……and if I DID, Why Oh Why would I buy one on EBay? Can you say, “Head Lice?”
    But I digress….

    God bless,

  • Sue

    Looks like my Mother-In-Law went to Utah….BAHAHAHAA

    ANYHOO, I’ve never heard of ‘Hot Topic’ because of the simple town in Ohio I live in…I did a Google and will DEIFNITELY be doing some online Christmas shopping there, WOOHOO!!!!!

  • robin

    So, are you a fan of the old salem or the new salem? And do you think Mimi should just deck Jan Spears, or admit to rex that she did a bad thing? And what about everyone using those fake, lame vines to repel down cliffsides in the jungle?

    (Oooops, did I just say all of that out loud?)



    i mean…

    no, i really do. lol Why can’t Mimi just tell Rex the truth, and why can’t she tell Belle that Jan is blackmailing her – surely Belle would understand! And those vines in NuSalem are getting the best of me!! and why can’t they find a real baby for Jenn to carry around instead of a way-too-small doll??

    I’ll stop.


  • All of a sudden the temperature has dropped here in Oregon where I live. No snow but lots of coldness. As I get older and older I like winters less and less. Mainly because my body aches this time of year. I shouldn’t complain though. It could be worse. I could be dead and looking like your friend hanging there in that tree.

  • “Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my closeup.”

  • Dude, that’s so unfair. It’s still 85 hot nasty drippy degrees here. And you got snow. (i shall pout for the duration of my entry) It’s so humid here that it’s hard to breath. I’ve got freakin’ Gilda Radner hair here people. (God rest her soul)

    In the immortal words of Florida Evans…”Damn, Damn, Damn!”

  • Regarding Saturdays’s pic: REFRESHING. Thank you Heather.

  • Amanda

    But think about what the nose on the Joseph Smith soaps could do down there… And tell me where I can get some of those..

  • The snow won’t amuse Leta? How about Chuck romping in the snow? (Does he romp in snow? My dog, being part some-kind-of-husky, loves the snow and does a very good doggy romping.) I bet a flashlight, a blanket and a power-outage could lead to a whole five minutes of “peek-a-boo” with a new, ghostly mommie in a blanket twist! And you have reminded me that I need to pick up more post-shave healer.

  • How to Amuse Leta: when Jacob saw his first snow at five months we would throw him in it trying to get perfect angel shapes from the siloheutte he left there. We didn’t throw too hard of course, in case we spoilt the siloheute, and he LOVED it!

  • midwifegoddessannie

    Is that a Joseph Smith Soap-On-a-Rope?

  • m

    mormon’s don’t drink coffee, or tea because of the tannins. or so a mormon told me.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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