An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • JoJo

    Does the bush, umm, match the, umm… boughs on the trees?

  • fred

    Love your site, the writing and photography. I’m addicted.

  • George (not GEORGE)

    A turd left behind is better than two in the bush.

  • Melanie S- you can have ALL our damn snow! (Maine)

  • Girl.A–Yowza!

  • Laura

    Hee hee, Jojo.

    Another Texan here, jealous of the temperatures back home…because I’m currently in London (but I missed the aforementioned snow).

  • tickled


    The word’s asinine, not assinine.

    And you’re most certainly NOT.

  • Sheryl

    please, *please*, P L E A S E let me spell asinine with a full round ass in it?

    I like to say I put the ‘s’ in assinine.

  • RazDreams

    I’m just excited that Dooce put “Christmas-y” stuff in her new masthead, because we all know what that means: a NEW masthead after the holidays pass in a few weeks!!! Wooohooo! Methinks she should consider something with the other two favorite subjects in her life: Jon and Leta. She’s already had Chuck, a poop-related masthead, cowbells, etc. Time for Leta, or maybe GEORGE!, or perhaps even a tribute to the Avon World Sales Leader. Maybe a snub to the “No Parking Neighbors” or the “Really Creepy Cool Realtor.” Who knows where this could go next!!! 😉

  • Dooce–
    I love your bush.

  • Lisa

    I’d love to see a pic of the Avon World Sales leader on a masthead, she reminds me of my own dear mother who used to sell Mary Kay cosmetics faster than a drug dealer could sell crack.

  • looks like someone needs to trim her bush.

  • and the bush comments start!

    Whoo hooo!!

  • Sarcastic Journalist-

    How did you get that shot of you from your old blog? and HOW in the hell could you look so good in a hospital gown?
    I looked like I was about to hurl the whole time. My sister nicely put it when she saw me with the mask on my face trying to get more air, “GOOSE! GOOSE! I’m going down!!”
    (my only Top Gun reference…ever.)

    Thank God no one had digital cameras in the room when I was giving birth. My sister was a good wing man that day.

  • I guess it’s just me, but I thought the thumbnail looked like a close-up black and white shot of a hand holding some sticks or herbs. Now, go scan up *real* quick and look at it. Do you see it, or am I fucking crazy? (Not that the two are mutually exclusive [hee! I love that term].)
    I think it’s a purty picture. And I am desperately fighting the urge to make any bad “bush” jokes. Two different subjects of jokes… and I have a real bad one just aching to come out.
    Okay, you twisted my arm. Maybe just one.
    Too bad we can’t really burn Bush, eh? HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA. Sorry. That was lame. And not funny. Je regrette.

  • hi kristine– my hubby is 6’4 and was perched on a chair over my bed. as for looking good? glad you thought so but i definately didn’t look too good about 1 hour later. 🙂

  • Sarcastic Journalist-

    That’s an awesome picture. I was digging through my old pictures the other day and found one of me pregnant with my last child and thought, “Oh thank you lord for hooking me up with a guy who’s fixed!”
    I swear I looked like I had been stung by some seriously pissed off bees.

  • Carol

    What’s the link to the pic? I couldn’t find it.

  • heidi

    the thumbnail looks like the top of a molar after someone ate an oreo.

  • Pretty. 🙂 I wish MO would get more snow as well!

  • Wondered when the Bush comments would start. It was of course my first thought…you said…bush. Heh.

  • I thought it lookes like a tooth, too, only a tooth that was desperate for some dental action.

  • it took nearly 100 comments to get to the bush jokes? geez. you people are slipping.

  • What an amazing 10 month letter to Leta. You are both kick ass!

  • So, when Leta was screaming just for screaming’s sake, and you finally had enough, and yelled, “SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!” …

    …did she get very very quiet, and look at you like YOU were the crazy one??

    Mine did.

  • I’m so envious of your snow =\ In Tennesse we barely get any nowadays.

    Those monthly news letters always make me cry.


  • Mom2Jami

    Your letters to Leta make my heart ache, they are so beautiful!

  • Sheryl

    These are my favorite pictures of Leta yet! The first one – and the one of her in the dark jersey smiling to someone off camera. The unbridled charm.

    Charm enough to make my knees wobble. And I am not a commenter on pictures of Leta. So this comment is category A all the way.

    A. I love your _baby_girl_.

  • it’s hard to believe she screams like a banshee when you show us such beautiful happy pictures of her wonderful face. surely you exagerrate. just kidding.

  • Your honest stories about motherhood with Leta make me want a baby – and I’ve NEVER WANTED BABIES. Yes, despite the screaming and grocery store horror, it sounds like the good parts make it so incredibly wonderful.

  • When Leta is thirteen, and even worse than she is now, just remind her that you once published close-ups of her (baby!) thighs on the internet and that you can do it again. Of course, maybe she’ll just scream.

  • ksea

    The picture with the navy and yellow shirt, I really hope you’re getting that one printed at 11″ x 14″. SO adorable.

  • Jen C

    Leta is such a cutie pie!!!!

  • Happy, happy 10th month Leta. Scream, scream, scream!

  • Jen

    Please—a picture of a screaming Leta!!!!

  • gilliebean

    It’s wet and dreary in Malaysia now. The only snow we have are those made from cotton balls on fake plastic christmas trees in shopping malls.

  • Nell

    I love the picture of Leta as a kewpie doll (the one where you are washing her hair).

    Her eyebrows are red! Do you think she’ll be a redhead?

    By the way, I love today’s picture. I have never seen real snow.

  • MrsDoF

    When I worked as a daycare teacher, a Sub in the room with me did a write-up for my Personnel file.
    The reason being that as I was struggling to put a recalcitrant 10 month old into the swing, I told him “Your co-operation is anticipated and appreciated”
    This was perceived as Verbal Abuse.
    Be glad you are a stay-at-home mom, grocery store scenes not-withstanding.

  • Mrs. DoF, if THAT’s verbal abuse, Social Services would live at my house. You should see the looks I get when people hear me tell my kids, “I don’t really care what you want” or (to my daughter, who hates to go to watch her brother’s karate lesson)”Well, nobody WANTS to go to karate, but we have to, and that’s that.”

  • Happy 10th Month Leta!!!!! You sure know how to have fun. Wallets, keys, YUM.

    I wish I was in Utah–I’d love to eat the snow off that bush.

  • k

    Ok I’m sorry if this posts again, but something weird happened when I tried last time.

    dooce- I know I am repeating what you have heard many times, but you take beautiful pictures. Especially of your daughter (and of bushes). I think your camera knows how much you love Leta and it comes out in those pictures.

  • I just want to say that I had a T-Bone for dinner and it didn’t have nearly as much meat on it as Leta’s thighs do. I want a bite.

  • Janie

    Your monthly newsletters are always my favorite updates. I love watching Leta grow into a (beautiful, opinionated) little person.

  • Oh I live for the Newsletters! I thought the first pic was the cutest, but I don’t know, that funky mohawk makes me feel all warm and cozy inside too. And those thighs! *sigh*

  • I once yelled “Shuuuuuut Uuuuuuup” into the large food court at the mall, much like you did in the car. It was almost soul cleansing.
    That second photo of Leta in the sink had me in tears.

  • Those pics of Leta are just too damn cute. Mormons and former mormons must have some scary “good looks” gene.

  • dustbunny

    i think she looks like a cupie doll! she’s sooo cute! her eyes are so deep and dark in the tub pics. Too cute for words..:)

  • Heather

    Month ten newsletter, beautiful. There are no other words other than beautiful.

  • al

    Heather will you be my mom and update everyone on my life, ok ok so I am 40 something but I don’t scream that often. Dr.

  • Melanie S

    150! Yippee!

    Pretty baby Leta…

    GO! Leta! GO!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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