An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Sunset over The Great Salt Lake

  • For whatever reason, everything is coming up Violent Femmes:

    “Every time I look at that ugly lake, it reminds me of me.”

  • I’m really glad you found Chuck. That had to be freakin scary. I love the fact that he was at the neighbors gettin his groove on. “Hey…how YOU doin’?”

  • Zach

    Tiffany, do you want to have sex, seriously. I’ve been trying to get that effect out of two of my flyfishing pictures for a while now. Now they look perdy.

    Utah is beautiful, Great Salt Lake is not. I’ve lived here for 7/10th of my natural life and only been to the shores of the Salty once. Now, the Wasatch Mtns., Arches, Lake Powell, Zions, Green River, etc. is a different story.

  • yep, that’s gorgeous. lovely. catching a sunset like that is either Perfect Timing or Photoshop Enhanced. it ain’t easy taking a good sunset picture and this one is simple divine.

  • Cristin

    Hiya Heather! I have been a *blush* lurker for quite a while on your wonderful site. Thanks so much for your great writing and pictures!

    So glad you found Chuck without having to kill Jon. My adorable pain in the butt basset hound/terrier/ llhasa mix has pulled that one a few times. EEEK

    btw, Amelia, you are not alone. Jazz the wonder dog has chewed quite a few pair of undies in his day. What the heck is that, anyway?

  • Cristin

    hey, I just found out how to make words in bold type by accident!

    the word blush is not meant to be in bold in my post above, duh lol

  • good for chuck–at least someone is getting some.

  • Absolutely breathtaking!!

  • generic ‘beautiful picture heather’ comment here. seriously, you have an eye for some great shots (i’m not sure what people mean when they say that, but it sounds clever enough).

  • Mo

    very nice…
    *smacks jon’s gate-open-leavin hand*


  • ya know, of all the times i’ve stared out the window over seat 14 b, the prettiest landing i’ve ever seen was at sunset over salt lake. i have still naver seen those colors in water anywhere else.

  • What the Hell am I doing in Ohio anyway? Beautiful picture.

  • nique

    i’m from Ohio and i’ll never know what i’m doing here!

  • amelia

    Cristin- I don’t know why my dog chews our underwear but it is an expensive habit that we need to help her break. We have ten different chew toys that she loves and plays with/chews on when we are around. However when we leave she goes right for the dirty clothes…

  • In our old apartment, we had a bit of a mouse problem. We also had a bit of a dirty-laundry problem.

    This is how I know that mice, too, enjoy a good panty-chew.

    I’m still a little freaked out.

  • Beautiful… It’s been cloudy in my place in the world for days on end… I miss the sun and the sunsets 🙂

  • Elizabeth

    It must just be a Utah thing because sunsets are like that here all the time (not everyday, but generally when the weather is nice out). I don’t see it as being photoshopped or enhanced in anyway. Nor would I think it’s a specific camera thing either as I have taken similar photos with both an old point and shoot nameless camera and a digital Canon G3. I can remember lots of times that I’ve been here, looked up and thought it was beautiful out. Not something random in the least. ^_^ We just have very pretty skies.

    Here’s a description of the skies from a Utah tourist site.

  • I was on my tippy toes about the missing Chuck and so glad he came back!

    Beautiful pic and P.S. I have been ‘dooce glow-effecting’ the shit out of all my photos. Thank you for sharing that fun bit if photoshop technique!

  • All this talk of panty chewing is making me excited and hungry at the same time. I think I need to go get an erotic lunch. I mean… exotic lunch. Thai food anyone?

  • Stacy

    Elizabeth, the sunsets and sunrises in Texas are absolutely amamzing, too. People here just don’t seem to pay attention. I hate it when people that live here oh and ah about a sunset in a picture, I’m like “Do you ever look out the window, like in the real world?” I was asking the photoshop question in general, seeing as how I recently acquired a digital camera and photoshop and still suck ass. I’ll learn, though. Tiffany did have some really good tips for spicing up sky pics. It never hurts to enhance. 🙂

  • Dried smegma is very nutritious, or so I hear. Especially compared to plain clean dry cotton.

    Now that’s fiber, but not many nutrients.

  • Scott- Mice are pretty sexy, the way they bat their eyelashes and gnaw at the undergarments.

  • Love that Chuck is okay- if you haven’t found it, PLEASE check out “The Dog WHisperer” on uh… the Nat’l Geographic channel. It’s AMAZING!!! I’ve NEVER seen anything like it- I now have a perfect dog… now that I’VE changed how I behave!! It’s just the coolest thing. Cesar Millan is my new hero, and his personality is just adorable!

  • beautiful. thanks for that reminder of the west …

  • Carol

    GirlA – thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking. Yes, there is a reason. Ew.


  • Dogs and mice luvvv the smell of “girl stuff.” I used to work with a creepy guy who went to a strip club wearing a baseball hat. While he was up in Sniffer’s Row, one of the “dancers” took his hat and wiped her crotch with it. (how charming!) When he woke up the next morning, he found that his dog had eaten a giant hole in the hat.

  • Is mouse-panty-chewing anything like squirrelling?

  • Ack! I will thank all dogs, mice, etc. to stand clear! I love the critters but not like *that*.

    Howdy Girl A and Carol!

  • This from the woman who brought us pooka.

  • Carol, Happy to oblige. I’m headed backto civilization and was praying for my first opportunity to discuss gratuitously and facetiously the bodily excretions of non-geriatric humans and the non-bovine / non-equine mammals.

    Amanda B, bon apres midi beeeyotch.

  • Carol

    oh my good god almighty…sniffer’s row!!

    what can you NOT learn at dooce?

  • Hola Fish! Yes, but I do not endorse beastial pooka.

    “Don’t let em squirrel ya, oh no.”-B. Marley

  • Carol: refined conversation.

  • re: “beastial pooka.” Oh great, I can only imagine the search terms that Girl.A is googling right now.

  • That’s our special girl.

  • beachgal

    jeez, what to respond to first:

    1. awesome picture as usual.

    2. Poor almost missing Chuck. so glad you found him. One of my dogs will run off if out off leash, hence the reason she’s NEVER off leash.

    3. My OTHER dog is the one that eats my undies. Lordie, I thought I was the only one with that problem. Always mine, never hubby’s. She’ll dig for them too, the twit.

    4. umm…i think that’s it.

  • Amanda B – Undergarment gnawing is a highly underrated skill.

    I have seen dogs give females the “nose ride”, but never heard of the actual devouring of panties. I thought only frat guys and truckers did that.

  • victoria

    Girl, get yourself an agent and start making some money off your talent. I just read Laurie Notaro over Xmas; you’re more talented than she, and she’s written a best seller. Why are you giving this away for free? (Of course, I would be heartbroken without my daily dose of dooce, but I’d get over it when I could buy you in print form.)

  • beachgal: Yeah. Beastial Pookah left me a little speechless too. Concerning dogs’ preference for women’s undergarments over men’s, I’m not sure why its a mystery. I mean, well, I’ll stop right there …

    Scott: re “nose ride.” You are funny.

  • wow! beautiful shot!

  • I’m with Victoria – I’d buy the book.

  • Can’t google… Eating sushi and driving wrx on Rt 90. Yes, sushi. No, not stinky.

  • Fish – Bestial Pookah in my house would leave you fingerless, not speechless.

  • So let’s get this straight. Girl.A is driving her Subaru, eating sushi and posting on dooce? Some may call that wreckless, but I call it multi-tasking!

  • Girl.A’s not wreckless, she knows her limits. (No Googling.)

    And I am so jealous about the wrx.

  • Zach:

    Salty can actually be stunning:

    Great hike:

    and Zion National Park is quite nice as well.

    The perdy factor is the only reason we stay here. Cause Honey, it ain’t the beer…. we’d go back to Wisconsin for that!

    Hi EVERYBODY how are you today?

  • Welcome back Chuck! Keep your ass nearby from now on.

  • Dr. Johnny Fever said at 08:10AM, 12.29.2004:
    Let’s all go skinny dipping!

    Do we have to be skinny?

    just asking…

  • Thx Fishy – I may be good at multi-tasking but I do have a sushi asst for the piling of the ginger and wasabi and I am not using chopsticks. For Christmas I got a mount for my notebook for the car. But it is kinda dangerous.

  • cb

    Another blog I read, one by a veterinarian who is, in her home life, now pregnant after years of infertility, wrote this in a recent post:

    “And I have never pulled tinsel from a cat’s butt, but there was one memorable occasion involving women’s panties and a labrador puppy butt…”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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