Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Is that a remote control or are you just happy to see me?

Because we like to spend our mornings with Leta in our bed watching Matt Lauer’s hair recede ever so slowly, a large assortment of toys always collects underneath our pillows: books, rattles, sealed cough drop bags, a wide variety of Avon bottles promising to cure…

January 7, 2005

How to Annoy The Holy Living Shit out of Me

Pronounce furniture like “furt-ture” and treasure like “tray-zur” and Brighton like “Breye-un.” I know your ancestors trekked across the plains and settled this land, but last I checked “Mormon General Authority” was not a sub-set of the English language.