We just finished watching “60 Minutes” where we learned that the inventor of the .50-caliber assault rifle is from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, not far from where I grew up, and of course, when they let him speak he sounded as if his two front teeth were missing and had just been released from the state penitentiary.

In my best Tennessee accent I mocked, “This here rifle I done used to shoot ma cousin.”

And Jon without skipping a beat concluded, “Cuz he wuz screwin’ ma cousin that I wuz already screwin’.”