An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • plk

    This Matt dude deserves exactly what he got. He sent a complete stranger unsolicited hate mail. Dooce certainly didn’t ask for his input and she is under no obligation to keep the secret of his misogyny or his misuse of his company’s time and resources.

  • lauren

    If he’s willing to fire off such an email to a complete stranger (and let’s face it, why on earth is he so passionate about Heather and this site? I mean we are, but I’m guessing most of us read it regularly) his offline behavior may be a close mirror. If I were working for him, I would very much like to know that the owner of the firm I work for feels that way. I wonder if he actually does discriminate against female employees in “real life?” I just can’t shake the feeling that anyone so quick to attack a harmless stranger like that can’t be much nicer to his minions in his 10 countries.

  • Who DOES that? Steals someone’s belly pix? Eeeeuw.

  • ” Jesus, you are a corporate-ladder climbing, asshole-sucking, closet homo”

    I’m not sure that the answer to misogyny is homophobia.

    Other than that, it sounds like this guy has his head so far up his ass that he could stick his tongue out of his belly-button. Matty, Matty, Matty, you should have thought twice before you did a couple of extra shots during lunch and decided you had something clever to say. Ever try being nice to your fellow human-beings? It works surprisingly well.

  • Merdog

    Just had another thought. There is the possibility that “Mr. Jackson” is really someone else spoofing another person’s email address. If that turns out to be the case, then I’ll feel sorry for the person who owns that email address.

  • hehe


  • In other news, Mount St Helens is erupting as we speak.

  • Merdog

    Re: ‘just making a point’

    1. Heather makes her policy on abusive email quite clear on her ‘contact me’ page. I have no problem with what she did.

    2. Conventional wisdom these days is, when sending email, “never put in an email anything you do not wish to see on the front page of a newspaper.” I quote from one of the evening news programs that discussed the guy at Boeing who had to step down due to his affair with a co-worker (apparently he sent some pretty embarrasing emails to her via the internal system).

    Mr. Jackson emailed Heather at his own peril. I think he’s fair game.

  • h e n r y

    strizz – who the fuck knows? 😉

    not my style, but it was probably done with a reasonable intention.

    or maybe not. in which case: cool 😉

  • Ern, read her journal entries! It’s the best part.

  • RazDreams

    typical me here: some of her pictures are heather’s belly…some aren’t. heather doesn’t have a belly ring, for instance.

  • Stacey, I can’t get in there. Did you have to join?


    oh and its the plesure principal wooah woooah

  • Yeah, you have to register to view it.

  • Andrea in Canada

    I agree with Ginger…I haven’t yet read what this heated discussion is about but I know that we are all here for one main reason…we like Heather Armstrong as a person and we love her writings and photographs. If Heather made an oops somewhere along the lines, than to me…oops it is..she’s HUMAN. Ok, better go find out what this is all about!

  • Raz, yeah, some of the belly shots aren’t Heathers.

    All of her pictures are fake. The woman she uses as “herself” is really named Sierra, and she was outed on or something.

    I stumbled upon her, and noticed that her face shots weren’t the only pictures she was stealing.

  • Dear Heather,

    I too am the principal of a company. No, really. I am. Seriously. Okay. I’m not now but I was (does that count?) and it was my own company and I was the only employee (probably much like our little Matty boy) and as such I’m sincerely and importantly most prestigiously sorry to inform you that being the principal of said company, okay, as a previous principal of said company, I am going to have to take your Dork award away. There is no greater dork than Matt. He is the biggest dork of all dorkdom. He is the king of dorks. Oh, and, he’s an asshole.

    I humbly remain your devoted, previously a principal of a real company, fan.

  • Marti

    Free tampon samples???? Hey, I want free tampon samples! Really? Are they available? If we don’t like Matt, why would we send him free tampons?

  • Ern

    Thanks Stacey.

    Now, I am going to go look at the photo stealer.

    Then, I must go to my happy place.

    Or to a studying place.


  • Ern

    Let’s have it!

  • I am not a hateful emailer, ok well I sent Matt *one* that said suck it. Does that make me a bad person?

  • Stacey

    Ern, Strizz…

    I present to you and all doocelings:


    Who says she is pregnant with a boy, “Jacob”

    and who is using Heather’s photos.

    Don’t ask me how I recognized Heathers belly. I just did. haha.

  • Henry,
    Nope, we do not have to be happy about Heather’s reaction to the email. Nor do we need to pounce on her for it. None of us need contact the troll, or set about hurting him.
    I do pity him. Something horrible must have happened in his life which caused him to really hate women that much.
    I cannot judge Heather for her reaction, nor can anyone else who has never experienced such a vicious attack. I only hope I never do.I love all of the regular commenters here. Sure, we all get mouthy, nasty sometimes, but it really all has to be taken very lightly. And whether or not this Matt Jackson is for real or is someone who is trying to set someone else up is really not my concern. I am sure that everyone who read that post had a strong reaction to it, either way, and has every right to their feelings, as does ‘matt Jackson’.
    I hated that email. I hate being treated like dirt because I have children and decide to put them first. But I cannot stop people from thinking that I am hiding, or weak. I know the truth, so for me it does not matter. But such attacks do cause pain.

  • ginger

    (I’m not your regular ginger, I’m the other one.)

    Delurking to say: Whoa!

    Doocelings, pax! You all play so nicely (albeit obscenely) together under ordinary circumstances, what’s happening here?

    Just because there’s some disagreement about whether Dooce made the Right Decision or not? C’mon, now. This is practically a forum, the dooceling comments page, and you guys are such pals, it sucks to see people getting hot under the collar over this. All of you love Dooce, no reason to get so heated.



  • Stacey

    Ok, I will.

    But you have to register. AND, if you send her nasty emails (like I did) she’ll block you from viewing her albums and her journal.

    I think I made like 4 different aliases to send her hate mail.

  • I’m with Amanda B and others, please no more implied or explicit hate against homosexuals.

    Especially not saying/joking? mysogyny is a result of gay sex.

    This is the kind of thing that makes my lesbian sister (who is a school teacher and mother of 3 kids and 2 foster kids) feel uncomfortable on a daily basis. When people define bad behavior by labeling it gay in some way.

    Please no.

  • OMG no she sin’t! I totally wanna see that, just for fun. That shit fan line was comical.
    send ME hate mail. Please.

  • Stacey

    I should post the addy of the woman that’s using your pregnancy photos and saying their her own.

    More shit, meet fan!

  • Ern

    Stacey–is it on a website? At least post the url for us!

  • RazDreams

    #545: if you’d posted under your real post name, perhaps i’d give it to you. instead, e-mail dooce and i hereby give her permission to give it to YOU (whoever YOU are), but only you, not everyone, unless of course she reserves the right to publish my email address on this site.

    i would very much be interested in how *i* imply shame (no other regulars on here ever imply shame, that’s for sure!). i’d also love to know how i was ever anything less than fair. ever. posting under a different post name on here is not classy, particular if you’re regular enough to know my posts.

  • I just want to say that judging should not be done. Asshat wrote what he wrote, Dooce did what she did. SO WHAT? Those of you who are ‘disturbed’ by Dooce’s post with the email address…Do you live her life, deal with what she has to deal with, received the hatemail she has?
    Sometimes its so easy to say what you would or would not do, BUT YOU DONT REALLY KNOW until it happens to you.
    That is all.

  • Liv

    Apart from Matt’s charming brand of misogyny and the like – isn’t anyone else disturbed by the fact that Matt is apparently a “principal” of a company despite his apparent inability to string a coherent (much less grammatical) sentence together???

  • mmm fresh eggs

  • Dr. JF, Word. See #508.

  • Matt..Matt..Matt…The fact that you had the need to…

    1. use the line “I AM THE PRINCIPLE OF A MAJOR COMPANY…” in the opening of your e-mail to internet’s dear Heather..

    2. include your full e-mail address with your asinine comments..

    3. made a statement in the 21st century to someone who has a high traffic website saying that you “FIND THAT YOUR BEING A WOMAN MAKES YOU A LIABILITY IN THE WORK FORCE AT AN EMPLOYER, TYPICALLY”…

    …is a GLARINGLY OBVIOUS indication of your own insecurities, poor grammar and that you find some kind of comfort in overcompensating for the ‘shortcomings’ of your own appendage.

  • RazDreams

    um, strizz, don’t get yourself in a tizz. if you’d read my posts, you’d see that the “innocent men” being harmed are those “matt jackson’s” that are being targeted via websites (sites posted on THIS PAGE) that are NOT the same man that e-mailed heather. THOSE men will be targeted too, because overzealous people will think they have the right man.

    *i’m not defending the guy who wrote to heather.* find my post on here that defends him, and i’ll buy you your very own hen, which will cluck incessantly to your heart’s content.

  • koof

    i went to high school with a matt jackson (not this one cause he’s only 20 and lives in ohio), and we always sang “i’m sorry matt jackson, i am FO REALLLL i never meant to make yo momma cry i apologize a thousand times” (you know, cause we’re clever and change ONE word of an outkast song. oh highschool.

    so, you know. um. it needs to be changed for this occasion. and i am not the one to do it.
    go everyone more clever than me!

  • Stacey

    Amanda B., I have to agree with you there.

  • Oh, dear. The person who wrote that email, whether his name is Matt or whatever, is not innocent. I didn’t mean to imply that. All other folks from the same area with the same name would be the innocent ones. I can’t imagine that anyone disagrees with that.

    And I second Amanda B #538

    Monkey seance, anyone?

  • Raz Please Chill, Girl

    I haven’t posted, and please nobody use what I am going to say to gang up on Raz.

    As a reader of comments, I know feelings are running high. ANd I admire your spirit of justice.

    But you can’t control Dooce, or others. Some of your posts (not necessarily tonight) go beyond fairness at times.

    There comes a point when you can say what you feel and what you believe, but can’t expect to change others.

    Many of your comments imply shame – and as we know, as others have said here about both sides, shame never works.

    It sounds like you are going beyond disagreeing and starting to take the feelings and actions of others personally. You can’t be responsible for others.

    I would send you an email, if I knew your address.

  • vi

    that idiot is not a principle anywhere as if he had half the ‘credentials’ he states he would not have time to muck around with such drivel.
    that my friends is a troll.
    with way too much time on it’s hands and NO JOB

  • GOD

    Those commenters with the holier-than-thou attitude; climb down from the cross, we need the wood.

  • Does anyone else find it peculiar that our buddy Matt is “the principal of a major company in Southern California with offices in 10 countries,” yet he still has time to sit around writing epic e-mails about “hens” and “discretion” and “marbles?”

    Speaking of marbles, Matt, here are mine. Suck ’em.

  • I’m pretty sure Heather didn’t want any innocent people harrassed. There’s an expectation that “regulars” here have brains and can be trusted to behave responsibly. Like in society as a whole, some will and some won’t.

    Cheez Whiz, I almost miss the monkey. Almost.

  • a

    G-D girl scouts. I hate them! Or do I just hate my lack of willpower?

  • I can post under whatever the hell I want. You wanted me outed so I outed. Whats the problem?

    Her giving out an assholes email address is *NOT* the end of the world. So he egts a bunch of emails full of dickwad this and suck that. It may bother you and some others but I could care less if she does it. What irks me about it is that *I FEEL* you will defend the poor wittle person regardless of the situation.

    Who is the innocent being harmed? The jerk who wrote that?

    Violent retaliation? Are people pulling him from his car on the way to work and beating him shouting “Dooce This”??

    Gimme a big fat fucking break.

  • Susan. Perhaps you didn’t intend it to sound the way it did,although I can’t see how it could be interpreted otherwise, but the comment “I find that such misogyny typically comes from gay men who get their best oral from their daddies.” is horrifying.

    Really really horrifying.

  • h e n r y

    (goddamn safari)

    Cristin – that’s actually a very subtle point. Sure, Heather has no responsibility ultimately to anyone here, but does that mean that we should be happy with what happened? Not that, again, Heather has any reason at all to care what people think. none of us, ultimately none of us really have any other levers with which to move other people, but perhaps the hope is that, maybe, if Heather looks down these comments and sees a bunch of people hatemailing a random guy, and a bunch more saying ‘shit, we like most everything else you do, but this seemed way out of line’ she might at the least explain why she thinks this is cool to do. she may not! and people have to decide whether that’s cool as well.

    at the end of the day, we’re always judging. and we’re always trying to regulate our social environ.

  • RazDreams

    then say your clucks under your own post name. and those who agree with heather *also* say the same thing every time this goes down, so how am i any different (so i stick to my convictions…what a novel idea!). and hate perpetuating hate is always the same thing, and such violent retailiation that could be accomplished much easier without harming innocent people sounds like a slight analogy to me!

  • Ern

    I haven’t read many of the comments, and whatever Heather did is her choice. She is a real person, and when someone sends her hurtful email that attacks her just for being a woman, she has a right to react.

    I hate when people say women are a liability to companies.

    I don’t know any women who take a day off every month for PMS. And if they do, it is because they are experiencing pain that most men would not understand.

    And if a couple decides they want to have children, the mother has no choice but to be the one to carry the child (with all that entails–maternity leave, do I breast feed? do I stay home with the child? Men don’t have to take all of this into consideration. I am in medical school. Before I started, I had to think realistic thoughts about when my husband and I would have children, because we do want to start a family. It isn’t just a matter of popping out a puppy. With my choices, I won’t realistically be able to stay home with my children, and that will mean that at some point, I too will be “taking advantage” of maternity leave. Is that my fault? I hope most employers will look at a potential employee as an asset for that company with a life outside of work, and make the needed accomodations. It would be to their benefit in the end.

    Sorry about the rant.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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