“The biopsy my doctor did on my arm came back. It’s cancer.”

“Oh God. Are you okay.”

“Yeah, she said it was the type that shouldn’t kill me, but that I should be wary of ever leaving the house without first letting Jon know where the dog food is. In case she was wrong.”

“What is your mother saying about all of this?”

“Well, my mother is somewhat preoccupied with everything else that’s going wrong in her family right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“My aunt has had two mastectomies in the last few months, and her youngest sister is about to lose her son to a brain tumor.”

“Shut up.”

“Add to that the fact that my step-father is about to lose a toe.”

“WHAT?”

“Yeah, his big toe. He only has nine fingers, so maybe he’s trying to go for a matching set of hands and feet. Isn’t that why we have so many in the first place? So that if we lose a few it doesn’t matter?”

“What is it with your people?”

“We’re Southern. We like to live hard and then go out in a giant, blaring flame.”

“I think that has nothing to do with how hard your people live and everything to do with the fact that they love to play with explosives.”