“I’m so happy that your moles came back malignant.”
“Do what?”
“I’m happy! This is a good thing!”
“I think you meant to use the other word.”
“That wasn’t the right word?”
“No.”
“Remind me what the other word is.”
“Benign.”
“That one! Your moles are benign!”
“The good thing? That you are not in charge of diagnosing anything.”