Dark Crystal

My Life in Movies

While I am out of the country for the next few days my very good friend Sarah Brown will be your guest host. Sarah blogged at Que Sera Sera for over ten years but currently writes at her Tumblr, Damn Gina.

……

Movie my mother fell asleep to in the theater while 8 months pregnant with me:
Star Wars

First non-animated movie I saw in a theater:
Raiders of the Lost Ark

First non-animated movie I saw in a theater without having to be removed from the theater for screaming because my parents somehow thought Raiders of the Lost Ark was about Noah:
E.T.

Inappropriate movies my grandmother took me to see in the theater as a small child:
Song of the South
Ice Pirates

Movies I can quote every single line of dialogue/sound effects to because we owned them on Betamax when I was a kid:
Ghostbusters
The Empire Strikes Back
Airplane!

Movies that were always on HBO when we first got it in the mid-80s:
Midnight Madness
Lady in Red
Cat’s Eye
Johnny Dangerously

Movies I would totally do Michael Keaton in:
Mr. Mom
Johnny Dangerously
Batman
Beetlejuice

Movies I could not stop watching every day at my friend Stephanie’s house the summer before fifth grade even though they scared me so badly I couldn’t sleep at night for weeks:
Poltergeist
Poltergeist II
Rosemary’s Baby
Sleepaway Camp
Twilight Zone: The Movie

Movie I pretended to see when I was 15 so my dad would drive me to the movie theater even though he refused to buy me a ticket for Bram Stoker’s Dracula because it was rated R and then afterwards he asked me how I liked the movie and I said “It was so boring I fell asleep” so he couldn’t bust me for not knowing the plot because I’d snuck into Bram Stoker’s Dracula instead:
Of Mice and Men

Movie I saw on my first date because we were both too awkward to suggest anything we actually wanted to see:
Home Alone 2

How long that relationship lasted, in the same vein:
One and a half years

How long one and a half years is at age sixteen:
An eternity

Movies I didn’t see until later in life and now regret all those years not knowing:
Point Break
Highlander
Purple Rain

Movie I didn’t see until later in life and honestly did not see what the big deal was:
Dirty Dancing

Movies I pretended to have seen in 1994 so I could make my “Best Of” list in my high school newspaper column sound more cultured and my friend Mike called me out on this and I swore up and down I’d actually seen them but I’m sorry Mike, I was a terrible seventeen year old fake:
The Three Colors Trilogy: Blue
The Three Colors Trilogy: White
The Three Colors Trilogy: Red

Movies I actually saw that year:
With Honors
Threesome
8 Seconds
Blue Chips
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
D2: The Mighty Ducks
Stargate
The Crow

Movie I walked out of even though I scrounged up my last $5 in car ashtray nickels to buy a ticket:
City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold

Line from that movie that still makes me want to throw up:
Billy Crystal trying to initiate morning sex with his wife by saying, “Look honey, the little man wants to go to the parade”

The PARADE:
Uuuugggghhhhhhh

Movie I watched once in my early twenties and then added to my favorites list on every social networking profile I made for a decade and then rewatched recently and was so embarrassed:
Twin Falls, Idaho

Movies my husband and I quote most often to each other:
Abigail’s Party
The Neverending Story

Movies my husband cannot believe I’ve never seen:
Blues Brothers
Fletch
Caddyshack
Innerspace

Movies I’ve endured on an airplane while taking prescription drugs:
Sex and the City
Sex and the City 2
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Fountain

Movie my husband admitted to watching on Netflix “to help (him) fall asleep”:
Gnomeo & Juliet

Movie my husband admitted to watching on an airplane “to help (him) fall asleep”:
Bride Wars

Movie my husband watched on an airplane and every time I mention this fact he slides a bead down our marriage abacus towards divorce but I still cannot stop telling people:
Bride Wars

Movies I found fine the first time and do not require repeat viewings but the rest of the world seems to feel differently:
Anchorman
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Movies I will sit down and watch every time they’re on TV regardless of how many times I’ve seen them/how good or bad they are:
The Mummy
The Mummy Returns
The Parent Trap (Mills or Lohan, it don’t matter)
Deep Blue Sea
Coal Miner’s Daughter
Urban Cowboy
Braveheart
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Italian Job (1969 version only)
National Treasure
National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Movies my friend Laura and I will watch every single time we’re together with a bottle of wine:
The Dark Crystal
Labyrinth
Legend
Willow

movie

Movies I hate so much I can’t speak about them coherently for very long without just starting to make noises:
Love Actually
Notting Hill
Ice Age
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Ice Age: Continental Drift

Tumblr I started to document why and how much I hated the Ice Age movies:
Ice Rage

Person who actually came up with this name:
@jenniferh

Numbers of times I’ve updated Ice Rage:
Twice

Movie you might expect me to hate but you would be wrong:
The Sound of Music

Movies you might guess I would like because I said I liked The Sound of Music but again you would be wrong:
My Fair Lady
West Side Story
All other musicals 
All of them

Wait! No, that’s not true, I like Meet Me in St. Louis:
Meet Me in St. Louis

Last movie I saw in the theater:
Don Jon

Next movie I plan to see in the theater:
Last Vegas

Best movie I ever saw in a theater:
Knowing