gift guide for him

The girls are spending this holiday with their father in Brooklyn, and I decided to stay home and hang with my family because my favorite pastime is arguing about basic human decency over a giant piece of warm pecan pie.

Which reminds me: Marlo recently had a sleepover at my mother’s house with the rest of her cousins and overheard my mother say something like, “We respect the president and what he’s trying to do for our country.” Ahem.

Marlo wanted to know what I thought about this since she’s overheard conversations in our home wherein we communicate a very real fear that this dude is barely an upright corpse of a pumpkin. And that is the nicest thing we’ve ever said about him.

I’m trying not to indoctrinate my children with anything other than “please be a good person and care about the world around you.” That’s it. I want them to think critically about issues and come to their own conclusions, hopefully ones that are inspired by concern for the well-being and happiness of their fellow humans and the sacrifices we have to make in order to transform that concern into real action. But when she asked me that, I don’t know what came over me and without hesitation I said in complete monotone, “Donald Trump is the worst fucking person in the world.”

And then I repeated that sentence three times. Some truths we hold to be self-evident.

Was this supposed to be a Black Friday/Cyber Monday gift guide? Oops. I could recommend some cashmere scarves and overpriced watches you absolutely do not need, but instead I’ll ask that you read up on certain unalienable rights.

Sending you all sweet pecan kisses.