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Ah, Bill:

I always go for the Old Hand for one reason: produce. The Old Hand will know the code for kumquats, South African dog chilis and that weird thing I have no idea what it is, but I bought it to throw into the chili for flavor, assuming, of course, it has any flavor.

The Old Hand will know the code for the Weird Thing and offer some commentary to liven the experience, like, “What the hell are you going to do with this?”