You’re four years old and the word “diarrhea” is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.
Shave your face in the sink and leave a two-foot puddle of hairy water brimming on the countertop.
When I was seven years old I asked my father for a Saint Bernard not knowing that “because they don’t poop little poop” would become the answer to every request I made for at least eleven more years. I couldn’t stay out past midnight because my boyfriend didn’t poop little poop. Couldn’t go to Florida [...]
Swell: Everybody Wants to Know
You’re four years old and you describe the taste of Diet Coke as “potent”.
Prepare a meal that sends me to sleep with 14,000 calories in my belly.
It’s about time I took a Happy Hour disguised as a lunch hour.