Archives by date

You are browsing the site archives by date.

How to Charm Me

You’re four years old and the word “diarrhea” is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.

How to Annoy Me

Shave your face in the sink and leave a two-foot puddle of hairy water brimming on the countertop.

Dooce Needs a Dog

When I was seven years old I asked my father for a Saint Bernard not knowing that “because they don’t poop little poop” would become the answer to every request I made for at least eleven more years. I couldn’t stay out past midnight because my boyfriend didn’t poop little poop. Couldn’t go to Florida [...]


Swell: Everybody Wants to Know


Simon Ladefoged

How to Charm Me

You’re four years old and you describe the taste of Diet Coke as “potent”.

How to Annoy Me

Prepare a meal that sends me to sleep with 14,000 calories in my belly.

November 26, 2001


Launch Thanx


It’s about time I took a Happy Hour disguised as a lunch hour.