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If Britney isn’t performing at the Superbowl, what’s the point?

Stand By Me

I saw the real Erin Brockovich this morning, and remarkably, she looked nothing like the real Julia Roberts. Erin, that’s what I call her, passed me on her way down The Stairs this morning. She smelled like raspberries and hairspray. I tried not to make it obvious to everyone else on the staircase that I [...]




Brit’s Slit

Feeling Guilty

For eating an entire box of Kellogg’s new Winnie the Pooh cereal in less than one day.

How to Charm Me

Blame your farts on the little people in our cabinets doing an assortment of construction work.

How to Annoy Me

Insult the Asian database administrator. At least he’s not wearing fishnet stockings.


The box says 11 servings, but by my calculations, I’d say it’s only 2 servings.


The Jesus and Mary Chain: Darklands

Feeling Guilty

For running over and killing that bird with my car. Why couldn’t you have been a cat?