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How to Annoy Me

Turn on a “Wiggles” video and leave me alone with your 4-yr old, you heartless, cruel monster.

How to Charm Me

Hug me before you hug the dog even though he’s so excited you’re finally home from work that he’s jumped up on your back and wrapped his paws around your head.

Feeling Guilty

For taking “Real World: Las Vegas” way too seriously.

Reading

God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz

Enjoying

Escalate

Thinking

I shouldn’t admit publicly that I used to think “period pieces” were movies about menstruation.