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It’s cute that you want to sit next to me and rest your fuzzy head on my knees and that you want me to scratch your belly, but I’m constipated and your being in here is not helping.

The Reason I’ve Been Crying Incessantly For Days

It was just so soft and pretty.

How to Annoy Me

Be an angry gumball, so jealous and high-strung. I hate you angry gumball.

How to Charm Me

Tell my 5-yr old nephew that you’re going to eat one of his Chicken McNuggets and listen to him SCREAM. That never stops being funny.


This crazy nut job site (via Blurbo-Husband)


Running With Scissors


Supergrass: Life on Other Planets

Feeling Guilty

For blaming my farts on the dog. He’s probably farting anyway.


Now that the parents are out of town for the weekend it’s time to watch rated “R” movies and drink Coca-Cola with TOTAL WRECKLESS ABANDON.

April 11, 2003