For doing a Google search on “fat Christina Aguilera” and posting a link to this site. I am a terrible, terrible person.
I have kindly spared you the gory details of my pregnancy for almost five whole posts, and I thought I could go a little longer, maybe one or two more paragraphs, tops, but the urge is just too overwhelming and I can’t wait one more second to scream in all caps with an exclamation point [...]
Ask me if my vagina has a monologue.
Warn me about the dangers of “fecal alcohol poisoning.”