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How to Annoy Me

Sign up to do an episode of “Trading Spaces” and act all surprised when the designer replaces your bedspread with ASTRO TURF. What did you expect?

Thinking

Would it be weird to ask for a chainsaw for my birthday?

Feeling Guilty

For jumping to all sorts of conclusions when I really should just be jumping on a trampoline.

How to Charm Me

Point out to a car full of adults, including your Grandma and Grandpa, that your mommy has fur on her bottom!

In The Mood for Food

Over the weekend Jon and I attended a relatively small barbecue at a friend’s house with about 12 other adults and as many children. Right before we ate all the children walked around to the adults and handed out handwritten food and drink menus: The spieshl stek was indeed very spieshl, and although I’ve been [...]

Reading

Textism

I Know That This Is Probably Not The Grossest Thing You’ve Ever Seen, But . . .

It should come pretty damn close. This is what happens when there is no Spring and the dog loses his entire winter coat IN ONE DAY all over the kitchen floor. You’re welcome to click on the image to see a larger version, but you might end up walking around with that visual in your [...]

How to Annoy Me

Send me an email suggesting that I am a terrible person for using household cleaners on my dog. YOU don’t have to live with my dog’s feet.

How to Charm Me

Watch with me in amusement as we stand there and let the dog try to attack and kill the sprinkler head.

Listening

Starlight Mints: Built on Squares